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Forgive Me

Lady Sydney · 2008-01-07T04:06:55Z

Well, here I go again. This is my second attempt at poetry. Enjoy! :D --- You’ll have to forgive me, for borrowing your heart. But give me a second, to tear it apart. I can only imagine, how you must feel. To know that my love for you, was never real. I can still see the rain, pouring from your eyes. Once you knew my sweet words, were all lies. I can still hear the thunder, roaring from your lips. And I can still feel the lightning, striking in your fists. Those beautiful big brown eyes, that always shined. And that soul of yours, so pure and kind. I can still see us, sneaking kisses in the hall. There’s not one single moment, I cannot recall. I know I brightened your world, when I held you close. And I know you felt just as good, when you overdosed.

*writewatiwant*

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Thu Mar 05, 2009 7:04 pm

*writewatiwant* says... · Thu Mar 05, 2009 7:04 pm

I gave you a gold star

Piglet: How do you spell love?
Pooh: You don't spell it. You feel it.

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moonlight123

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Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:01 pm

moonlight123 says... · Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:01 pm

Great poem. Your style sorta reminds me of my own so I was intrigued from the first line. It had a pretty good rhythm to it and most of the lines flowed nicely.

I can only imagine, how you must feel.
To know that my love for you, was never real.

Take out "for you" here, it ruins the rhythm.

Great job and keep writing, this was very good for a second poem!

The best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream.

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Daddy Long Legs are more closely related to crabs than spiders and somehow the idea of crablike creatures with spider legs that have escaped the entrappings of the primordial sea and now crawl over land and can walk up and down walls and ceilings creeps me more than I can adequately describe.
— Snoink

Forgive Me

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