Young Writers Society

Alright, so I'm having a go at this. I know it'll be stupid but whatever. I'm no poet and everyone knows that.

Wednesday

Living with anxiety is a horrible way to live.
Day in, day out, that fear accompanies you--
To the bus stop, in the halls, in class, at lunch, everywhere's there's people

It's not something that magically goes away
It takes effort and inner strength that you never knew you had
It takes patience and an "I can do this" attitude

Every week, I go to therapy
To be dissected
and to learn ways I can get better

Every day, I struggle with fears that are hard to control,
I fight my brain and my body to keep going,
To keep fighting that inner battle it sometimes seems that I'm the only one fighting

I try to take things one day at a time
"Just get through this class, everything'll be fine,"
I reassure myself and try to stay positive.

By the end of a school day--or by doing anything on my goal list--
I'm exhausted,
headachy, and just wanting to relax

I'll fight this same battle
Over and over again
Until,
One day,
I'll become the victor

You need not comment on how horrible this is; I wrote it in six minutes. Tomorrow's should be better, I hope.

Once again, it's horrible. There's not enough hours in the day, it seems.

Tuesday:

Every morning is the same thing,
people with their friends,
happy and fitting in.

Gabby and Ethan hang out every morning on the bus
Talking about her current boyfriend or his current girlfriend
I tag along once we get off the bus,
just so that I'm not walking alone.

Kayla and Zach are almost attached at the hip
I see them and wave
She waves back and leaves me by my own again.

Gigi, Kristin, and Nikki are all really close
We all hang out every morning
But they tend to ignore me once we all are at the meeting place.

Where do I fit it?
Where's that happy feeling of feeling like I belong?
Where is it?
Tell me.
Why can't I belong?

A rather angry poem for today...

Friday

Is this funny to you?
A girl rocking because she's scared
Scared of you.

Is it funny
that the girl resists the urge to run the other way
Every time she sees you in the hallway?

Is it funny
that the girl has a whole list of "scary people"
All of whom are your friends?

Is it funny
that the girl has taken everything you've said/written to her
To heart?

Is it funny
that you've broken this girl's heart a few times
And she still manages to care anyway?

[That was suppossed to be longer and more angsty but it's a little past ten and I'm tired.]

You should finish the last one, Kit-Kat! <3

Thanks, Clo. I will--at some point. At some point, I'm going to add in alliteration, imagery, and everything else in my later poems. I'm just not sure when.

Saturday's:

I hate how easily you tear me down
They say that words can't hurt you, right?
Wrong.

All it takes is a few comments--
A few glances--
For you to tear me down.

At the same time, it's funny how easy you bring me back up again
One message from you made me happy for most of the day
I didn't feel as lonely.

I talked to your brother a few weeks ago
and found out a bunch of stuff I didn't know before
I instantly sympathized and wished I could help

I didn't mention any of it in my blog
because I respect your privacy,
Even if you don't always respect mine.

I don't regret telling you everything I told you
I just wish you'd trusted me with more,
Although I don't blame you for not.

I've been trying to forget about you
for a few months now
But it's not working.

Everytime I think I've moved on,
something reminds me that I'm not
And I feel like someone's stabbing me in the heart.

I keep reminding myself
that I always considered you to be someone
Who would catch me when I fall.

If I don't need to rely on you anymore,
then why can't I forget about you?
Why can't I stop caring?

Then why does it still hurt?

I'm with Clo, finish the Friday one. ^_^ I could really feel your anger and became a little angry myself. That's good!

Keep going, dear. (I still can't believe you're doing both... And you're actually making great progress. Kudos!)

Take care,
~Kalli

*hugs Kalli* Thanks!

Alright so I worked hard on my Screnzy this weekend. I went from 16 pages Friday afternoon to 65 pages at the moment. Whereas, my next horrible poem. It's all scrambled and probably doesn't make much sense but whatever.

Screnzy
You and I have become best friends this weekend
I have written forty-nine pages in two days alone
I have lost hours of sleep I much rather would have been sleeping
So why can't you be finished already?

I have pushed myself all weekend,
rewarding myself with something to drink
or an hour of wandering around online,
but I have worked hard.

Why must the page count continue to mock me?
I'm so close to being at the end.
Two more days of writing like this
and I'll be done with you.

You do a great job of encouraging people to procrastinate
But you encourage people to work hard too
I just want to be done with you.

My brain screams for sleep
but I eat more chocolate instead
because I just
"want to get five more pages in"

Everyone is struggling the same,
getting up early or staying up later
People think we're crazy
but writers are crazy
We do stupid, insane things, like trying to complete you in a month
(or in under a month)

Thanks, Screnzy, for encouraging me to try something new
Now, please, stop with mocking me with my current page count!

For today's horrible poem:

Dad,
Why can't you understand that this is hard on me?
You don't understand how easily anxiety can make you tired,
one bad day and all I want to do is hide and sleep.

Dad,
Why can't you accept that this is who I am right now?
No, I don't want to be this way,
but it's the way I am until this monster is gone.

Dad,
Why can't you understand that I don't want to go through all this?
All I want to do is be able to act like a regular person,
not some freak.

Dad,
Why can't you understand that I'm not using this as an excuse?
I want to be a normal person,
just as much as you want me to be.

Dad,
Why can't you accept the fact that I viewed people are scary?
You keep telling me that "they're just people"
but my brain, not me, disagree with you.

Dad,
Why can't you understand that I'm trying?
I'm trying to have a positive attitude
so what if I complain about a long day?
At least I tried.

Dad,
Why can't you just accept that I'm not like you?
I'll never be as smart as you
I'm just like mom.

Dad,
Why can't you just accept me for being me?

Kat, these are wonderful!

I just lover Saturday's one. It's too true for me. And the Dad one, and Screnzy... they're all good!

~Rosey

Thanks, Lex.

Apparantly, I have people who should not be reading this because the words "privacy" means nothing to them, but whatever. I have three words to say to you people but only two of the words would be allowed on the forums and without the last word, they would be pointless.

Yeah, so here's today's poem, as horrible as it is:

It's raining today
"Go inside!" I'm being told
and I listen.

I stare out the window and watch the people dancing in the rain,
so happy and carefree
I wonder why they aren't being told to stay inside too.

As the rain falls harder,
and the people dance faster
I feel out of place.

The rain is replaced by sunshine
"Go outside!" I'm told.
Everyone goes back inside.

"Why?" I ask.
"Why is everyone leaving?"
"Just go outside; you're safe now!"

Safe?
Safe from what?
I wonder.

I go outside,
all by myself,
and want to go back inside.

Months past
Gradually, I am allowed out in the rain
Until one day, I hear
"Go outside! Go outside and play!"

That's suppossed to be an extended metaphor. If you don't understand it, I can easily explain it to you.

I have five minutes and it's unfinished. I'll finish it tomorrow but I can't right now.

Wednesday:

There's a wall in my brain
It blocks me off
I want to break it down
but it still stands.

Gradually, I'm breaking down that wall
piece by piece
Some day,
that wall will go down

I hate to do this but I'm not posting some of my poems on here. They would cause too many issues with some people from my school. So, yeah, maybe I'll post them at the end of NaPo.