Young Writers Society

Don't play me like a gameboard
Don't use me like a walking stick
That's not what I'm meant for
I'm supposed to be for light.
Instead, you used me to hurt
You hurt me
And put on my cone of shame.
Now nobody sees my light,
All they see is the outer fabric.
Anyone who feels sorry, you tell them

Chorus:
Why would you hug a skinny little stick like her?
Why would you want a hard, metal pole like her?
Just leave her alone let her stay rickety
And she'll hide 'neath her lamp shade forever.

That's not all, no it's not
You didn't even bother to make the cloth pretty.
And you found me a spot,
In a corner where nobody bothers to reach me.
Why did you use me like that?
I will never understand.
My once-bright bulb flickers,
And finally cracked.
After a while I understood what you meant.

Chorus

(Overlapping background voices with lead singer vocalizing ad lib)
And hide beneath her lampshade,
Stuck in a corner,
Just letting her light fade,
Stuck in a corner
(x4)

Chorus: (x2)
Why would you hug a skinny little stick like me?
Why would you want a hard, metal pole like me?
Just leave me alone let me stay rickety
And I'll hide 'neath my lamp shade forever.

Overlapping all voices: Forever, forever forever...etc. (fade)

Howdy there!

This is really good.

It's pretty amazing what you can manage to make some lyrics out of. In fact this was surprisingly good for the task! It dpesn't sound easy to do but you did it great!

Just one little thing, although you did state when it was the chorus etc, maybe leave a line gap in between just to make it look clearer and so it is set out in the style of lyrics.

Other than that well done, I'd love to see you tackle another one of these tasks!

Awww. I really feel for the speaker in this song. You did well with putting a lot of emotion into your writing--and with lampshade as a prompt--! Fantastic job.

I'm a little confused on the rhythm. At the very beginning, I think you're going to have a certain meter.....and then along comes "I'm supposed to be for light." There's nothing wrong with it--it's a good line--it just threw me off.

And oh, hey! The spacing is fixed in this format. Interesting.

What I mean is that when I was reading it, the chorus wasn't really separated from the verses and the lines looked to be double-spaced, but here everything looks fine. The spacing is correct, everything's fine..... maybe you fixed it? I'll check back, and that's not the case, I'll report it to the "Report a Site Bug" thread.

Overall, great job! This was very enjoyable to read--thanks for posting!

I like it alot, at least the feeling, but I think the metaphor is a little heavy. A little less of the metaphor but other wise I really like it.