Young Writers Society

Shadows surround me
I can’t see where I want to be
But I know, I sure know
You are who I want to see
But there is pain, and there are lies
And my heart aches
To see your smile again
‘Cause boy, it’s been so long…

I wanna see you smile
I wanna hear you laugh
I wanna know that you’re ok
And you need to know
That things will get better
You need to learn how to live again

I don’t have the words to make things better
All I have is my heart, but that’s already yours, my love
I feel so helpless watching you go through this
Just tell me what to do
To be there for you

Coz I wanna see you smile
I wanna hear you laugh
I wanna know that you’re ok
And I want you to know
That things will get better
You need to learn how to live again

Poison, regrets
Be rid of all this hate
Coz I know, yeah I know
Hate is a mistake
So learn to love so you can learn to live
And all will be ok
Let go, but don’t forget
The past is how we give

I wanna see that crooked smile!
I wanna hear that funny laugh…
I wanna know, I wanna be sure as hell, you’re fine
'Cause boy, if you're mine
You better friggen smile

The shadows are clearing
I can see you again
And I know, I sure know
We can make it through this pain
We’ll beat these liars
My heart no longer aches
Coz there you are
Your smile’s no longer fake

that was pretty amazing i liked the flow of it and where he story led you know how to keep the rythm going and that right there shows potential

very good

Helloo Bunnie that isn't dead! XD
I'm going to try to give you a good review and forgive me if I'm not helpful at all
I really like this song and the feelings you've captured in it. I have a few little nitpicks though:

Cause I wanna see you smile

Cause I know, yeah I know

So learn to love so you can learn to live

I think it would sound better if you'd let out the first 'So'.

The shadows are clearing
I can see you again
And I know, I sure know
We can make it through this pain
We’ll beat these liars
My heart no longer aches
Cause there you are
Your smile’s no longer fake

I really love the end!

I really enjoyed reading this and I hope this helped a little =)
-qaralynn-

It wasn't bad not at all, there was voice, I did get a little confused and there was a verse or two that was a little too mushy for my taste, but I did like the feel and the emotion of it