See, this was great! I liked how Kyle woke up and immediatly asked where Jon was, that was cute. You did a great job describing
the explosion! I could imagine all the bodies around and the rubble and how Ariel and Kyle looked. It reminded me of 9/11 Lol.
*He nodded s;pw;y, "Look."
**What is s;pw;y?
Great job Bradness!
~Rieda
I love, love.
*This wonderful crit is brought to you by CCF!*
I like all the descriptions. They're really vivid, and I can tell exactly what's going on.
For just being dead, Kyle recovers quickly. It seems like he's up on his feet in just a few seconds after she revives him. I don't know if that's normal, but it doesn't seem realistic to me.
She let out a little gasp as he struggled to stay above the water but was drug out to his death.
I'm pretty sure it's 'dragged'.
-Jenna
Jennafina's Love Your Body Already Dammit Campaign
Good descriptions of a disater. I kinda thought Kyle recoverd kinda fast too but I think with a disaster your adrenaline pumps and you would recover fast.
It was good. I'm on to the next
"Maybe Senpai ate Yuka-tan's last bon-bon?" ----Stupei, Ace Defective
Eh. Watch more Mythbusters. Either
a: the landmass wouldn't be dense enough to create a vortex.
OR
b: it would be, and thus the vortex would suck down immediatley.
Regardless, this would only happen after the landmass sunk-- and only if it sunk quickly.
Which, conveniently, it doesn't appear to be doing.
The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life — and one is as good as the other.
Ernest Hemingway
A vortex of this magnitude, with water inching up a shoreline miles and miles along, is quite rapid. What one really has, though, is not a vortex at all, which is turbulent flow. What one has is a mixed laminar/steady-state flow. At the coast, then, one finds there would be a supercritical Hopf-Hopf mode interaction, assuming things were ideal (and why not, since this is what can be modeled accurately), which basically means that what one experiences then is a slowly progression of water. There would not be a tremendous sucking force except for "in waves"--as in, there would be strong suction, and then ejection from the "vortex."
I hope this helped?
Best,
Brad
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson
The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life — and one is as good as the other.
Ernest Hemingway
Cheat your landlord if you can and must, but do not try to shortchange the Muse. It cannot be done. You can’t fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. — William S. Burroughs
