Hello! Trying my best to get this particular short story ready for an Advanced Creative Writing class. >_<
I am currently reworking the fourth chapter as it was a large piece of CRAP, but the first three are available to read and I'd appreciate it very much if you'd take a look! ^_^
No problem, Hannah. I can swear like a sailor if I put my mind to it. I'll get to it after I've done my chores and stuff XD Hopefully tonight, or in other words in the next eight hours.
It's not easy having a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache.
It'd be great if you could review them all, but 6-8 (and 9 to finish the scene) are definitely R rated. Chapter 8 has a sex scene and generous use of cursing.
Since I seem to have a few errors and I get many of them in editing, please point out what you liked or didn't like rather then just trying to tear into it. Could really use someone's perspective on characters, development and the flow.
A childish girl who lives in a childish illusion that the world is loving and death doesn't exist. However, when she moves in with her stepmother everything will change. Simply meaning that a man comes along and bursts her bubble. Come and read the horrifying and disturbing horror/comedy about a girl and her neighbor, a homicidal mass murdering maniac!
I hear you are an exceptional reviewer so I'd love your input. Here is the link to my latest work:
topic43879.html It is chapter two, so basically the first chapter is about a younger sister who has a lack of self-esteem and is living in the shadow of her older sister. The chapter ended with the protagonist failing most of her classes and her sister passing all of her classes. If you want a more in depth look feel free to read the first chapter. post505446.html#505446
As always I will be happy to return the favor, if you have anything specific that you'd like critiqued please just PM me with the link. Thank you!!
I am not addicted to reading, I can quit as soon as I finish one more chapter.
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities. — Dr. Seuss
Gender:
Points: 890
Reviews: 233