I posted it a little while back and have since edited it and fixed it up a bit according to the suggestions (mostly advising me to rewrite one scene, which I did). However, I'm at a stage now where I just really don't like it. I want to start improving it but I'm having trouble distancing myself from it, so I'd love your opinions and critique on it.
Because of my horrible manners, I never thanked you for reviewing my last piece. But it helped a lot. There were things I didn't like about it but that I couldn't quite place, and you helped me see some of them, like the lacking of the senses. Anyway, the next part is up - chapter two - and I would love if you could it a review.
That's not a problem, I don't expect to be thanked for the reviews and when I am it's always a pleasant surprise I'll gladly take a look at it for you xx
We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time. — T.S. Eliot
