Young Writers Society

Brilliant rhyming. I haven't seen such a flowing and easy to read rhyme scheme for an age until I read this...it reminds me so much of mature published poems I've read.

Pathetic and helpless
and don't you forget
that your silences speaks centuries
and your words speak regret.

Generally, this was good, but I feel the word 'centuries' might extend the third line a little too much. However I am bereft of any suggestions of how to replace it, so it would do little to harm the poem by keeping it there. I'm a bit scared of changing anything in this poem, as it might disrupt the original beat that I loved.

I think this may be the first poem I've read for so long the flows so well each stanza falling into each other perfect sense brought across in every word. Yet another master piece of the day.

wow...am i reading a poem by brad that rhymes?
quirkiness is definitely evident,lol.
anyway, first off i'd like to thank you for a normal sized font. i didn't have to past it in microsoft word just so i could read it.
second of all, the rhyming scheme was good except:
Forgetting existence
and silence so loud
our ears take the beat
and the muzic, it pounds.
--it didn't rhyme all that well, but the stanza itself was good and i still don't think you should change it.

That was really good!

Wow, and thats all I have to say....

This was good...liked reading it...dunno about the title though