The world is an unforgiving place. Adam and Eve plunged the world into sin and
darkness. The world was then cleansed and washed of all sin from a monumental flood that
destroyed everything by the wrath of God. Still, sin managed to break through, thus Jesus
Christ was born. The son of God sent from Heaven to save the world as our hero and ruler. He
died for our sins because he loved us so much our minds can’t even wrap around the thought of
it. He came to teach us on how to love each other just as he did us. “A new commandment I
give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you.” – John 13:34
Before I got in touch with Jesus I was a depressed teenager. No, I did not fit in the ‘emo’
scene nor did I cut myself. I had a master plan of contemplating suicide to end all the terrors
that haunted me. It started when I was just a boy. My father beat my mom. He was
unreasonable and selfish. He did my family wrong in many ways. I had no childhood. He left me
with my half-psychotic mother, and a brother with too much ego. My dad was the only person
who I would look up to.
Then he just vanished. Just like that. The pain was overwhelming. How can a man just leave
his children for a “better life”? I was in denial of the thought as I grew, ‘oh, he never left me. He
was just taking a break!’. I was just 8 or 9 when I thought of that foolish scenario. Through my
preteen years he never communicated with me. I told friends he was dead. In my heart he truly
was. I got into drugs and drifted off the path of light. I let down my mom so many times I gave
up trying to be the perfect child. I always tried to make people smile and happy, so they won’t
have to feel the pain of loneliness or sadness like I did. I joined small crews consisting of stupid
youngsters like myself into thinking taking control of turf was the best idea of fellowship. We
were only kids, so violence was just fights and destruction of property. Then in eighth grade, we
moved to different state due to my mom's job relocation. No friends, no nothing. My brother stayed back.
Everything seemed fine with fun, happiness and friends until a rumor and a horrible one too was spoken.
Everyone rejected me. They even hated me. They threatened to hurt me, even kill me. I moved to
a new school because my mother did not want me to be around negativies
I was loved there. Still, a dark thought popped into my mind, Satan himself whispered to me while I cried face down in the dirt, “You’re nothing. You better finish yourself off, before someone else does. DO IT!!” At last, Summer came. I was
readying for my death. I had a belt fastened as a noose to pillars in my closet. Suddenly, a friend of mine
called just before I took the last step off the chair. He invited me to a church summer
camp. “Whatever, I’ll be dead anyway. Why not.” I thought to myself. Those five days of camp
changed me. I saw the majesty of God and his beauty. I was moved by the sermons that were
taught. I noticed leaders doing testimonies during the last days. So, I decided to do a testimony.
In front of everyone. It took me forever to get the strength to make a speech and to fathom
what I was about to do. Nevertheless, I did it. I broke down in tears as did many others. I swore
that I would trust and believe in Jesus Christ as our savior and king. I would serve for him and
try my best to do good for people and make people happy. As time went on things got harder.
Sure,
the rumors died and I gained a lot more friends and a best friend but when my Dad actually
made contact with me after saying things that made my heart break, I couldn’t take the shock.
The biggest shock is that I now have a two year old half sister. To add onto this, ninth grade
started out rough with many upperclassmen “hazing” me. I understand this is what they do in
high school but what I have been through, this is what I do not deserve. I was picked on by
them and many others who didn’t know my pain. Till this day I still try to make
people laugh and happy and do good things even though sometimes I get to hyper and disobey
my teachers(My bad). I believe I’m drifting away from God because of the past and my personal
issues. It’s hard to stay on track of loving each other when the person you’re trying to show
love to hurts you. I must prevail and I must become the Light of the Lord. I made an oath.
In the future, I promise to become a beacon of hope for those in need of love and Jesus.
My experience with dark times could help with others who are in a similar position. I hope to
break out of the darkness and into the light. I hope for a new world. I will help create a new
world where men will become better than hate and brutality. We have already been given
wings but we still need to learn how to fly. I want to fly into the light of God, into the future.
That future of love, friendship, comfort, and the spirit of the almighty God! I will do these
things. I will fly above sin and carry the burdened with me. I will fly. I will love just as he loved.
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails...But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of
these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13
1 Corinthian 13:4-7,13
John 13:34
