Young Writers Society

This was a song I submitted for a contest (not on YWS) and I figured I wanted some advice from some writers as well as from some non-writers (because the contest wasn't judged by writers). I know it doesn't rhyme except for during some parts, and I know it's not exactly flowly. Please don't comment on my grammar because it's a song and in my opinion in songs and poems grammar is a choice, and I choose not to have it. Enjoy and please comment!

I was always the outcast,
Always picked last
But when you came around
I suddenly had someone to test
The time spent as being your best friend,
Was the best time I’ve ever had
I could always count on you being there for me
Yes, we fought almost every day,
But I just might have liked you more than you thought
I know I liked him,
More than you’ll ever know,
And you were always second place,
But that didn’t mean I ever wanted you to go

Chorus:
And now I’m standing here
Acting like I don’t care
But somewhere deep down I’m hurt
We were best friends,
Everything didn’t turn out as planned,
But I still had some feelings for you
I was never willing to admit
Sure I liked him,
But it was complicated
And those complications
Turned into this

Those fights soon turned into something much more
Than I could handle
He came around and ruined everything
I’m still trying to figure out
Why you chose him over me
I’m still trying to understand
The brighter side of things
Everyone told us we would date
I never shot them down
And sometimes I even believed what they said
We always got through our fights,
But that one just wouldn’t do
We were best friends,
And you suddenly casted me out like I was dirt on your shoe
It made me very upset
I know I always liked him more,
But did it ever occur to you,
I didn’t want you to go?

Chorus

It’s been over a year
Things have changed
I have new crushes,
Although none of them were my best friend
I just found out
You’re engaged
It’s kind of crazy to think we were about to date
The girl is my old best friend,
We’ve since decided to end
And now I must admit this hurts me a little inside
My two best friends cast me aside
And now she has what I didn’t take
I don’t like you anymore,
But sometimes thinking about it makes my head sore
You guys aren’t getting along,
That’s kind of sad
I hope someday you’ll find someone
That makes you glad

Chorus

I hope someday we meet again
I’ll never forget anything you said
I’ll never forget how we almost went on that date
Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be that way
Perhaps everything happens the way it’s intended
Perhaps none of this was meant for me
I’ll never forget you or my first love
A girl never forgets a thing,
Like a crush

Chorus

Very nice lyrics! I can really relate to this because I act like I don't care often, but it really bothers me.

The chorus is my favorite part. I feel like it describes the song the best because of the use of words you used. Also, kudos to you for not being too repetitve. That's very common in songs and it honestly bores me. I really enjoyed reading your work and I'm looking forward to your other pieces! Keep up the good work.

Re: Acting Like I Don't Care

New postby keekers11 on Tue Aug 30, 2011 5:21 am
Very nice lyrics! I can really relate to this because I act like I don't care often, but it really bothers me.

The chorus is my favorite part. I feel like it describes the song the best because of the use of words you used. Also, kudos to you for not being too repetitve. That's very common in songs and it honestly bores me. I really enjoyed reading your work and I'm looking forward to your other pieces! Keep up the good work.

I totally agree