I feel like a heart dissolving into shadows like a bleeding ghost. I feel like a dog falling off a cliff in a series of spasmodic bounces. I lie on the ground and look up at black pools rippling as they twinkle. Mightnight in the rain, the sky clouds my eyes like a hazy cataract.
And I remember when the mountain let a feather fall from its highest craggy peak. I send to you the mountain's feather like an eagle soaring abreath the wind. All the memories shine like a lighthouse, its tower glowing out to sea.
A metal star glimmers like a monument to your love, your eyes shimmer like the moonlight on the sea. And I finally realize that you broke my slippery heart. Your heart is like a glob of silver stone sparkling dully. And that even though I sent you my love like a feather drifting through the wind you still hate me and every word I speak. Maybe my life would have been better if you had never met me.
O mystical Mighty Mountains, your breath is like flowers in Spring From your presence generations are born Driven out of your rivers like water flowing
Orange and brown and from branches torn Winter's pale leaves are fumbled away on overflowing streams Crawling along their sandy beds, soon to be reborn
Your tallest precipes towering over the dreaming earth, high Above clouds shimmering white And the Sun's glistening blue sky
Mighty Mountains, watching over the night Destroyer and preserver, protect me under the starlight
My hands vomit blood In streams like slithering pythons Veins slit and criscrossed With the cross of redemption
Weakly I remember tha night The smell of supper wafting to my nose Pork, gravy and rice Barely tasted as I swallowed
Tired I sat in my purple keeper outfit Eyes clicking closed as I drank my water in gulps Gloves torn off hours before Finger swollen from the ball's spinning flight
I stretch my legs out Turn on the TV and watch its entrancing pictue But I'm pulled away The shower awaits
But before I can My Dad walks in with a frown upon his face He screams, You sift slob!, and demands I go and shower Though it's early in the day, still Winter's sunset
He looks at me again Frowns deeper and shouts Tells me to stop acting like an arsehole To shower before he makes me
I walk out the bathroom And he screams at me again My anger comes in a guilty tone In a girl's voice I say, I need to get some clothes
A girl's voice, I think as he voices it And stares at me like a witch He said it then, a painful jab "No wonder you and Katie love hanging out together."
I walk away, profanity in my head Katie, I want to scream, has nothing to do with this He hates I love her A girl shouldn't love a girl he says
That's what he always say And hopes I'm really a boy Because a son is all he wants A son that loves nature as "only girls can"
But I don't want to care I just want to let it go I punch my bed's wooden frame I don't even grimace as I watch my knuckle bruise
Can't I punch again Again and again Harder and harder And like a cloth frays let the skin tear
Can't I just hurt myself to make the pain to go away Can't I just put this pen into my wrist to unclog my throat Can't I just take one last breath and shove in the hate Die a girl at least, not what he wants to force me to be
But I think it over as I write this And I decide not to be so drastic To vanquish the pain I must hurt myself again I imagine the tortute and wonder why the thought is so hollow
Why do I want to break my foot with one kick to my bed's roof Why do I want to to pucnh the bathroom mirror and in fright watch it crack Why do I let my hand slip and fly for the wall, only just holding back my fist Why do I pull out my Maths set and saw into my skin
Because I exist I'll answer all four Becuase my Dad's insulting screams make my throat tighten with hate And I realize the reality of the words hitting me, smacking me in the face
Demolishing my heart Taking everything away I wish to throw my phone to the floor I wish to watch him crack my computer over his knee
I can't look away I can't pause to take a breath I seem to choke on solid air And the thought makes me wish I could hold my breath for just long enough
My hand aches from writing But the red hot feeling inside is still exploding And I can feel my foot itching as if this is what I want Gnarled and twisted, bones split in half
My arm seems to fall out of its socket but I just keep writing Dad turns the alarm on with an annoying screech as he brushes his teeth The cloud thunders above my head in a fit of rain And I remember all his words
Stop being such a girl, I flip my hair His hand twitches, I stand still and listen to him tell me he could floor me Shut up you little shit, but I demand my phone, there's a soccer match tomorrow Cut your hair you little twit, I hold the scissors in my hands, "Should I?"
Just to be your perfect tomboy Who makes sure every girl in me is binded Hidden beneath bulky boy clothes And soccer socks that are green not pink
Knowing the scissor will slice through my neck like I want it to Just to end the torment of wanting to be the girl I was born to be Because maybe that's why you bully me Maybe that's why you hate me
My eyes lie My mouth crouches It pursues Smiles It can't deny something true If you know me You know when Don't specify to me Your pain I eat leftovers on the weekends Skimp on food Just swallow what's on my plate I wrote my Mom a poem It was her only birthday present Today my stomach grumbled I'd eaten less than those fasting I'd tried my hardest though thirst spirited me away Threw up in my mouth Swallowed There was nutrients there I wrote a test Checked through another Wrote a story Wrote two poems Finished an assignment Had to blow my nose again and again Breathed My eyes lie I said I'm okay
Can you listen to the humming of the guitar string resonating across the room? I hope it will go on forever. And though it hurts, it feels boring to say that forever becomes too long.
I swear to God, pray to him, This psalm is short, the song should be shorter. My voice goes hoarse, I pray it comes back. My whole body racks with laughter and I cry, unsure if I'm happy or not.
The voice tells me, "What they say is true." But the voice hurts me and what they say isn't always meant for you, so just look up, smile. Know the bad isn't you, know a song is happy.
Last edited by NewHope on Sat Apr 23, 2022 4:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
The world Is a happy place The world Is worth laughter Every tear Is worth comforting Every smile Is worth returning So remember the lyrics of the songless days
Nightmares I explain Are like the creature in the darkness The torment before torture Like a glass spilling blood Staggeringly draining water With a slow plop Leaving it to fall into an abysm The very chamber of night Where even mud curdles At its clean drop
But nightmares aren't real I comfort Nightmares are like your stuffed teddy bear He'll never hurt you Like the ground's soggy suck Undesiringly muddy as the rain falls Every cloud punctuated with a rude clap Drenching the ground to its breaking point It slowly overflows Leaving the water to curdle With dirty mud
Spades digging into the dirt As I staggered Through the rose-filled gardens
Hearts pruned the flowers Slitting away thorns And twisting outgrowths That seemed outlandish Among the ruby red rectangle of roses
Diamonds guarded the gates With sharp spears and bronze breastplates Standing silently at every cliff like wall Protecting the statues that stood among The fountains And the books that lined the library's shelves
The Queen of Darkness Walked on the silver stones that covered the path Shattered with each solemn step In her majestic mauve gown And crystal crown shimmering in the starlight
The Queen of Roses With her black precipice Like a hair upon the lip Unsmiling and seated On her cold titanium throne
Quipping at even the blank of an eye The uncurled petal of a roses's teacup blossom Brown and blackened by the circle of time Staring straightforward with her unforgiving glare
Heart broken By a solider's questing love Fueled by the misery of battle
Armour rattling as she pulls on her chainmail And stabs the air with her wandering sword
Tapping the shoulders among her heartless ranks, charge
I carve each carat carefully And place it on my wife's finger With pride and hope And spry happiness in my smile Is dreaming of that day Too hard to imagine
Last edited by NewHope on Sat Apr 23, 2022 5:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
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