z

Young Writers Society


A song I wrote



User avatar



Gender: None specified
Points: 300
Reviews: 0
Fri Dec 02, 2005 1:30 am
~*~*~*~SOX~*~*~*~ says...



I hope this fits into this section. I'm so new to this site! Anyways, I hope u like it!!


"For Losing You"

By Me


I woke up today
I sat there and prayed,
for the moon to fall and sun to shine again
After all that one could take,
no wonder this heartbreak
Slowly ate away at me inside

Oh, I don't see how I still live
And I cant find my mind
For losing you


My soul left my body
For losing you
My heart slowly shattered
For losing you
Now I scream and I shout
I'm always filled with doubt
And my world keeps on spinning
For losing you



At first I thought we could have allot
Never suspecting our world to tumble
But then came those words and,
we were through
I never meant that much to you


My soul left my body
For losing you
My heart slowly shattered
For losing you
Now I scream and I shout
I'm always filled with doubt
And my world keeps on spinning
For losing you


Now that all that's through, I Realized I don't need you
I know I don't need to life my life with the same damned thing
But thinking back at the times we shared, i know now that there was something there
And now I truly hate
I hate myself for loosing you


My soul left my body
For losing you
My heart slowly shattered
For losing you
Now I scream and I shout
I'm always filled with doubt
And my world keeps on spinning
For losing you
  





User avatar
266 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Male
Points: 1726
Reviews: 266
Fri Dec 02, 2005 1:42 am
backgroundbob says...



I hope this fits into this section.

Strike one! It goes in the 'Lyrics' section.

But never fear: the ever-attentive mods will soon by on hand to move it.
The Oneday Cafe
though we do not speak, we are by no means silent.
  





User avatar
665 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6165
Reviews: 665
Fri Dec 02, 2005 4:30 pm
Chevy says...



Ok, I'm not a moderator over the Lyric Poetry section but it hadn't been done yet sooo I hope the mods over that section won't mind.

Anyway, very nice song...rather Ashlee Simpson/Carrie Underwood/Kelly Clarkson like. And by your icon I'm pretty sure you wouldn't mind that.
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.
  





Random avatar


Gender: None specified
Points: 1245
Reviews: 142
Fri Mar 11, 2011 11:35 pm
lele253isme says...



I really like these lyrics and I think that they can be improved a little bit, but only a little because I believe in keeping the original lyrics. I love that. Are you interested in songwriting?
  





User avatar
12 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 1058
Reviews: 12
Sat Mar 12, 2011 3:21 am
crestfallen says...



It was okay, I didn't care much for the parts in which you'd say "For losing you" it just didn't seem proper to use "for" when you could have used "from". Also the word "a lot" is two separate words. You had it spelled as "allot" which is incorrect.
  





Random avatar


Gender: None specified
Points: 1245
Reviews: 142
Mon May 09, 2011 3:17 pm
lele253isme says...



I love these lyrics, very good and beautiful rhythm. I could just hear the song forming in my head. that's mostly because I want to be a songwriter.
  





User avatar
319 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 9100
Reviews: 319
Sun May 15, 2011 7:19 am
Jashael says...



Hi, dearie. Please edit your post and put For Losing You in the subject title, kay? =)

I hope this fits into this section. I'm so new to this site! Anyways, I hope u like it!!





"For Losing You"



By Me





I woke up today

I sat there and prayed,

for the moon to fall and sun to shine again

After all that one could take,

no wonder this heartbreak

Slowly ate away at me inside



Oh, I don't see how I still live

And I cant find my mind

For losing you





My soul left my body

For losing you

My heart slowly shattered

For losing you

Now I scream and I shout

I'm always filled with doubt

And my world keeps on spinning

For losing you







At first I thought we could have a lot

Never suspecting our world to tumble

But then came those words and,

we were through

I never meant that much to you





My soul left my body

For losing you

My heart slowly shattered

For losing you

Now I scream and I shout

I'm always filled with doubt

And my world keeps on spinning

For losing you





Now that all that's through, I Realized I don't need you

I know I don't need to life my life with the same damned thing

But thinking back at the times we shared, I know now that there was something there

And now I truly hate

I hate myself for loosing you





My soul left my body

For losing you

My heart slowly shattered

For losing you

Now I scream and I shout

I'm always filled with doubt

And my world keeps on spinning

For losing you


I just wasn't that sure with the "for losing you" lines... but whatever. [LOL] Ignore me. OK, there was one thing I couldn't just make any sense with.

I know I don't need to life my life with the same damned thing


There we go. The life part. You used life as a verb(?). That's my only problem. The rest was good. KEEP WRITING!

CSI Jash ♥
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen:
not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”


—C.S. LEWIS


My SPOTIFY page
Facebook
Got a life?
  








I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
— Steven Wright