Young Writers Society

Er...yeah. Got anything you'd like me to go over? It's saturday night and the Sam is extremely bored.

Huh. I find it kind of funny...36% of YWS thinks we don't get enough critiques, and yet only TWO people have posted here. If you're not going to ask, I'd quit whining about it. I'm offering to read something, all you have to do is say the word.

I might warn yeh...I'm not very good with poetry...but I could try..if you ask nicely.

Critique this!

I'm not really an art person either (:P) but I'll try.

1. First of all, finish the unfinished ork.

2. Erase (very slightly) some of your shading. You can see lines, especially in the first ork's right thigh, very clearly. It makes the piece look like you tried to mess up.

3. Okay, I'm not an expert on orks, but it looks to me as if his arms are disporportionate to his legs. I'd try (if you have time, of course) to his arms a bit shorter. And of course, keep the cool machine gun!

4. Er...his crotch looks...lumpy...I wouldn't know, but I don't think orks are supposed to have four penises. Erase some of your creases there so it doesn't look so funny.

5. Along with his legs, I'd also go through and gently erase bits of the shading on the thing (I'll call it a bullet for now) strapped to his back. It looks kind of funky, especially if you look really closely.

6. Make the head and the eyes, espcially, more prominent. I didn't even think he had a head until further inspection (it would also help if this were colored, too.)

7. Erase some of the extra itty-bitty lines protruding from his gun and the creases on his pants. It looks very sloppy.

8. His left arm (the one holding the claw) looks to me like it's supposed to be upright. In that position, his sleeves wouldn't bag and gather in specific places like that. Try wearing a really loose sweater and hold a weight in the way he is, and have someone take a picture. Base the bags/creases on your picture. It'll look much more realistic.

9. Erase a lot of the little fussy lines on his hand (with the claw). I can't see a lot of your cool little details that you've drawn in elsewhere.

10. I would draw an extra handle/hold on the machine gun. It's hard to hold something that bulky with just one finger.

This is really well-drawn, even if it's not really my type of art. Man, I wish I could do that...

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3216

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3881

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4101


Thanks.

Thanks! That really helps. No seriously, even someone like you.

Just a few notes.

He has no sleeves.

Its not a machine gun, its a pistol (crazy I know, its an ork, its "real" "machinegun" is the size of a human, and about 1/3rd the size of an ork)

Sloppy, yeah, thats me, Its a horrible habit but... yeah...
(I hate coloring/erasing)

Thanks a million!

Welcome!

If he has no sleeves...then...blech...he needs to excercise, man...

Oh and Sabradan, I did all, except for The Book of Rock, which I've already read. I wasn't in Nit-Pick mode...but still.