once, when i was seven years old, my mother scolded me for throwing one dollar's worth of pennies into a wishing well
"a hundred dreams that will never come true," was what she told me; she tried to show me reality but i ignored her advice and threw another dollar into the waters
i kept a log ever since, scribbling down the amount of wishes i wished today and then some, adding on more and more as the years went by
one day, my best friend was killed in by a drunk driver and i threw twenty hundred pennies down that fucking well, begging for god to give her back to me
she never came back and when the realization hit me, i took that list of fifty thousand wishes and tossed it down that wishing well and never did i waste another penny on broken dreams
“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then." - Lewis Carroll
every morning, i go outside and pluck daisies from a nearby field i throw them into a tea cup and season them with sugar
i add a little milk and drink it in the hopes that it will make me pretty inside and out, because you are what you eat and i want to be beautiful
those flowers must be wilting or maybe i shouldn't try this during winter because i'm not seeing any results
i'm currently climbing a staircase to heaven or, at least, to the stars with one hand on the banister and the other clutching a tea cup filled with milk and sugar and a perfect daisy that took me three days to find
pulled flowers litter that field but if my concoction with the stars work i'll make it up to nature by planting roses as an apology for not using what it gave me
“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then." - Lewis Carroll
A lot of these poems are raw and choppy and need to be fixed. But let me enjoy this moment and rest, for I have successfully finished my first NaPo and am very proud of myself.
And with that, I thank you for reading. Ilu Pengubop
“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then." - Lewis Carroll
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