~1200 words toward a new draft of FriendsBreakupShort. God willing that's not less than half since the final word count can only be about 3500 words lolsob.
Not convinced it's actually any better than the original, but at least I pressed on, so hopefully I will actually complete my second draft this weekend like I said.
799 words toward the new draft of FriendsBreakupShort and I'm exhausted and I just want to finish it and yeet it at betas and then PLOT TWIST never look back at it again, not even to edit it into a final, submittable form
Zero words toward MerfolkShort, which would bum me out more if I weren't tired and peevish from working on this dumb story about platonic breakups
a) it's over 3,500 words now, so I need to cut at least 100 words >.< b) it has 3 different "[something]" where I need to back and fill in whatever I meant but couldn't come up with at the time c) I don't have a proper title d) it probably sucks idk
This story is so exhausting and horrible to work on. It's so short but the subject matter is deeply personal and it wears me out to write it. And I'm writing it for submission, and it could be rejected
Literally why am I even doing this to myself
MerfolkShort
236 words, which is like barely a fifth of my goal for the weekend lolsob but literally FriendsBreakup took so much out of me it's amazing I worked on this at all.
No work on either of these yesterday, but some feedback on FriendsBreakup makes me hopeful that all I have left is line edits, and I had a breakthrough on MerfolkShort that I hope will help me draft it faster bc I've got more direction.
No work on either of these AGAIN a l a s but in my defense it's because of the power outage. I worked on Groundskeeper until it was too dark to write, then I typed up what I had, then it was bedtime.
Today will probably again be nothing because of how today is going and my continue lack of power, but TOMORROW, HOPEFULLY.
Also, more feedback on FriendsBreakup again indicates that all I have left to do at this point is line edits THANK GOODNESS because I really don't think I could handle another full draft
Okay no actual WRITING, but I did do some planning toward MerfolkShort because...I don't think it's going anywhere until I figure it out >.<
Dumping my planning in here~
Spoiler! :
I was thinking a week or so ago that Jane needs to actually have a G O A L and I was thinking her goal is to find her dad
although in that case maybe he needs to have left more recently? like within the last year? that's probably enough time for Jane and her mom not to say anything to each other anymore but recently enough for Jane to be looking alternatively, I could give Jane a reason to want to find her dad NOW; one reason could be something to do with, like, something that suddenly makes her think she COULD find him; or maybe there's something significant about this time in her life, something her dad once said or did that makes her think he must be coming back now? or??? hmmMMMMMmmm
what if like she's
well no she's gotta already be 16 if she's gonna DRIVE HERSELF to Tybee, right
grrrrrrrrr
okay well what I was going to say before that was like, what if her dad once promised her they'd do [insert thing here] when she turned [16 except I need her to be able to drive, so], and now her birthday's coming up and she's like "no he'll be here" and either she *has* her birthday and he doesn't show and she starts trying to find him OR she's already looking for him OR she starts looking for him as her birthday draws nearer bc she hasn't heard anything
OH also note to self, I was thinking Jane's job could actually be at a boat rental place bc then she could just grab a boat from her place of work to zip out at the end, plus I think she'd like that job better (although I guess her mom would maybe be like NO - maybe if this was Mom's first job too, or similar to it, that would be a reason for her to kind of overlook this?)
hmmmm but,,,ocean. I mean I could probably balance wanting to find dad with constantly wanting to be at the ocean. my other thought was that she's BEEN looking for her dad but has kind of given up and is now just trying to be at the ocean bc it's the only place she feels like herself, but idkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk agency whomst motivation whomst story goals whomst
I still only have feedback from two friends so far on that last draft, so I'm going to hold off on line edits until tomorrow night or Monday, but then we're gonna DIG IN and Y E E T.
MerfolkShort
I actually wrote 355 words today AND I did HELLA PLANNING and have something resembling an OUTLINE let's goooooooooo
Spoiler! :
- Oliver calls Jane and Jane can talk in her room even though she's technically in trouble, because this is the one advantage of her mother refusing to talk about anything: her mother won't even talk to her about being in trouble, so she can just kinda do almost what she wants when "in trouble." Oliver's just calling to see how Jane is and to see if she's in trouble for her birthday next week? Jane's like probably not but it's not like mom even remembers, but it's fine bc dad'll be home bc he PROMISED that when I turned sixteen something something significance somehow. Oliver's like mmmmmmmm maybe don't get your hopes but Jane is adamant. Oliver asks about Muirenn, I think.
- so then we get into who Muirenn is and how Jane met her, only I want to tighten this up for sure for sure, plus it's going to slightly change unless I age Jane up to almost-seventeen instead of almost-sixteen, because otherwise how does she get to work? (I just looked it up and it's basically taxi or rideshare, there's a shuttle as well but it only runs sometimes) I guess Oliver could drive her but I don't love that because the point is for Jane to go whenever she wants? although if Oliver's her bestie then maybe they drive her to work and just say "lmk when you want to be picked up but fyi if you ask me to pick you up at such and such a time you're gonna be waiting bc I have plans." actually you know what I do like that EXCEPT at the end I'm not sure how that would work because? is she supposed to OH WAIT if her birthday is "next week" in story time then obviously once that happens she CAN drive if I simply mention she gets her license BAM PROBLEM SOLVED lol okay cool
- okay so YES we get Muirenn and how they MET but it's gotta be smushed down into all one scene, preferably
- and then we could jump back to present: it's her birthday, she meets with Muirenn, Oliver comes too, and they sit and stare out at the ocean until the stars are out and then Jane goes home bc she's scared but SURE her dad will be there because he p r o m i s e d whatever he promised...but he's not there. maybe she calls Oliver immediately and they're like "idk what to tell you babe I knew oh wait no don't cry what do you want to do" and she's like "I want to find my dad." it might be kinda far into the story for this to happen lolsob BUT we're going with it FOR NOW and I can fix later
- unfortunately, dad left no clue of where he went and honestly even Oliver is like "mmm but what if he is actually dead? like I'm not saying your mom killed him, but it IS awfully weird that he left all his stuff behind if he walked out, right? like what if he went and killed himself or" and Jane gets upset like "fine if you don't want to help me I'll find him myself" *click*
- but of course instead of doing it HERSELF she goes to Muirenn bc she really does need help. she has no clue where to start, but her dad spent so much time at the ocean that she feels like there must be some sort of connection somewhere. she's also certain there must be clues in her parents' office, and Muirenn's like "so go snoop" and Jane's like "it's LOCKED" and Muirenn's like "break in" and Jane's like "wtf no how even I'll figure it out somehow"
- but she's doing her detective work however she can, like maybe she asks at her dad's old workplace (maybe that's her current workplace for the same ocean-loving reasons), uhhhhhh maybe she asks some of their old neighbors who never see them anymore since her mom stopped talking about things and going out, etc etc? but she's not getting much of anywhere, except there have to be things in here about the ocean/something something changelings something something
- in the course of this, maybe while canvassing neighbors, Oliver comes to help her like "look idk what happened to your dad but we're besties and I'm helping you find him if he can be found"
- also in the course of this, Jane returns to Muirenn bc she can't stay away, or maybe she returns to Muirenn bc she has questions about her father and the ocean bc she's like "I just keep thinking it's connected somehow, it has to be, he was never away from the ocean" but Muirenn's like "sorry I don't know anything" and presses her again to break into her parents' office
- Jane goes home thinking about that but uneasy with it, they used to all spend so much time in there together (thinking like my family's den in the old house) but she hasn't been in the room in over a year, plus AGAIN IT IS LOCKED, so she's really not sure. but she can't get it out of her head, she even tries the doorknob etc
- then mom's heading to work (where does mom work? who knows) and she and Jane get in a fight, not sure exactly how it starts etc but it ends up being about dad and all the things they don't talk about and just EVERYTHING, mom says something horrible but possibly true (maybe just "he's never coming back" or whatever) and storms out, and Jane is so angry and upset that she breaks into the office (how? who knows) and finds her mother's research and her mother's attempts to find her father and these things about changelings etc etc (there might be HINTS here that Jane could be a changeling but I think we're not actually ever going to confirm that) and internally is like *dial-up internet screeching sounds* and high-tails it out to the beach
- and goes to her job and takes a boat and sails/kayaks/motorboats/whatever right out into the waves not even really knowing what she means to do except maybe scream for her father until he surfaces bc now she's SURE he disappeared into the ocean
- [enter A STORM]
- and then the end happens just like I planned BOOM LOOK AT ALL THIS
I also lowkey started over, but I'm recycling a lot of what I wrote before; it just has to be rejiggered so it fits the shiny new ~plot~
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