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Hello I will begin my critique for you now xD

YWS has a rule stating that a user must keep a ratio of 2:1 for a member's writings, meaning for every piece of writing you post, you must have have had made two review/critiques for other members. It's okay, seeing as you just joined.

First of all, it's nice and symbolic. Good job, it's not that bad.

angelicgirl wrote:She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace [i]

Secondly, in your writing, neither smileys are needed nor are [i]

angelicgirl wrote:The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

I would've put:

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask,
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask,
Bearing a burden from the secret storm,
Silently wishing she was never born.

^^ or something cheesy like that.
Overall, not bad. I'd advise you use a thing I call commas, you know. Also, poetry doesn't have to rhyme, just has to flow. Don't be afraid to not rhyme, for, many poets don't even rhyme at all. It's kind of short, I'd add some more detail. It's flow needs work too, at first you talk about walking to school, then a teacher, then her dreams...? But I liked the rhyming and alliteration patterns. You used a lot of words repetitively, like 'place.' I'd advise using another word and describing this place.

Hey you shouldn't post lyrics by somebody else, you know? These are the lyrics from Concrete Angel by Martina McBride

*LOCKED*

Plagiarism.