Young Writers Society

I wrote this in, like, two minutes.

Edit: I CAN'T GET RID OF THE DOUBLE-SPACED LINES.


Hello!
How are you?
What's your name?


I think I know you,
Do you think the same?


What is this feeling?
It's like meeting an old friend
For the very first time


I don't know what should go here,
Sometimes it's hard to make things rhyme


Something goes here
Rousing, and moving


And now, it descends
It's soft and soothing


What is this thing we call a song?
I think it's possible
That I did something wrong…..




Yeah.

Hahaha oh you make me laugh ;P
I thought this was very funny! I've tried to make a poem about absolutely nothing and failed miserably but I think you did great, which takes some talent XD

Something goes here
Rousing, and moving

And now, it descends
It's soft and soothing

What is this thing we call a song?
I think it's possible
That I did something wrong…..

I laugh every time I read that. It's just so funny and clever! I love it. If I could like this eight times, then I would. But sadly, I cannot. Now for some nitpicks:

Hello!
How are you? I think you should combine the first and second lines. The majority of this poem has two line stanzas, and I think that if you kept it that way, it would seem to flow better.
What is your name?

I think I know you,
Do you think the same?

What is this feeling?
Like seeing a friend for the very first time.

I'm not sure what should go here,
Sometimes it's hard to make things rhyme[period]

Something goes here [semicolon]
Rousing, and moving[period]

And now, it descends[semicolon]
It's soft and soothing[period[

What is this thing we call a song?
I think it's possible
That I did something wrong….. Again, since most of the poem is two line stanzas, I would combine the second and third line.

I hope I helped! :3

I like it...in an odd sort of way. It is funny, yet serious. Fast yet, slow.

~FW~

Well this was fun to read! Very interesting, is all I think I will say. Take it as you want it

Hello!

How are you?

What's your name?



I think I know you,

Do you think the same? I love this beginning. It sets the friendly mood, and it put a smile across my face.



What is this feeling?

It's like meeting an old friend

For the very first time.



I don't know what should go here,

Sometimes it's hard to make things rhyme. This kind of interrupts the flow by jumping from a lost friend to not knowing what to rhyme with next.



Something goes here,

Rousing, and moving.



And now, it descends,

Soft and soothing
I just think it sounds better this way


What is this thing we call a song?

I think it's possible

That I did something wrong…..

lol


So just some punctuation and wording, but great work!

Hey, Dearie. To get rid of the double-spaced lines, you click edit, then scroll down a bit, choose Poem, and voila! :3 Easy.

Hello!

How are you?

What's your name?



I think I know you,

Do you think the same?



What is this feeling?

It's like meeting an old friend

For the very first time



I don't know what should go here,

Sometimes it's hard to make things rhyme



Something goes here

Rousing, and moving



And now, it descends

It's soft and soothing



What is this thing we call a song?

I think it's possible

That I did something wrong…..





Yeah.

and since only wrote this in two minutes, guess wow.

I'm going to disagree with the previous reviewers. Punctuations doesn't matter much in these kinds of lyrics. It was fast, and easy to understand. Period. I like it, dearie. And oh boy! I can't do anything like this myself.

This is my favorite line:

It's like meeting an old friend

For the very first time

Oh, I don't know why. Maybe it's because I know that feeling?


CSI Jash ♥

animekaratepup wrote:I wrote this in, like, two minutes.

Edit: I CAN'T GET RID OF THE DOUBLE-SPACED LINES.


Hello!
How are you?
What's your name?


I think I know you,
Do you think the same?


What is this feeling?
It's like meeting an old friend
For the very first time


I don't know what should go here,
Sometimes it's hard to make things rhyme


Something goes here
Rousing, and moving


And now, it descends
It's soft and soothing


What is this thing we call a song?
I think it's possible
That I did something wrong…..




Yeah.

Pup, minimalism is attractive. It's a damn hard style and even more frustrating in execution after the fact. So pup, what have you got here?

A cute conversation and a little brunch for friends. Nice, if you like thin messages. There are once again decent lines here between nonsensical jargon that thinks it's communicating soo well. But it's not, and instead it's
just making noise.

Lyrics are a process, beat, and rhythm in mainly oral aspects. No, it's not for simply written aspect
s. As a lyricist, your job is to view both the spoken and accompaniment, then view it as well in how easily it can be sung and pronounced. Plus what is the style to be sung.....etc.

You still need diction here. You still need cohesion. You need to tie questions with how it would be sung.