The Prevailing Darkness (4)

Chapter four can now be found here topic85061.html

Just a couple nit-picky things to address.

“Sorry,” Josh said again, this time apologising for apologising.

You don't need the part I crossed out as it's already implied by the context. By pointing it out so directly, you're just hitting the reader with a hammer and that's never good!

The reason for people’s resentment towards Joshua was coming forth.

Change in bold.

“It’s seems likely to me, that he was sacrificed for a satanic ritual.”

Take out the 's that I crossed out.

Overall, it's not really an interesting chapter. The beginning starts off weak since the paranoia Kasia has is just briefly mentioned. You could go a lot more into that and how she felt the eyes of everyone burning into her.

It also seems unlikely Joshua would react so shyly after declaring the murder a Satanic ritual. I know people like that in real life, and you can't get them to shut up. If Joshua doesn't have many friends, it'd be because no one can get him to stop talking about satanic rituals or pentagrams.