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YWS Romance (For BBB's contest) Part 2



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Sun Feb 10, 2008 7:32 pm
Firearris says...



Here is part two!

Karma mewed and climbed on his chest, purring. Hunter groaned and slammed a pillow over his face. His one chance to say something to Kat, and he had chickened out. Pa-thet-ic.

He pushed the embarrassing event from his mind, or tried to, at least, and started scratching Karma's ears. With any luck, Kat would forget the event and he could try again next time.
If there was a next time. They might never be alone in the chat again! He groaned againg and re-slapped the pillow on top of his head. Karma looked up questioningly at him, and he looked at the cat through slitted eyes.

"What are you looking at?"

The cat obediently looked away, nudging his face under Hunter's hand. He started scratching his cat's ears again, doing his best not to think about the chat.
A few minutes after, Hunter went to sleep.

Kat paced with a vengeance in her bed room. How humiliating.
"You hot! 'what's going on here?' " she mimicked, turning an even darker red. With an inhuman sound, she flung herself on her bed, stuffing her face in her pillow. A light tapping came at her door.
"You all right in there?" asked Bob, his voice muffled by the door.
"Noooooo…" she groaned, hiding her ace in her hands and shaking her head. Bob came in and looked her over.
"Okay, how are you not okay?"
"Noooooo…" she said. "Nate… the chat… Scotty! Ohhhhh man!"
"Ooookaaaay…"
"It's nothing, Bob. Go play a video game or something."
"Okay. Hope you feel better soon. Who's Scotty?"
She hurled a pillow at him, but he only laughed and shut the door behind him as he left.


Scotty sat in his bed, trying to plot out a better way to get Hunter to love him. He laid there thinking about it, until he fell asleep


Empress thought about her lovely Scotty, and started writing a note for him.
Dear Scotty,
I was wondering if you would like to meet me some place, then maybe go out for dinner? You know who I am, meet me at the spejfoa restraunt at noon tomorrow.


Love you,
Empress Kat.


Empress smiled at the love note, but not for long. Bob ran into her room and stole the note and showed it to his friend.
“Bob! Give that back!” She shouted as she jumped out of bed. She ran out of her room and another one of Bob’s friends started spraying her with a fifteen dollar water gun.
“Fine! Take it!” Bob shouted as he tossed it at her. By the time she caught it, it was wet and smeared. She ran to her room and closed the door, and locked it shortly after. She changed into her pajamas and threw away the secret letter, then she went on YWS.

Username: EmpressKat

Password: Scottykins

Then she had a new PM waiting, from Hunter.

Hey Empress,

I was wondering if you would like to meet me at the park tomorrow at 12:30?




Empess smiled and responded.

Sure, see you then!

She sent the message, logged off, and went to bed.



Hunter was sitting on a bench while waiting for Empress, then she came.
“Hey Hunter.” She said as she sat on the bench next to him. Then, they saw Scotty.
“Oh, hi Empress, Hunter.” He said, smiling.
“Empress, would you like a snow cone?” Hunter asked.
“Sure.” She said. Hunter got up but Scotty stopped him.
“I will save you the time and do it for you.” He offered.
“No, I’m fine.” Hunter said.
“No really, I will do it.” Scotty said.
“No-” Hunter was about to say more when Empress interrupted.
“I will get them, if you two are going to fight over it, jeez.” She said as she walked away. Hunter and Scotty sighed as they sat on the bench.
“So, Hunter, would you like to do something tonight?” Scotty asked.
“Uh…I’m busy tonight.” He said right before Kat returned and sat down.
“Here,” She said as she handed Scotty and Hunter each a snow cone.
“Hey Kat, would you like to do something tonight?” Hunter asked and saw Scotty raise an eyebrow.
“Sorry, I’m busy tonight.” She said.
“I have to go.” Hunter said as he got up and started running away.
“Okay! See you later!” Kat said. “Hey Scotty, you want to do something tonight?” She asked.
“I’m a bit busy tonight.” He said.



When Hunter got home, he feed Karma and sat on his bed. Karma walked over to his bed and tried to make it on, but it was too high for him, so Hunter helped him up. He sighed and went to his computer to do some YWSing.



Scotty went on YWS to send Kat a message for no reason. He put her username in the spot before walking away for a minute, then going back to his computer to PM Hunter telling him that he loves him.

Dear Hunter,
If I were to have to pick to marry you, or the hottest girl in the world, I would pick you, what I mean to say is that I love you.

Yours Always,
Scotty.



He pressed send on the message without even changing the user who receives it, then he went to sleep.



The next morning, Kat logged on to YWS. She hoped it wasn't from Nate. It wasn't. It was from Scotty. Scotty! Her love! She squealed and did a little dance before regaining her composure and sitting down again. She had butterflies in her stomach as she prepared to click the message. She clicked it and beamed as she scrolled down a bit to see what he had said.

Her joyful expression turned to that of confusion. She read the message about ten times before sitting back in her chair. It was clearly a joke, or he would have sent it to Hunter. Yeah. Joke.
Right.
Hmm...
She sent Scotty a reply PM, asking if he'd meet her at the park at noon. After sending that, she asked Hunter the same thing. A few hours later, they had both replied with a yes. Smiling, she grabbed her purse and left for the park.

When she arrived, she saw Hunter and Scotty both walking towards her from different directions. Kat and Hunter sat on the bench, but Scotty left for a moment before coming back with two snow-cones.
"Here Hunter." Scotty said as he handed Hunter one of the cones.
"Uh…thanks?" He said before turning to Kat. "Here Kat." He added. Kat nodded her thanks and took the cone. She watched how Scotty was acting around Hunter.
"So Hunter, are you busy tonight?" Scotty asked as he sat next to Hunter. Kat's eyes flashed angrily over her snow cone, but she said nothing, just continued watching.
"Um….Kinda." Hunter replied. Her eyes widened. Hunter was reluctant to turn down the date? He- he-
"Too bad, I was thinking of going to a roma- chick flit movie tonight." Scotty said. After a very confused Hunter blinked several times and gently turned down the offer, there was a pause. Suddenly Scotty got up and stretched.
"Well, I need to get going." He said, smiling.
"You only just got here!" Kat exclaimed, jumping up before taking a breath and sitting down again. This was good. She didn't want Scotty to witness her strangling Hunter.
"See ya, Scotty." Hunter said, looking at Kat, then Scotty, then back to Kat.
Hunter and Kat watched as Scotty walked away. When he turned a corner and was out of sight, Kat fumed. Not that Hunter noticed.
"So…" he said, turning to Kat, planning to ask her out. He found her, not in her seat, but towering over him, murder in her eye. He gulped.
"How could you?" Kat demanded, clenching her fists as her face turned red. Hunter could have sworn her eyes flashed a demon red for a moment there, too. He leaned back, away from Kat.
"How could I what?" He asked, confused.
"You… stole… my… boyfriend!" Kat all but screamed.
"I stole your boyfriend? I did not!" Hunter shouted as he raised his hands in the air innocently.
"You stole my boyfriend!" Kat insisted, pounding her fists repeatedly on Hunter's chest. It didn't hurt, but Hunter found it a terrifying gesture none the less. He looked around to see a bunch of old folks looking at them, one of them gaping and holding a pair of dentures. He grabbed Kat's fists to stop her, afraid of giving the folks a heart attack.
"Listen, maybe we should take this somewhere else…"
"No! You two-timing, foul breathed, idiotic, fish paste, wily livered, apple John!"
"Ap- what? Hold it! You think I'm in love with Scotty?"
"He's in love with you!"
"And I'm in love with you!"
"I ha- huh?"
"I love you. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask you out, and I've been trying to find the right moment ever since that one night. The one where someone jacked my account on YWS."
"You wanted to ask me out?"
"Yeah… err… sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
"For asking you out so soon after you found out your boyfriend wasn't inte- in love with you."
Kat pushed a hand through her hair, exhaling.
"Nah, it's fine. I'm just really ticked. If anything, I should be planning Scotty's death, not yours. You wanna come over to my place?" she asked. After a moment, she looked around and saw all the old people standing around, looking at them. A little boy jumped out and took a picture. "Err…" she said.
"Yeah, I know. How about Pizza Hut?" Hunter asked.
Kat smiled and nodded, walking by his side. Boldly, Hunter touched her hand with his fingertips as they walked. Still smiling, she took his hand. Hunter fought the urge to bounce the rest of the way to Pizza Hut, where they shared a whole dessert pizza.

Kat and Hunter lived happily ever after.



Epilogue

Scotty walked and walked going around corners before crossing the road. He crossed another road and passed the snow-cone stand. He looked to his left to see grass and a pond with Canadian Geese, mallard ducks, and some other geese and ducks. He looked forward before looking to his right again to see Kat and Hunter sitting on the bench together, the bench the three of them would always meet at. Scotty passed that bench and another one before sitting on a different one. Then he heard a voice.
“Hi.” An old woman said to him.
“Uh…Hi? What are you doing here?” He asked, he didn’t even know this woman.
“I usually sit here. Why the long face?” She asked as she sat next to him.
“I am in love with a guy named Hunter, but he loved a girl named Kat, and now they are together!” Scotty said frowning. The old woman looked at Scotty then looked up, then back at Scotty.
“Well how about that guy over there? He looks pretty good.” She said pointing at Nate. Scotty looked up to see Nate walking by and Nate waved at him. Scotty let out a long sigh before speaking.
“Love at first sight.”
Last edited by Firearris on Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard appears "We have weasels now!"
[Firearris] 10:45 pm: askes the guard for the weasel!
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard gives Firearris the Weasel.
[Firearris] 10:46 pm: aquires the weasel and renames it "Cat"

Take that, Lumi.
  





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Sun Feb 10, 2008 8:54 pm
yoha_ahoy says...



Oh man, I died at the ending. It's kind of confusing in parts, but as i understand you rushed to finish it, and ti was late at night so you're excused. Very, very funny though. I seriously died laughing at it. ^_^ Great job!

~Yoyo 8)
@(^_^)@
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Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:15 pm
Crysi says...



...Love at first site.

*snorts* Perfect ending. I half-groaned, half-laughed at that. Good one.

Overall, nice story. Kind of has the same feel as the Empress Chronicles Dono used to write. And I'm glad everyone gets a happy ending. Or, at least, I hope Scotty gets a happy ending... Hah, I could totally picture Dono bouncing, too.

This was cute. Nice job.
Love and Light
  





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Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:30 pm
scotty.knows says...



*Dies*

*Revives self*

*Dies again*

Oh my god...

When I said someone could make me gay, I was only kidding, really, just to let people know I didn't care what they did. *Dies once more.*

I'm not sure how it would be perceived if I said, "I liked it."

But I thought it was great. Very funny. Seriously, I haven't laughed this hard at anything I've read on YWS since I've been here. Truly a kick in the pants.

Of course, Dono is going to be a total jerk to me from now on, but he already was kind of anyway, so, yeah.

It was a little confusing, in places, as yoha said, but it wasn't horrible.

Excellent job, though. Honestly hilarious.

*Note: I am straight and even though people are probably going to tease me about this, I would like to make it clear that I'm not queer. I get hit on by gay guys enough in the real world...

But it was still pretty funny.

Three thumbs up and five stars from me.
'Merikuh!
  





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Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:15 pm
GryphonFledgling says...



Poor Nate. *shakes head*

This was funny, but not as well written as the last one. There were a lot of typos that I don't really have time to point out because I am in a rush, and it was a little rushed in the narration too, like you were trying to wrap it up real quick-like. But I forgive you because it was funny.

Good luck in the contest.

~GryphonFledgling
I am reminded of the babe by you.
  





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Tue Feb 12, 2008 11:17 pm
bubblewrapped says...



*is too busy laughing to critique properly*

Thank you for brightening up my day XD I absolutely love the ending. The rest could use a bit of polishing - mostly syntax, punctuation and just general editing for errors. Otherwise, however, it's short, sweet and utterly hilarious. Cheers ;)

~bubbles
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)
  





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Wed Feb 13, 2008 4:13 am
MidnightVampire says...



*Dies of laughing, just like my sister said I would* So now I'm a ghost, trying to critique you between laughing and my fingers floating through the keyboard.

That was hilllarious, I think, not only could you win the romance contest, but a comedy one too. (even though its mostly romance). Besides a few spelling errors (that I could find, I can't really spell very well,) there weren't many mistakes. where you said, Hunter and Kat live happily ever after' I thought that was a little brief, but judging that you were trying to finish it I understand. I really like how you put users in here (poor nate though, but I bet he agrees its funny.)

I love the ending. Funny.
I realized that I said I'd be gone for only two weeks...but I was gone for much longer.I hope to stay on this time. :)
  








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