In a non-dramatic, non-teenage-angsty sort of way, I'm feeling very..."lost" as a writer. I've been at work on stories for years, which may or may not mean a whole lot considering how you look at it and considering I'm only 18 and I've been doing this since I was only 9. I've gotten these feelings before. Perhaps it's only accentuated because I'm growing up, facing the real world while at the same time trying to deal with fake ones that are in my head. Or perhaps I'm missing something. And this whole game of "perhapsing" is exactly what the dilemma in question is.
Now, I don't mean to ramble so I'll try to refrain from that, but pardon me if[when] I do. I've been doing this since I was 9, and let me tell you if you didn't already know, but 9 year olds very rarely have any idea what they're doing. I like to think that in between these 9 years of writing I've finally learned what I'm doing. And there's always times when I get to a part of a story and I think "YES, this is my story. I am a WRITER."
Then this happens.
Three chapters in and I'm feeling... lost. Other stories can't start themselves. Ideas aren't coming to me anymore like they used to. Is this some kind of mid-life crisis?
Another thing: I don't "write" like people are supposed to. That's just a fact, and it isn't even a choice to me, it just sort of happens. I like for words to happen, and I don't like to read books or hear lectures about how to write. Not because I'm a rebel or any of that, and I used to actually read those kind of things. But for me, personally, I sort of take the surrealist approach. I didn't choose to be a writer. And I don't choose the stories that are meant to be written.
I'm finally starting to let people read my work because I feel like I finally need someone to tell me what I need to do. And I write this post because I dunno. Does anyone else ever get this way? The whole reason for this trouble is because I always felt like a writer, and somewhere deep inside my internal organs I guess I know that I am. But lately I feel like I'm not. Is this normal?
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