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Young Writers Society


Hands of Time



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83 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 709
Reviews: 83
Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:32 pm
*singerofthenight* says...



Hands of Time:

Verse 1:
Drift away,
into that secret place
and close your eyes.
Imagine me beside you on this night.
Can you feel this love between us,
Or, Baby, is it just me?

Chorus:
Oh, I just wanna be close to you,
Feel your heart beat next to mine.
Baby, in this moment here with you,
It's like, we're caught in the hands of time.

Verse 2:
Hold me close,
and never let me go.
Just talk to me,
Can you see us side by side,
Forever Baby,
forever well be one.

Chorus.
Oh, I just wanna be close to you,
Feel yor hart beat next to mine.
Baby, in this moment here wuth you,
It's like, we're caught in the hands of time.

Bridge:
We don't need to let go of this moment,
This is all we've got.
Cause when the dawn breaks in the mornin'
It might be our last shot!

Repeat chorus 2x.

Fade out with hands of time...


*I know, still a work in progress guys, but advice would be lovely!!!

Thanks,
Rynaey<3
Last edited by *singerofthenight* on Wed Sep 07, 2011 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Hello, is this thing on?"
  





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403 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 23786
Reviews: 403
Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:57 pm
SmylinG says...



Hi :mrgreen:

So I don't usually review song lyrics. I don't feel like I really have that big of a knack for putting songs together and knowing if things are catchy or not, or if they're workable with music. But this seemed to me like something I wouldn't mind reviewing despite this.

For one, I can appreciate how you actually have this laid out in the format of actual song lyrics. When I see lyrics posted on YWS, they aren't normally laid out that cleanly. There's two verses, a chorus, and a bridge here. So well done! I use to have a friend who wrote and sang her own music, and her notebooks always looked something like this.

As for the actual content now, I like to think I can give a good honest opinion. So I'll try my best. Overall it seemed very short, despite you repeating the chorus in places and such. I guess personally I like to see more depth in music, but there are those few instances where a song I like isn't necessarily very long at all. In fact, I've heard songs that are much shorter than this here, so length shouldn't be that huge of a problem really. The content was pretty vague, but it had its point as well. It was pretty catchy I think. Nice job on it.

I had a few nitpicks consisting of grammatical errors and whatnot. But then again I usually do when reviewing. x)

Its like, we(')re caught in the hands of time.


Forever Baby, forever we(')ll be one.


Well, that's pretty much it I think. Nice work on the song. I can say that and feel honest about it because I've never tried a shot at writing a song of my own! So I don't know how much work it actually takes, but I can guess.

-Smylin'
Paul is my little, evil, yellow bundle of joy.
  





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46 Reviews



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Points: 908
Reviews: 46
Fri Sep 09, 2011 6:52 am
SteppinRazor says...



Damn this is a romantic son and I love it. Seems like the person is on cloud nine and honestly who wouldn't want to feel this way. I hope to read more of your lyrics and hear it sung one day!

Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad
Down down down down
  





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Points: 265
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Fri Sep 09, 2011 11:18 am
tamtam97 says...



that would make a pretty song <3
  





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83 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 709
Reviews: 83
Fri Sep 09, 2011 7:41 pm
*singerofthenight* says...



Check it out on youtube XD Im actually singing the song(: Ill post a link
"Hello, is this thing on?"
  





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121 Reviews



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Points: 113
Reviews: 121
Sun Sep 25, 2011 2:52 pm
SakuraFallsSweetly♥ says...



Awh I love it it's so romantic. =] The chorus is really sweet.

Maybe you could extend the verses though,
Unless you are one of those who have choppy short songs, to make it more catchy or whatever.

It was good though, nice work. =]

The only true failure, is when you give up. ♥
  





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28 Reviews



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Points: 240
Reviews: 28
Sun Sep 25, 2011 2:56 pm
Gamergirl says...



This is really cute. However for me some of the lines didn't really give off a good rhythm as the others did. It's really sweat and romantic. I agree that it seemed to short. Could use some more verses. But that's just my view :D
"Is the glass half empty? Or half full?"

"Well, if I turn on the tap I can make it full!" ~ me.
  








"What is a poet? An unhappy person who hides deep anguish in his heart, but whose lips are so formed that when the sigh and cry pass through them, it sounds like lovely music."
— Søren Kierkegaard, Philosopher & Theologian