Young Writers Society

I've been re-reading the original Kidnapped, and I've noticed I do a LOT of telling and very, very little showing.

The story is a romance, so there are a lot of complex emotions I have to somehow get across. I mostly did this by having my MC be extremely insightful and 'tell' the readers what's going on. >_> Which is bad.

So, can anyone tell me how I can 'show' when using a first person narration style?

:/

The same way you do it in third-person. Except it's from the perspective of the character.

Prokaryote

Heehee, Prok has a good answer, but it's not so simple. You couldn't take a story in the third person, change all the pronouns/names, and call it day. It's different - first person has the main character as a filter, where as third is, more or less, filter less. (By filter I mean that what is written is coming from the thoughts, voice, mind, and observations of the first person narrator.)

It is a bit harder, especially with emotions, because it's so much easier to say, "I loved her" instead of showing it. I had this challenge, and now that I've found my way in first person, slipping back into third is a challenge.

My suggestion is to go through and find all the places where you tell, and mark them, or work on one at a time. Think about how you could say it another way. For example, the common one I do: "I felt nervous." This is a horrible way to tell things. Keep in mind, always, that you want your reader to be able to feel, not just observe. My best friend in these instances is body language and movement. So "I felt nervous" becomes "I dug my nails into my palm" or "my voice shook" or "My hands shook so much I dropped the glass and it shattered."

Those are still a bit telling (I accuse almost everything in first person to be telling, though, because really, you're telling a story! so ignore me) but they're better. Anything that gives your reader more feeling, more imagery, is a great way to avoid telling.

Metaphors are also my best friends, but I'm a bit obsessed with them. If you can find a strange association between things, and use it as a metaphor for what your character is feeling, or what the situation is like, that will add spice to your writing and avoid telling.

If a sentence tells, description may be needed instead. Always keep in mind what your character's bodies are doing, because just like in real life, the body says a lot more than the actual character does - and more than just telling does.

I feel like I'm getting redundant so I will stop. If you have any questions go ahead and bug me. I'm not sure I made a whole lot of sense!