Young Writers Society

I've heard enough
Get out, and run
Don't look back now
Coz I'll be gone

Give me my heart
I don't care if its in parts.

Coz even this grey city
Has more to offer me
Than what you gave
So I'm run-ing a-way...

Dark trees, black paint
Soft echoes
Fading away.
This path is too long
Where do I belong?

At least these clouds
Know how
To let go
But I'm run-ing a-way...

Rolling hills
Desolate Islands
Moonlit rivers with no boats
Coz they've floated a-way.

And these deep waters
Don't know
How to lie.

But I was blinded
By your fakery
When all it was,
Was hurtful treachery

Oh oh, there is hope
At the end of the tunnel
But I,
Can’t see it now.

I’ve heard enough
Get out and take your stuff
Don’t look back now
Coz I’ll be crying
By the wayside
Again...

(Sorry about the odd spacing...it looks fine on the draft but when I submit it, it just goes all funny) xXx

Great lyrics! Kind of sounds like 'Run Away', by Linkin Park
I love the imagery of use, especially the 'heart', second paragraph

A few things:

"Oh oh, there is hope" I think one "oh" is enough

"When all it was,
Was hurtful treachery" the repetition of "was" isn't too good. Try something like; "When it was nothing but" or "When all you gave me was..."

"I don't care if its in parts." 'shards' would be more elegant, don't you think?


Just wondering: is this some sort of a dialog? Cause song goes :"get out and take your stuff, get out and run" and then "I'm running away"?
Just curious

I think the "oh" makes more sense if you heard it, more like an Ooo << broken into two notes, but I wrote it as "Oh, oh" which, to read, would sound a bit odd. Yeah I had my doubts about the double "was" so I agree with you there. And yes "shards" is a more sophisticated word. And the last point...I'm not even sure my self to be honest haha. I think she's telling him to leave because she's angry but she doesn't really need to because she's running away herself. She just wants everyone/everything to leave I guess.
Thankyou for commenting xXx

Hiya! First impression is that this is a little short for lyrics and maybe you should think about a chorus? Most lyrics have them and I find that they help to make a song more memorable so it's worth considering.

I've heard enough
Get out, and run
Don't look back now
Coz I'll be gone

Give me my heart <<<[This feels like a big jump from the first set of lines and sort of comes out of nowhere. First she'd saying she'll be gone and then she's demanding he give her heart back. Maybe is should be something like 'Send me my heart/ I'm on the road/ but you can reach me by the phone. Give me my heart,/ I don't care if it's in parts.' with the last note as a long hold?]
I don't care if its in parts.

Coz even this grey city
Has more to offer me
Than what you gave
So I'm run-ing a-way...
Dark trees, black paint
Soft echoes
Fading away. <<<[I'm liking this section so far. In fact the whole of this verse is pretty good.]
This path is too long
Where do I belong?
At least these clouds
Know how
To let go
But I'm run-ing a-way...
Rolling hills
Desolate Islands
Moonlit rivers with no boats
Coz they've floated a-way.

And these deep waters
Don't know
How to lie. <<<[Nice, rather catchy.]
But I was blinded
By your fakery
When all it was,
Was hurtful treachery
Oh oh, there is hope
At the end of the tunnel <<<[Not sure if I like this. You should try not to rely on cliches.]
But I,
Can’t see it now.
I’ve heard enough
Get out and take your stuff <<<[Uh wait... she's the one that's left so why is she telling him to get out and leave his stuff? You need to be consistent so that the lyrics flow!]
Don’t look back now
Coz I’ll be crying
By the wayside
Again... <<<[I think the ending could be stronger.]

Hopefully that will help you a little

Oh it does have a chorus, the tune/melody is the same on these parts:

Coz even this grey city
Has more to offer me
Than what you gave
So I'm run-ing a-way...

At least these clouds
Know how
To let go
But I'm run-ing a-way...

But yeah the lyrics probably need to be more similar so as to emphasise this, however it would be a tad more obvious if you heard it, but agreed.

Haha and yeah I know it makes no sense...maybe it represents her confusion? Telling him to leave and run away perhaps...meh it could be possible. But true it does through the storyline off track a little. And I pretty much agree with everything you said Thankyouuu xXx

Hi again!

For some reason I say this almost every time. I was confused. I don't really understand what the message in this song was. I honestly don't even have a clue. The lyrics sounded good, but I don't really get what you were trying to say.

Nice job though.

You took a cliche topic and made it sound good. It reminds me a little but of "Long Gone" by Lady Antebellum, but your song is still unique. I enjoyed it.

I agree to whomever mentioned about the song not making any sense. I had a real hard time understanding what the song is about. But some portions of it were good.