Oh, wow, this is so sad and moving. The main character's innocence is lost! :'(
The way you wrote and described each character makes me feel sympathy for the girl and contempt for the crazy man. That's good (for the lack of a better word). Good writers can easily make the readers have strong feelings for characters, and you sure did.
A little bit of work on punctuation would make this a tad better. Besides that, this was well-written.
I thought this was really well wriiten. Kudos to you for being able to stare your story, obviously you've had experiences in your life that made your strong and the person you are today. Because honestly I don't know what could be worse than being raped.
I can't wait to see what esle you've got.
P.s.- The title is pretty cool, and your writing pulled me right in.
"Show us, don't tell us!" They say, but sadly I realize I'm a storyteller. When I cross over and accept maturity, when I want to change then maybe I'll be willing to show people my prose and not tell them. As a writer I have to grow.
There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them. — J.K. Rowling
Gender:
Points: 1040
Reviews: 38