Young Writers Society

Removed.

I don't know why, but this really appealed to me, despite it's shortness. For all it's apparent triviality, it had a real sense of deepness. Good job.

I agree with Jack... on the surface it seemed kind of trivial, and quite random, but it just gave me a feeling that there was something more lurking just below eye level. My favourite line:

Now, he’s looking around, cell phone still in his hands, and he’s not sure where his ride is or if where he’s going is important, but he finally recognizes the doves. He looks surprised; that is, as surprised as one can be to see a small flock of birds fluking around you. He brushes them off languidly, with a stroke of his black&white rainbow brush, he wipes them out of existence and paints over their presence with Technicolor nostalgia.

Overall, I liked it. Great job.

Hm...I don't know how it was trivial or random...but then again I'm Morgan and a little slow.
Anyway, there was like no dialogue at all and I'm surprised I still liked it.

"His car finally arrives. He looks upset, but gets in anyway. I wonder how far they will go before the boy realizes he forgot to leave the doves something to eat. They look pretty pissed."

That had to be my favorite part...I wrote something like this once before, almost just like it--but I can't remember what it went to or where it is, but yeah...it was great.

"The pigeons hobble around breadcrumbs, taciturn in their thanks to those who drop them."

Very creative...wish I could've done that...

I kind of like it. It was good that you actually gave the character some kind of identity beyond "he" as so many people do when they don't want to give a name, even if that identity is just "boy"