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Young Writers Society


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Fri Apr 01, 2011 8:16 am
Navita says...



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Last edited by Navita on Sun May 01, 2011 12:56 am, edited 2 times in total.
  





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Fri Apr 01, 2011 8:20 am
Jagged says...



Hello. I will be stalking this thread now kthxbai. I hope you have no objections.
Lumi: they stand no chance against the JAG SAFETY BLANKET
  





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Fri Apr 01, 2011 7:23 pm
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Kylan says...



So damn good. I could feel some serious Plath there near the end. Great opening. I want to hear you slam this poem on a stage. I'll be back with more telegraphic sentences about this poem if April stops throttling me.

Kylan
"I am beginning to despair
and can see only two choices:
either go crazy or turn holy."

- Serenade, Adélia Prado
  





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Sat Apr 02, 2011 4:51 am
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Navita says...



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Last edited by Navita on Sun May 01, 2011 12:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Sat Apr 02, 2011 9:54 am
bubblewrapped says...



Beautiful, as usual. Am also stalking this thread now XD
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)
  





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Sat Apr 02, 2011 11:22 pm
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Navita says...



.
Last edited by Navita on Sun May 01, 2011 12:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Sat Apr 02, 2011 11:35 pm
Kamas says...



You're wonderful.
"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world - not even our troubles." ~ Charles Chaplin

#tnt
  





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Sun Apr 03, 2011 4:38 pm
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Firestarter says...



#1 is sumptuous.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.
  





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Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:52 am
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Kylan says...



I enjoyed them all, but my favorite other than the first is "Cast". It spoke to me most quickly, and most poignantly. The first two lines are funny, and of course, humor is the best way to tell a sad story. But this is not a story per se -- rather, it is a poem with a complex philosophy about it. It almost seems to me that this is a response to our conversation on formalism. Obviously, the creation of a child is an act of partnership, similar to the creation of a piece of literature. According to the formalists, a poem is created twice, born again, once by the author, for his own purposes and once by the reader, for his own purposes also. Lines 3-6 is puzzlement over authorial intention, what we intend to imbue into our art, but which is only a hope, an irrelevance, as it is up to the reader-parent to "make" it the second time. You talk about spines and hearts, being malformed, perhaps miscommunicated, or perhaps the malformation is a relative matter. This is a child after all, and it will be beautiful to someone. But this is where you transition. The closing lines smacks the ball out of the park, and it is no longer about literature (if it was at all). I am reminded here of East of Eden, in which Adam, having lived in a daze for the last 11 years, suddenly discovers his children as people, fully fledged human beings. We become aware of others, and then become aware of ourselves. After creating other people (because, from a solipsistic point of view, that's what we're doing with our day to day interactions), interpreting another human being as one might interpret a poem, we put ourselves into perspective, having populated our world with other selves -- friends, family, enemies.

Kylan
"I am beginning to despair
and can see only two choices:
either go crazy or turn holy."

- Serenade, Adélia Prado
  





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Mon Apr 04, 2011 6:36 am
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Navita says...



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Last edited by Navita on Sun May 01, 2011 12:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Mon Apr 04, 2011 8:09 am
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Navita says...



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Last edited by Navita on Sun May 01, 2011 12:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:26 am
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Navita says...



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Last edited by Navita on Sun May 01, 2011 12:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:40 am
Jasmine Hart says...



"Cut"

Hi Navita,

It's good to read you again. This is really wonderful. It flows perfectly, I love the effect of the stanzas and your use of half-rhyme to create a sense of echoing. The last lines are particularly powerful. The tone is strong throughout and works very well. I particularly enjoyed the first full stanza.

A pleasure, as always.
Jas
"Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise."
-Maya Angelou
  





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Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:06 am
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Navita says...



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Last edited by Navita on Sun May 01, 2011 12:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:48 pm
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Navita says...



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Last edited by Navita on Sun May 01, 2011 12:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
  








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