Young Writers Society

Dear Whoever,

You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. You kissed me. YOU KISSED ME!!! YOU KISSED ME!!! YOU KISSED ME!!! YOU KISSED ME!!! YOU KISSED ME!!! YOU KISSED ME!!! YOU KISSED ME!!! YOU KISSED ME!!! YOU KISSED ME!!!




You fucking kissed me.





I think I'm over the fact that you kissed me now.




Nope, still not over it. Not to be slutty, but can we do it again?
Of course, we can do it after my family leaves. Oh, Jesus Christ it sounds like I'm asking you for sex.

What are you looking at you big dope? Don't you know it's impolite to stare?

PERVERT!!!!!!!



Cody would have signed the letter, but she couldn't due to the fact that she had discovered Derek staring down her hospital gown from his seat beside her in the bed. In his defense, it was a very nice view. Tell that to cody whois currently beating him over the head with her notepad.

"OK," shouted Derek, "OK, I'm sorry." She lowered her arm, glaring at him. "You know you really have a nice rack.....OOMP!" Cody has abandoned her puny little note pad in favor of her much larger history text book. He ducked and dodged for several minutes, before snatching it from her grasp and flinging the book acroos the room.

"Come on Cody," he whined, "You know you liked it" she glared at him silently, than reached for her notepad. WHETHER OR NOT I LIKED IT IS IRELLEVENT, YOU'RE STILL A FUCKING PERVERT. DIDN'T YOUR MOTHER EVERY TEAHC YOU THAT IT'S IMPOLITE TO STARE AT A GIRLS RACK?

He grinned down at her. "So you admit that you liked me staring at your rack." he stated gleefully. OH,YOU CAUGHT THAT? I'M IMPRESSED. Glaring at her playfully, he leaned down and captured her lips with his. She melted into the kiss, and a few seconds later that both pulled back, gasping a little.

"You did say that you wanted to do it again." Derek said breathlessly. "Now's as good a time as ever,don't you think?" SHUT UP AND KISS ME YOU DICK! He laughed at her writing. "As my lady commands." he quipped before dving down for another kiss.

Several minutes later, they were still too occupied to notice the dorr opening. "Cody, can I talk to..... OH MY GOD!!!" Derek jerked away from her and turned to the door. "Oh, shit." he whispered. Cody just stared at Michael's extremely red, extremely pissed off face. She gave somewhat of a nervous laugh, and waved slightly. "Cody," Michael said in as calm of a voice as he could muster, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE????"

Hey there! I'm Rose, and I'll be reviewing this piece.

Before starting, you need to understand that what I'm going to say is just my opinion. If you don't agree with my suggestions, feel free to disregard them because, at the end of the day, your opinion of your writing is what matters most. Here goes.

I understand when people want to incorporate passion into their work. However, there's a fine line between incorporating passion and letting it be the only thing that matters in the story. Let me put it this way. When I see a commercial for a new movie, I can usually tell a lot about it after the first few seconds. Want to know how? If the story of the movie isn't incredible, there will almost always be a woman in skimpy, tight clothing featured in the commercial. While it might motivate some people to watch the movie, I don't happen to be one of them; I'm looking for a good story and realistic characters. I don't want sexual references to be the only thing that matters in the movie. I want something with some substance.

People like to read about characters that are believable. Although I haven't read the rest of this piece, I'm not a fan of them already. I don't like the man, who seems to think that the girl's chest is the only thing that's important; I also don't like the girl. I don't believe in them. They seem amateurish, and I don't see any major flaws with them. I don't feel for them at all, and I definitely don't want to read more about them.

So, now you know how I feel. I can go on and on all day about how I don't identify with your characters and it won't make any difference unless you know how to fix them. I'm going to give you a few tips as to how to create strong, interesting characters.

1. Create believable, flawed characters.

I don't know anybody who's perfect. I know I'm not. I have a temper and I get depressed at times. I have flaws, and I'm sure you have them, too, so why wouldn't your characters have them? In order for characters to be believable, they must have flaws. Giving the characters flaws that will make readers have feelings for them is the best way to make people want to read your story.

2. Avoid the use of swear words as the 'meat' of the story.

In this piece, I couldn't find a lot of good writing. Writing well is essential, and I don't like it when writers try to replace good usage of words with cuss words and sexual references. I always see it as the writer compensating for the lack of having anything else to say. If I were you, I would delete the swear words and find better ways to tell the story.

3. Make sure your story is fresh.

If your story isn't fresh, I won't want to read it. It's plain and simple. Your story must convince me to read it rather than reading the thousands of other stories out there. It must be special. Sit down, write a detailed outline, and think about if it's new, exciting, and makes sense. Make sure that the story is something you'll stick with for months. Otherwise, it will end up falling to the wayside.

I hope I'm not being too harsh. I genuinely want to help you out. If you've got any questions, feel free to contact me!

Always keep writing!

-Rose