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Magnificent Mansion Chapter 5



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Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:35 am
dogs says...



So ladies and gentlemen I present to you for your delectation and edification the grand chapter 5 of the Magnificent Mansion!!!!!! The plot thickens as Jacque finishes the last of his reviews and finds that he is no closer to the bottom as he was before. Who is the most likely to have done it? Who is the least likely? Who did it?! Actually just for fun does everyone who reads this want to tell who they think committed the murder and why...? Just to get a feel of where my readers at at in the scheme of things.

Madame- Mrs.
Monsieur- Mr.
Merci- Thank you
Oui- Yes (pronounced wi)

Happy reading!


Jacque rubbed his eyes, deep in thought. Firstly about Dr. Roberts and Herbert, Where did they possibly come from? And then about what Alice said about Colonel Marquez who she claims was in their room the entire time. Very odd, Monsieur Marquez, a man who likes the bridge missing for unknown reasons. Jacque furrowed his brows and rubbed his chin, there must be a reason for Monsieur Marquez to miss bridge, one of his favorite card games supposedly. So it led Jacque to the conclusion that either Alice was lying or the Colonel Marquez has something to hide, like everyone else. A knock came at the door, interrupting Jacque’s thoughts.

“Come in” Jacque replied as Kurtis Fletcher came in through the door and closed it quietly behind him. “Ah, Monsieur Fletcher… I mean… Kurtis! Please sit”

Kurtis walked slowly over to the chair and sat down staring blankly straight at Jacque.

“So, Kurtis. I understand that had just ran upstairs at the time the shot was fired yes…?” Jacque gave Kurtis a quizative look. Jacque was just wondering if Kurtis was paying attention, he already knew that he was upstairs at the time Louis Leroy was killed.

“Yes, yes I was. I had just run upstairs after Cubilla and Lucinda had that war against each other in the bridge room”

“And did Herbert the butler come into the bridge room and about when”

“Oh yes that’s right Herbert did come in. I think it was about… oh I don’t know… 11:30ish? Around then”

“And when you left the Bridge room was Dr. Roberts still in there?”

“Yes… yes now that I think of it yes he was. He just kept sitting at his chair. He was staring at the fireplace or something next to it for some reason…” Jacque took down some notes and then looked back up on Kurtis.

“And just before you heard the gun shot… did you notice anything peculiar or out of the ordinary?”

“No… no there was nothing. Absolutely nothi…. Wait… there was one thing!”

“Yes… yes and what’s that Kurtis?”

“Well I might have imagined it… I’m not quite sure…”

“It does not matter go on! What did you see?”

“Well I could have sworn I saw someone running down the hall, before I could get a good look at them they turned the corner”

“Who was is Kurtis? This is of the up-most importance” Kurtis put a hand on his head.

“Ahhhh… I don’t remember! All I remember was that Lucinda was screaming at Cubilla in the bathroom and then when I turned around there was someone running and then they were gone”

“Do you at least remember if it was a man or a woman?”

“No I don’t they were moving so fast…”

“And then what happened?”

“Well I… I started down the hall to find out whoever it was and then there was the bang. The Colonel ripped through his door and charged at Louis’s door, next you and Lyla came in followed by me and Lucinda.”

“And Madame Cubilla?”

“Oh yeah that’s right… well she came next into the room, I guess she just came from the bathroom” Jacque scribbled some notes in his little book and then frowned.

“Just one more thing Kurtis, who do you think killed Monsieur Leroy?”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you Jacque. All I can say is the bastard beat me to it. Louis got what was coming to him” Jacque nodded his head slowly.

“If you would please get Cubilla? Thank you Kurtis, you have been most helpful.” Jacque smiled politely as Kurtis stood up and tipped his hat.

“Why thank you Jacque” he smiled widely and walked outside. Jacque sat down and drummed his fingers on the bridge table with his head in his hand. Soon Cubilla entered the room, she opened the doors and let them close themselves behind her, and she stood standing, frozen in place for a moment. Jacque turned around and looked at Cubilla who was not gnawing at her perfect nails.

“Madame Black, if you would please have a seat” Jacque motioned towards the chair but Cubilla didn’t move, her face didn’t even change. She just kept chewing on her nails. Jacque frowned and got up from his seat to walk over to Cubilla.

“Cubilla, it’s ok…” he put a reassuring hand on Cubilla’s shoulder and she jumped as if Jacque’s hand was a gun pointed at her face. She let out a tense breath and released a small high-pitched laugh.

“Oh Mr. Leferre I am terribly sorry” She smiled nervously and waddled over to her seat and sat down folding her hands in her lap.

“It’s ok Cubilla” Jacque smiled warmly “So when you ran upstairs after winning in bridge… what happened?”

“What…? Oh! Yes of course ummm well I ran into the bathroom to re-do my make up just as I said I would” She let out another forced smile and then her hands reached for her gloves which she twisted time and time again in her hands nervously.

“Really Madame? Because didn’t you say that you were going to ‘powder your nose’?” Jacque gave Cubilla a suspicious look who froze and tensed up.

“Yes well… you must understand Mr. Leferre they are really the same thing. Powder your nose… put on some makeup… re do your make up. All the same thing you see. You must know so little about women” Cubilla gave a reassuring smile as Jacque twirled his pen around his long, bony fingers and then he took some more notes. If I say anything else Cubilla is going to tense up and won’t talk at all. The truth has to come out freely. Jacque furrowed his brow once again showing that he was deep in thought.

“Thank you Cubilla. That is all.”

“… That’s all?”

“Yes Cubilla. You can go back now, please send Dr. Roberts in” Cubilla let out a sigh of relief and hopped to her feet and then practically ran to the door, desperate to get out. Jacque flipped through his notebook, trying to connect everything together… so far it all didn’t make any sense. If what Kurtis said was true then how could someone possible shoot Louis Leroy and run out before the Colonel came inside… Jacque rubbed his head with his perfect white gloves. The only possible escape was through the window and even then that would be a stretch because whoever may have gone through the windows would have been drenched when they came back inside…

Dr. Roberts walked in ominously, interrupting Jacques thoughts, seeming un-phased by everything that had happened. He had replaced the empty pocket in his tuxedo with a small rose, it’s small petals blooming, reflecting its beauty across the room. He sat down confidently at bridge table and took out a cigarette.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a light Mr. Leferre?” Jacque smiled.

“Ah, but of course Dr. Roberts” He took out his lighter and held the flame to the Doctors cigarette. Jacque looked down at his notebook “Now… Dr. Roberts. At precisely 11:45 your wife, Cubilla Black, and Kurtis Fletcher left the bridge room. Is this true?” Dr. Roberts puffed out a black cloud and let the cold air blow it away.

“Yes of course. Mr. Leferre, it is all true.”

“And you did not go up with them at the time?”

“No, I did not”

“And where, Dr. Roberts, were you when the shot was fired. Where were you when Louis Leroy died?” Dr. Roberts blinked twice.

“Why I was still here, in this very room, sitting where you are right now in fact”

“And after the shot was fired how did you come into Louis’s room?”

“Why I took the stairs of course” Dr. Roberts released a sly smile and took another deep inhale of his cigarette.

“Are you quite sure Dr. Roberts?” Jacque asked, seeing straight through his lie.

“But of course” Dr. Roberts twirled his cigarette around in his fingers, smiling broadly.

“And Monsieur Herbert… when did he come in with to refill your drinks?”

“Who?” Dr. Roberts asked innocently.

“The butler”

“Oh yes of course! Herbert that was his name. Yes yes I remember now. He came in some time past 11:30 as I recall”

“And where did he leave?”

“Where did he leave... well he left through the door of course… wait… no he didn’t…” Jacque leaned in intently staring at Dr. Roberts.

“Yes Dr. Roberts…? Where did he go…”

“I actually don’t know… he just kind of disappeared… he was standing over by the fireplace and then he just was gone.”

“Most interesting Dr. Roberts, do you know anything about the fireplace? Is there anything peculiar about it? Come let’s take a look” Jacque got up from his chair and urged Dr. Roberts to his feet and walked over to the fireplace. All that was left inside the fireplace was dying embers that through their shadows across the floor like ghosts dancing on the walls.

Jacque stared intently at the fireplace. “Is there anything that you find odd about this fireplace Dr. Roberts”? Dr. Roberts shrugged

“Non-what-so-ever” and smiled coyly while he stuck his cigarette back into his mouth, a little more forcefully this time as if he was becoming a little frustrating, but his face was still unreadable.

“Well there is one thing in particular that is odd about this fireplace…” Jacque knocked on the walls behind the fireplace and a hollow sound echo across the halls. “It seems like that there is something behind this wall” Jacque gave Dr. Roberts a suspicious look who smoked his cigarette aggressively.

“Well it is a chimney after all, the walls are hollow”

“That would make the fireplace hollow not the walls” Jacque felt around the smooth bricks, looking for something out of the ordinary.

“I’m very sorry Mr. Leferre I can’t help you. I assure, I have no idea what you are talking about” Dr. Roberts stuffed the cigarette back into his mouth and left it there for a long time, smoke pouring out of his face, now slightly visibly distressed. Jacque kept on feeling the chimney and the wall behind it until his hand came across a single brick, slightly more distended from the brick wall by the slightest amount. Jacque smiled and pushed at the brick. When Jacque shoved the brick it shrunk back farther into the wall until there was a clicking sound and the fireplace un-hinged itself from the wall. The fireplace was a door… attached by hinges to the blank wall. Jacque turned to Dr. Roberts and smiled.

“Most impressive Mr. Leferre. It may be best that we don’t go inside, who knows how long its been there, the walls could cave in on us at any minute” Jacque merely stepped aside and motioned towards the door.

“After you Dr. Roberts.” Jacque smiled as Dr. Roberts eyes met his own, dumbfounded. His mouth dropped open nearly letting the cigarette fall from his mouth. Dr. Roberts quickly caught himself and took out his cigarette, smiling.

“But of course Mr. Leferre… but of course” Dr. Roberts cautiously walked forward very slowly. Edging closer into the dark hallway, Jacque soon followed as the darkness embraced him, encasing him in total darkness. Jacque took out a flashlight from his coat pocket, illuminating the dark, fighting it away with the light that shined from his flashlight. He saw Dr. Roberts still standing in the middle of the hall, he again puffed out a giant black cloud of smoke. But it just sat in the air and fell lonely to the ground. Jacque smiled at him.

“Follow the yellow brick road” Dr. Roberts said, giving Jacque a toothy grin. “And away we go…” Dr. Roberts turned and started walking down the dark hallway, leaving Jacque alone with just his flashlight until the darkness swallowed Dr. Roberts and he disappeared. Jacque soon followed after him, quickening his pace taking long strides.

“Dr. Roberts…? Dr. Roberts are you there?! Hello?” But there was only silence, Jacque sighed, cursing himself for letting the doctor slip away. His long strides soon turned into a run until he ended up at a fork, two hallways that snaked away from each other. Jacque had no idea where he was going or how to get out. He could go back but that would defy the purpose of going in here. Jacque sighed, his perfect white pants and suit was getting dirt on it. I just had these washed. Jacque looked down each way, contemplating his choices.

He stood deep in thought when he realized that there was a tiny light coming from the hallway to the left. And soon the hallway was filled with a very distinct and powerful smell; Jacque held a handkerchief to his face, covering his nose. Trying to block out the overwhelming stench of marihuana that hung heavily in the cold air. Jacque took his chances and turned toward the hallway with the light coming from it and walked quickly down the hall until he came to a large and ominous cement door that had been left open just big enough for Jacque to squeeze through.

When he entered the room he noticed that its entire formation was cement. Despite having a foundation of cement the room was lavished with expensive French rugs decorating the room and magnificent armchairs sad around another small fireplace where Jacque noticed a tall man had a handful of papers and was individually, one by one, slowly tossing them into the brilliant fire. Jacque recognized the man immediately; it was Herbert Lark… the Butler.


TuckEr EllsworTh :smt032
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Fri Dec 16, 2011 2:03 am
NightWriter says...



Hello hello hello!

So here we go: Another review on possibly the best murder mystery out there, today!

Firstly, I'll just go out and say it: This chapter is long. And I love long chapters. Tick for that one.

And then about what Alice said about Colonel Marquez who she claims was in their room the entire time.

Should 'claims' be 'claimed'? I'm not sure.

I usually don't like it when the dialogue is so 'bang bang bang' but this one was good. Even though there's no pauses to elaborate on what's happening around them, it still works better than I expected! :)

“It does not matter go on! What did you see?”

I think that there should be a comma or something after the 'matter'.

“Who was is Kurtis? This is of the up-most importance”
the word, upmost, is, I'm quite sure, supposed to me: utmost :)

“No I don’t they were moving so fast…”
Something after, 'don't', maybe? A comma?

All I can say is the bastard beat me to it. Louis got what was coming to him”

I [i]love[i/] that bit! Very funny :)

The last line, the butler! Ahhh! I honestly can't wait to know what happens next! What are the papers!!!!!

Ha! Another great piece of work!

Keep it up bro!

NightWriter x
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Sun Dec 18, 2011 12:25 am
hudz96 says...



Hey
sorry for not replying earlier.
Why is it every other chapter i read becomes my favorite from all the rest.

(: despite the fact that Dr.Roberts is probably the most suspicious one from all of them... and maybe Cubilla... there is something about her... why in the world would she have come back to the mansion she was fired from? and uninvited.
I think i like Dr. Roberts character the most.
And its funny the way your detective worries about his clothes in the most pressing moments, odd guy. (:
Tell me when you have the other chapter done.

Keep it up... i really don't like writing that it sounds weird.

Hudz
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