Young Writers Society

Professor Severus Snape stood by a large window looking over Hogwarts grounds. 'Why does this day have to be so…“perfect” for everyone else, when it's the worse day for me?' Severus thought to himself angrily. He took his fist and hit the stone wall as hard as he could. 'Why is life so unfair to me? Have I not been punished enough for the thing I've done?'
Katherine had come into his life so fast and now she was leaving him as quickly as she had entered. Severus had told himself not to fall in love, but his heart did not pay any attention to what he said.
McGonagall had warned him also, she said that there would be consequences to pay for their actions. Especially since Katherine could only remember her name and no-one knew a thing about her past.
Severus had told Katherine that they should not be too hasty about the things they did, for she might have a husband and a family for all they knew. But she said that she would rather live with the consequence then to not have his love.
And now that day had come, her memory had come back. Only to find out that she was engaged to a fine gentleman. A pure-blood, who could give Lucius Malfoy a run for his money. Severus knew he could not live up to that standard. He knew he would have to give her up and move on.
"I'll never love again." Severus whispered to himself.
"I'm sorry it has to end like this." A soft voice said from across the hall.
Severus took a deep breath and stepped away from the window. Katherine stood on the other side of the hall, though she was at a distance he could still tell that she had been crying.
"My family’s here to pick me up." Katherine said stepping closer to him.
"Of course." Severus replied. He could not think of anything else to say.
"I wanted to tell you good-bye before I go." She stopped beside the window. Her deep red hair flowed about her pale sweet face. Her green eyes filled with tears as she looked at Severus. He could tell that she did not want to leave him no more then he wanted to leave her.
Severus took deep breaths try to find the right words to say. Good-bye just did not sound right, not now.
Katherine quickly stepped forward and hugged him tightly, started crying against him. Severus hugged her back trying to blink back the tears that filled his eyes. ‘Why? Why does it have to end like this.…?’

I'd suggest that you describe Snape and Katherine's love more. What was it like? When was this, because I thought Snape loved Lily... You may want to build on the chracters a little more. Give them more personality, like how they are like in the books. This is an interesting idea. Keep on going!

-Crescent

I like how you compare the fiance of Katherine to Lucius. Oh, and yes, Snape was in love with Lily, But I like how you made Katherine with red hair and green eyes like Lily. I never imagined Snape would find new love. Oh well, maybe it's another step toward his bitterness. Now he will either love or despise all red haired, green eyed woman.

LOVE --ULTRAVIOLET

That was sad! I mean I was literally in tears! Dang (Sobbing pathetically)!
I love when people appeal to Snapes good side. He such a misunderstood character!

But what about Lily? He was in love with Harry's mom right?(Eww) Wasn't that the basis for him helping Dumbledore?

Other than that, it's was great.

I liked this quite a bit, Katherine bears a striking resemblance to lily potter with the red hair and green eyes. Was that intentional on your part of just coincidental.
If I were to nitpick about anything it would be when you said

Have I not been punished enough for the thing I've done?'

I'd probably change "thing" to "what", but besides that it was was pretty good.
I do wish you'd given a little more information about how the two of them met,
i'm sure you could probably elaborate on that more if you wanted

That's so tragic!!! POOR SNAPE! I absolutely adore him after reading the seventh book!!!!! <3 Anyway, I think this is good, but there are a few spelling mistakes so I'm going to make them red.

Professor Severus Snape stood by a large window looking over the Hogwarts grounds. 'Why does this day have to be so…“perfect” for everyone else, when it's the worse day for me?' Severus thought to himself angrily. He took his fist and hit the stone wall as hard as he could. 'Why is life so unfair to me? Have I not been punished enough for the things I've done?'

Katherine had come into his life so fast and now she was leaving him just as quickly as she had entered. Severus had told himself not to fall in love, but his heart did not pay any attention to what he said.

McGonagall had warned him too, she said that there would be consequences for his actions. Especially since Katherine could only remember her name and no-one knew a thing about her past.

Severus had told Katherine that they should not be too hasty about the things they did, for she might have a husband and a family for all they knew. But she said that she would rather live with the consequences then to not have his love.

And now that day had come, her memory had come back. Only to find out that she was engaged to a fine gentleman. A pure-blood, who could give Lucius Malfoy a run for his money. Severus knew he could not live up to that standard. He knew he would have to give her up and move on.

"I'll never love again." Severus whispered to himself.

"I'm sorry it has to end like this." A soft voice said from across the hall.

Severus took a deep breath and stepped away from the window. Katherine stood on the other side of the hall, though she was at a distance, he could still tell that she had been crying.

"My family’s here to pick me up." Katherine said stepping closer to him.

"Of course." Severus replied. He could not think of anything else to say.

"I wanted to tell you good-bye before I go." She stopped beside the window. Her deep red hair flowed about her pale sweet face. Her green eyes filled with tears as she looked at Severus. He could tell that she did not want to leave him anymore than he wanted to leave her.

Severus took deep breaths try to find the right words to say. Good-bye just did not sound right, not now.

Katherine quickly stepped forward and hugged him tightly, started to cry against him. Severus hugged her back trying to blink back the tears that filled his eyes. ‘Why? Why does it have to end like this.…?’

He, that was so... emotional and not Snape-like;
but is was really cute.
It was a good idea to put Snape in such a situation; contrast is good =D

This was really good.

--- A.