See, this was great! I liked how Kyle woke up and immediatly asked where Jon was, that was cute. You did a great job describing
the explosion! I could imagine all the bodies around and the rubble and how Ariel and Kyle looked. It reminded me of 9/11 Lol.
*He nodded s;pw;y, "Look."
**What is s;pw;y?
Great job Bradness!
~Rieda
I love, love.
*This wonderful crit is brought to you by CCF!*
I like all the descriptions. They're really vivid, and I can tell exactly what's going on.
For just being dead, Kyle recovers quickly. It seems like he's up on his feet in just a few seconds after she revives him. I don't know if that's normal, but it doesn't seem realistic to me.
She let out a little gasp as he struggled to stay above the water but was drug out to his death.
I'm pretty sure it's 'dragged'.
-Jenna
Jennafina's Love Your Body Already Dammit Campaign
Good descriptions of a disater. I kinda thought Kyle recoverd kinda fast too but I think with a disaster your adrenaline pumps and you would recover fast.
It was good. I'm on to the next
"Maybe Senpai ate Yuka-tan's last bon-bon?" ----Stupei, Ace Defective
Eh. Watch more Mythbusters. Either
a: the landmass wouldn't be dense enough to create a vortex.
OR
b: it would be, and thus the vortex would suck down immediatley.
Regardless, this would only happen after the landmass sunk-- and only if it sunk quickly.
Which, conveniently, it doesn't appear to be doing.
The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life — and one is as good as the other.
Ernest Hemingway
A vortex of this magnitude, with water inching up a shoreline miles and miles along, is quite rapid. What one really has, though, is not a vortex at all, which is turbulent flow. What one has is a mixed laminar/steady-state flow. At the coast, then, one finds there would be a supercritical Hopf-Hopf mode interaction, assuming things were ideal (and why not, since this is what can be modeled accurately), which basically means that what one experiences then is a slowly progression of water. There would not be a tremendous sucking force except for "in waves"--as in, there would be strong suction, and then ejection from the "vortex."
I hope this helped?
Best,
Brad
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson
The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life — and one is as good as the other.
Ernest Hemingway
