Young Writers Society

disclaimer: i have no idea if i'm sticking with this theme, so it might change before april.

1.4/1/22
2.4/3/22
3.4/29/22
4.4/29/22
5.4/30/22

Great poeting, Momo! I really felt the speaker's nervousness and anticipation, and the tone shift at "face grinning." was really great. I also like how you did the line breaks, for instance for "not once, / not twice,/ but three times" as that really matches the way someone would say that in their head or in speech maybe, but also builds up the anticipation for the dancer's great victory. All the best for NaPo!

have you ever watched someone walk blindly towards the edge of a cliff?
have you ever felt like your feet are growing roots into the ground,
forcing you to stay in place as you watch them walk towards their demise?
as they stride, thinking they're on top of the world, straight to their doom,
you wish you could stop them, save them, protect them,
but they're out of your reach, and out of earshot for you to scream,
turn back

Hey momo! I really enjoyed your second poem. I think (?) you typically use shorter lines in your poetry, so I find it really cool to see you using some longer lines here as well! Experimenting with style can be a blast. And I think the longer lines suit the poem really well; it's more conversational, and you have it broken up at the ends of phrases/sentences in a way that flows perfectly. Also the way you arranged the poem as basically one big question is quite effective, because it adds this vibe of uncertainty/possibility to it. I can really feel the helplessness of the narrator in the final few lines </3 Good luck with the rest of your NaPo!

Both of these starting poems are very emotive! The speaker's emotions ring through loud and clear. Good luck for the rest of the month momo, you've got this and you're off to a great beginning.

MOMO hi <3

I really like both of these poems!! they both have so much... okay, I don't know any poetry terms whatsoever. But they almost?? make me feel anxious? Like, there's an anticipation of what's to come in both, and it's powerful, and elicits emotion. Which I think is a marker of a good poem -- and look, you have TWO. Awesome job frenno! Keep up the good work <3

4.
text:
the eyes on the floor are watching,
searching for something to stare at.
their twisted pupils glare at
my every movement.
i try to ignore their looks,
try to continue as if
they weren't there.
but they watch
and stare
and glare.
i wish they would blink.