Silly Me

Nothing bad to say. Short and sweet. And very cute! It's one of the ones that make you go "awww, how adorable". Good job

I really liked it. It had depth and meaning and i think you did a really great job. At first at though that this poem would have a rythm sceame but it didn't and i thought you did a wonderful job anyway. Keep writing.

Sol..
Another excellent piece of work! This one is rather light hearted and fun, a real easy going read.
I thoroughly enjoyed every verse and not only did it show talent but it showed your fun side too. XD

On to grammar. You must have checked over well as I couldn't find much wrong with your punctuation. Not much at all. I'm going to be very picky now so here goes! --->>


Silly me, I'm back here again
Holding on to something that I want far awayThe if you read this it doesn't exactly make sense. Holding onto something that you want far away? Are you saying you want it but not near you or what? Maybe re-write this. It's a little confusing.
And, here I am, trying to walk awayThe second away is bothering me. It's a bit too repetitive for me.
Mending my own thoughts and lying to myself

Silly me, just look what I've become
Slave of I think slave to a feeling sounds better. a feeling, but sitting on a throne This is well written sol! It's exactly how you feel when your in love. Yo'll do anything for him/her but your feeling like your on cloud nine!
Powerful while dreaming, fool when I'm awake
Meanwhile life mocks me and makes obvious bets

Silly me, stopping what has grown
"Wake up! What do you want?" Again this is a little confusing. Wake up is a command and then you have a question. It's a bit rushed for such a skilful work of art. )
I know. But, I still hide behind my mind and thoughts

Silly me, like a little girl
Exploring the world, I'm way lost againBeautiful. The words are jumping off the page.
I stick to my alibis and end up in shame
Because they become null when the boy says, "Hey" Ah hah!! We finally know that your falling for a guy. It's a good time to let us know as I was getting a little agitated at not knowing what you were on about. So thanks for dropping that little hint. Sneaakky sol!

Silly me, tangling up some words
Just to accept it
I'm falling in love



Your ending was really genius. Like after all the imagery and descriptive words you finally say ah feck it! And then you just spill it simply. It's like that with love. YOU make so many flowery and dolled up excuses but in the end the answer is clear and plain.

Tis must of taken a lot of your time sol! It's really really good and I must say there is another like coming your way! I loved reading this.

Like like like! I wish there was a love button.
XD
KAKA XO

Like it, very frank and forthright. I can definitely relate to this and know how your feeling (for the most part). Not much of a poetry guy myself but you have a good piece here definitely.

So you made me feel like I was reading about myself I like it. It touched a soft spot for me.
I think if you worked on it more you could make it have more of a rhythm, but know it can be really difficult to say what you feel and keep the beat. I'm not very good at it myself.
Starting each section with 'Silly me' was a great though.
Love that ^_^

i totally agree

Because I wanted to... wrote:So you made me feel like I was reading about myself I like it. It touched a soft spot for me.
I think if you worked on it more you could make it have more of a rhythm, but know it can be really difficult to say what you feel and keep the beat. I'm not very good at it myself.
Starting each section with 'Silly me' was a great though.
Love that ^_^

kakagirl wrote:Sol..
Another excellent piece of work! This one is rather light hearted and fun, a real easy going read.
I thoroughly enjoyed every verse and not only did it show talent but it showed your fun side too. XD

On to grammar. You must have checked over well as I couldn't find much wrong with your punctuation. Not much at all. I'm going to be very picky now so here goes! --->>


Silly me, I'm back here again
Holding on to something that I want far awayThe if you read this it doesn't exactly make sense. Holding onto something that you want far away? Are you saying you want it but not near you or what? Maybe re-write this. It's a little confusing.
And, here I am, trying to walk awayThe second away is bothering me. It's a bit too repetitive for me.
Mending my own thoughts and lying to myself

Silly me, just look what I've become
Slave of I think slave to a feeling sounds better. a feeling, but sitting on a throne This is well written sol! It's exactly how you feel when your in love. Yo'll do anything for him/her but your feeling like your on cloud nine!
Powerful while dreaming, fool when I'm awake
Meanwhile life mocks me and makes obvious bets

Silly me, stopping what has grown
"Wake up! What do you want?" Again this is a little confusing. Wake up is a command and then you have a question. It's a bit rushed for such a skilful work of art. )
I know. But, I still hide behind my mind and thoughts

Silly me, like a little girl
Exploring the world, I'm way lost againBeautiful. The words are jumping off the page.
I stick to my alibis and end up in shame
Because they become null when the boy says, "Hey" Ah hah!! We finally know that your falling for a guy. It's a good time to let us know as I was getting a little agitated at not knowing what you were on about. So thanks for dropping that little hint. Sneaakky sol!

Silly me, tangling up some words
Just to accept it
I'm falling in love



Your ending was really genius. Like after all the imagery and descriptive words you finally say ah feck it! And then you just spill it simply. It's like that with love. YOU make so many flowery and dolled up excuses but in the end the answer is clear and plain.

Tis must of taken a lot of your time sol! It's really really good and I must say there is another like coming your way! I loved reading this.

Like like like! I wish there was a love button.
XD
KAKA XO

keep on writting

Thanks, guys.

This was a good poem.
I enjoined reading it, and the fact of what it was at the end was a surprise.
I can definitely relate to this poem, and I think that is wonderful.
The fact that what happens and what is going on, or what the person is saying in this poem, makes you really think. I know that it is a good example of what happens to a bunch of younger girls like me, as falling in love is something silly.
Keep writing, and keep up the good work!
Here, there, and everywhere,
CassidyRose

TAKE A PEACE
OF MY HEART
AND BE HAPPY

PEACE LOVE HAPPINESS :d ;D

Great job! When I first looked at it, I couldn't get past the first lie because your profile picture is SO amazing, but distracting... I was VERY tired at the time. Anyways, I came back to it, very glad I did. I love this poem, it's catchy. Again, great job, thank you for sharing this, and I'd love to read more from you!

This is a lovely poem, Solvalery. You have put in so much emotion into this piece, and that’s what I found enjoyable.
I did find it a little difficult to try and understand what’s going on - whether it’s supposed to be sad or whether it’s supposed to be happy, if it’s supposed to be good or bad, so it was confusing for me in that respects,... but I guess that’s what really happens you’re in a situation of when you’re falling in love with someone. So if that’s the case, then you’ve done a good job at bringing in all those emotions and feelings into the piece.

This is a work of skill and it really is a good poem which expresses a lot of emotion and feeling.
I’m just gonna throw this out there for curiosity’s sake... have you considered putting a tune to it? Who knows - it could work out very nicely as a song.

Keep up the great work.

OMG! Hey Solvy, Shadow here!

There isn't much to say! I LOVE it! You know, you're my favourite poet ^^ haha on YWS that is I've read a lot of your work (though I haven't reviewed much) and I love everything you've done! You're an amazing person, really!

Lots of love and luck! Keep writing, you're great!

D'awwe, Solvaa, this is really good. I'm afraid I can't really give you a review on this because long story short, I stink at reviewing poetry. But yeah, I really enjoyed reading this and it deserves to be up there and featured. I thought I'd jst stop by to say that. Keep writing m'dear, and never give up. Ever!
~Tamara x

I like it a lot. I know how you\character feels. Actually I'm feeling that way right now. *Dreamily sighs* Dylan...
Anyway just want to tell you I love it and keep writing!

I liked this, it made me smile.
Its a good piece of poetry and the idea is good, I also like the structure, it works well with the poem.
I love the feelings in this and how it also makes you feel, like your with the character.
I love it seriously!
I especially like:

Exploring the world, I'm way lost again

Its magical.
Well done!

Um.... Yeah Its great!
Though i feel a bit weird cos now everyone seems to "know" what "love" is and I feel like i don't.

GREAT WORK!