"I'm not--" Ky decided denial wasn't going to get her any mercy whatsoever. She swallowed hard. "I am aware that my actions were unacceptable and I am prepared to accept the consequences of them."
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"There will be consequences," she said with a nod. "Nothing so dramatic as what you might be thinking. Gaius will be fine, but you have breached his trust, Ky. He takes time to heal from something like that. You should have consulted him before going into personal history like that. Why did you do it?"
"I’m thinking about the aurora borealis. You can’t tell if it really does exist or if it just looks like existing. All things are so very uncertain, and that’s exactly what makes me feel reassured." --Too-Ticky
Ky's chest was so tight it was painful, and it only got worse as guilt stabbed through it.
"I..." She took a deep breath. She had yet to come up with an answer to that question that didn't sound childish. Because she'd been childish. And sneaky. And terrible. But she had to at least try an answer that didn't try to shift the blame off herself. "Let my curiosity get the better of me when I should not have."
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"That's an excuse for a lot of things, Ky. I'm asking why specifically you wanted to read these journals."
"I’m thinking about the aurora borealis. You can’t tell if it really does exist or if it just looks like existing. All things are so very uncertain, and that’s exactly what makes me feel reassured." --Too-Ticky
Ky let out a little sigh, unable to look her in the eyes.
"I want to understand..." She gestured vaguely. "I'm constantly upsetting people and I don't know why or how to do better because I don't understand what I keep doing wrong. I thought if I knew a bit more about what happened it would... I don't know what I thought. I thought it would help. But it most certainly didn't and I wish I hadn't... but I did."
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"What did you read?" Sera asked her, leaning forward.
"I’m thinking about the aurora borealis. You can’t tell if it really does exist or if it just looks like existing. All things are so very uncertain, and that’s exactly what makes me feel reassured." --Too-Ticky
"I read most of the last one. And part of the one before that." Ky's face was burning with embarrassment. This was a probe to find out what she had found out. "I read about him attacking all three of them at once, but I don't know what he did. Just that it hurt them all very badly... and..." she cringed. "The pig game."
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
Sera opened her mouth to ask a question, then shut it again and closed her eyes for a moment. "357 to 359," she said finally. "And you didn't read any further?"
"I’m thinking about the aurora borealis. You can’t tell if it really does exist or if it just looks like existing. All things are so very uncertain, and that’s exactly what makes me feel reassured." --Too-Ticky
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"Good." She rested her elbows on her knees. "I have no doubt that you regret what you did and that you won't do it again. Gaius did task me with finding suitable consequences and frankly, I think your own guilt will likely do a number on you. So I'm going to say that you're banned from the library for the next two weeks, but that's all. Okay? Gaius can bring it up with me if he finds that unsatisfactory."
"I’m thinking about the aurora borealis. You can’t tell if it really does exist or if it just looks like existing. All things are so very uncertain, and that’s exactly what makes me feel reassured." --Too-Ticky
“Two weeks?” She blinked, outraged, and shook her head. “No, I— I deserve much worse— I can’t… you can’t… that… that’s not enough.”
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"You read something that nobody strictly told you you couldn't read," Sera said patiently. "Gaius elected not to move the diaries because he trusted you. The only thing you're really being punished for is not asking before you read them. It would be worse for you if he'd said no and you read them anyway."
"I’m thinking about the aurora borealis. You can’t tell if it really does exist or if it just looks like existing. All things are so very uncertain, and that’s exactly what makes me feel reassured." --Too-Ticky
Ky cringed at the 'trusted you' comment, but nodded. It wasn't her place to argue with Sera's decision. Somehow it felt like it'd be easier to stomach a too-harsh punishment without argument than it was this one. She'd simply have to find a way to punish herself.
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"Are you doing alright?" Sera asked her. "If you need, I can answer...questions."
"I’m thinking about the aurora borealis. You can’t tell if it really does exist or if it just looks like existing. All things are so very uncertain, and that’s exactly what makes me feel reassured." --Too-Ticky
Gods. What a miserable rat she was. Baiting Sera into comforting her when she was the transgressor here... and yet. She did have questions.
"...Do you have any suggestions for how I can make this right?" Ky asked. "I know that a 'sorry' isn't going to cut it and that it'll take time, but... I do want him to know I genuinely regret it. I'm not just sorry I got caught."
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
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