Ice Cubes #22

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miyaviloves
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Fri May 11, 2007 1:38 pm
miyaviloves says... · Fri May 11, 2007 1:38 pm
Taken down due to publishing
Last edited by miyaviloves on Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Bag.

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JC
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Sat May 12, 2007 5:49 am
JC says... · Sat May 12, 2007 5:49 am
Mom had flied a court hearing to get me back

I think you meant flied to be filed =D


I like this chapter! Although I wish stupid Rob would stand up for [s]Jamie[/s] Jaimy =D

Or even Chris! Ahh! It makes me mad at them...stupid sexually abusive men....*glares*

Oh...and I don't like Becca! hehe. But I don't think I'm supposed to, so it's alright!

hehe. PM me when you post the next part, I almost missed this one!

-JC
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett
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Alainna
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Sun May 13, 2007 11:38 am
Alainna says... · Sun May 13, 2007 11:38 am
Fab chapter!!!

Becca is sooo annoying!!!! Argh!! And what is going on with Rob?? Stand up for Jaimiy for goodness sake!!!

I felt. Empty.

Instead of a full stop I think ......would work better.


My earliest memory of seeing is as colourful and vivid as if it only happened yesterday.

????

Great stuff,
Off to read more!!
Alainna
xxxxxx
Sanity is for the unimaginative.

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Insomnia
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Sun Jun 03, 2007 1:23 pm
Insomnia says... · Sun Jun 03, 2007 1:23 pm
Hey, and staright off, wow! This was another twist!

Mom had flied a court hearing to get me back.

*filed

“Look, its not that I want to Jamiy.

*it's

I have watched countless men come into our home beat her and me and then leave.

come into our home, beat her and me...

I turned away from them. Expecting

You just needed a comma there, because it makes more sense as one sentance.

I felt. Empty.

Again, I don't think you should have the full stop after felt. If you play around with it you might find something. xD

was kidnapped my evil elves,

*by

And it really does reflect on society today, doesn't it? Looks are the most important thing around these days...
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A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master except his own soul, and that, I am sure, is why he does it.
— Roald Dahl