Young Writers Society

First, a bit about myself. I'm 17 years old and currently living in Texas. It's really flat here. There's honestly not that much to do. With that brief introduction, I usually come up with these lyrics with a specific melody in mind as I write them. This usually ends up in them being pretty horrible by lyrical standards, as I have difficulty remembering any part of the melody after sitting down and writing it all out. This is the first time I've thrown any of this stuff up for criticism, but it is definitely not my first time on the internet. Be as cruel, rigid, and unforgiving as you like. I say this in jest, of course, because from what I've gleaned off of lurking this place the past few weeks or so, you're all really nice people. And with me being practically born and raised on internet hate machine, I doubt there's anything you could say that would truly, really dampen my spirits (aww look at this hardcore texas teenager f*ck yeah doesn't take crap from nobody).

Finally, I apologize if the format is off. This arrangement (as with many of my others) doesn't have a formal chorus. If anything, the only part I would be able to point out would be the bridge, where the pacing shifts considerably ("Well I ran down..."). If there's any way I can change this and any other future arrangements I post to be easier on the eyes, whether that be lyrically or in the way they happen to be posted, please feel free to let me know. With this, I click submit and hope you like it.


I've given in to doubting and
I've given in to running and
I've given in to texting in
The wee hours of the morning girl
but
All that aside, I'm hoping you might find
Maybe one good reason, love,
That's all I'll ever need

I know I'm self-absorbed,
aware I'm narcissistic
and
All that I'm ever good for
has been talking sweet to you
I've never been one to beg, girl
But I haven't been in bed, girl
Cause pacing, racing, thoughts I'm making
keep me wide awake.

Well I ran down to the bus stop last night,
Figured out they do not run past twelve.
I gave a man my money, he took it, it's alright
Cause I knew I had to save you from myself
Oh, no, no, no

I got back to my home,
it was a quarter past three.
And who else do I find
would have gone and said to me
"Oh don't waste your time,
you blew it, it's all over,
and I hate you
and you've changed,
and don't you try to cover
for the way that you acted
to that poor other girl."

I tried to call you then,
I tried to call you there,
I'd imagine that the signal's
tangled up inside your hair
cause God knows that it got me,
it pulled me to the root.
I could say that I'm just a boy,
but that is no excuse.

Its really hard to judge them without the melody you had in mind. The words seem good and I can kind of get a picture of what you felt when writing this. I wouldn't call this a poor effort or a bad job, but its hard to judge lyrics without the music. Music + Lyrics = Song. Without one of them it just doesn't give a good picture. But none-the-less, I commend you for the lyrics, Keep Writing!

Okay, so I'm gonna start by saying that I know next to nothing about lyrics or music (I've tried at it a couple times but I know enough about myself to say that I'm really bad at it). However, I think this is worth looking at again and maybe even trying to put it to a melody even if you can't remember the one you started off with. As for my critique, I think if you do think about working on this again that you should add a chorus. In doing that the lyrics tighter (if that makes any sense) or come together more.
But, with what you have now I feel the emotion in it and I that's a big part of writing. I hope that helps.

Its really hard to judge them without the melody you had in mind. The words seem good and I can kind of get a picture of what you felt when writing this. I wouldn't call this a poor effort or a bad job, but its hard to judge lyrics without the music. Music + Lyrics = Song. Without one of them it just doesn't give a good picture. But none-the-less, I commend you for the lyrics, Keep Writing!

With all respect that is the dumbest thing I ever heard. Sorry, if that sounds harsh, but it isn't hard judgeing song lyrics without music...it's quite simple because you're judging just the lyrics. When reading you can decide how it may sound yourself in your head...or just simply not imagine any music at all but see how well the lyrics flow.

Anyway, I liked this lyrical work. I didn't really care too much for the introduction part..that wasn't really necessarily. Other than that it was very well written.