i clamber through the hole in the old wood fence. my oasis of calm. in here, beetween the meandering passageways and pink blossom trees, you can't hear the roaring of cars, or the footsteps of people.
A rope swing hangs from a high oak tree. just a small wooden plank attatched to rope. swaying. swaying ever so gently in the afternoon breeze. i sit upon it. swinging myself higher and higher, until the tips of my toes brush the lower branches, and i'm certain that i can soar straight through them and touch the sky.
There is a rustle below me. My exhilirating world shatters and i gradually swing to a slow stop. And then I see her. clear as day infront of me. the woman i once called mother. She smiles at me. too far away to touch, but solid as stone.
i see her talking to me. i can't hear her, but i understand her. She tells me not to cry for her. to be strong. That she's not worth my tears...
'I thought you'd be here.' i voice behind me whispers. I turn to see the familiar and comforting face of my big sister, Adelle.
'Adelle! look it's her! I just saw her!' i cry. Adelle can see her too can't she?
'There's no-one there Hannah.' she tells me gently.
'There is! can't you see her? she's there! look!' i insist.
Hannah...' she trails of not knowing what to say.
'It's exactly one year to the day, Adelle. One whole year.'
'I know. this day's the same for all of us. You just have to suck up the pain and bear it.' she tells me softly.
'I don't want to, Adelle. I just want her back so much. Don't you want her back?' I look over. she is still there. a mischeviouse grin playing over her slight, elfin face, as she looks upon Adelle and me.
'Oh hannah! of course i do! we all do.' she rushes over and holds me close, as if she's afraid i might blow away in the wind.
I don't know how long we stood there. locked in each others embrace. I wanted Adelle to see her. but then. i was glad. that this moment was just for me. When we drew apart she was gone. My angle from heaven.
The tears came anyway.
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