Chapter 8
When the door slammed shut behind me I found myself standing on a huge wooden stage looking out at the circular theatre room filled with judgmental teenagers- most of them going for the same part that I was. I felt my hands getting sweaty as the spotlight was directed straight at me, blinding me on the spot and making me squint my eyes to see who else was sitting in the audience.
The spotlight and I didn’t go so well. Me and standing on stage about to sing a song didn’t go so well either. Me and pressure added pressure to my stomach which might possibly make me get sick in front of everyone. I quickly pushed that thought away. I didn’t eat much for breakfast anyway- it’s not like I had anything in my stomach to barf out.
“Michelle O’Connor?” asked a middle aged, balding man wearing a black suit and glasses. He looked professional, the way
I imagined most directors to look like, with dark analyzing eyes and a detached smile. He was someone that was passionate about his job and…I was in serious shit right now.
“That’s me!” I said nervously, I heard something crash behind me and jumped up, glancing around to see Gary hastily moving away from the electric guitars. Derrick was already holding his, a small encouraging smile on his face.
“And you are going for the part of Eliza is that right?” asked the director, scribbling something down on his notepad.
“That’s right.” I told him, I assumed Eliza was the main character. I really should’ve read the notes Vanessa prepared for me.
The director waved a hand to signal the start of the audition and I grabbed hold of the microphone as the music began to play.
Everything in my head begged me to be silent, to not say a word and just to run off the stage and never come back again. I hated performing in front of people and this was the worst performance of my life. It’s not that I was saying it was shit, but that I’ve never been put under so much pressure as this. I quickly shut my eyes and opened my lips to sing out the first verse. I could hear Mike in the background adding his own vocals until I plucked up enough courage to go on.
Before I knew it I was singing along to the music, my mind conjuring up a picture of me running around my own room with a hairbrush and a blond wig. I wasn’t on stage, I was at home, I told myself over and over again. I can do this; I can most definitely do this. The music suddenly stopped and I found myself flooding back into reality, my eyes opening and gazing at the director. His hand was up and he was smiling.
“Michelle O’Connor,” he repeated scribbling something else down in his notepad, “We’re going to be doing some role play. As you know Eliza is meant to be in love with Tristan. Erik here will be playing the part of Tristan and it’ll be necessary for you two to have some chemistry. Can you do that for me?”
I nodded numbly, feeling my cheeks heating up at the thought of talking to Erik again. “Yes of course.”
“Erik.”
I saw the handsome blonde Erik make his way up the stage with his heartbreaking smile; he was wearing a checked shirt and jeans, a silver necklace wrapped around his neck with the pendant of a fang. It was a hot outfit, he looked hot in it and he was standing right here in front of me. I could’ve sworn I made a weird sound at the back of my throat and everyone heard me. Somehow, the audience suddenly ceased to exist and I was looking at his emerald eyes, watching as he came closer to me until he was directly opposite me, close enough to touch…just a bit too far away to kiss. I’ve never kissed anyone before and hell did I want to kiss him now.
“You two are meeting for the first time,” the director was saying, cutting through the private bubble I had created around us, “How would you two react? Eliza is madly in love with Tristan at first sight and is awkward around him. Three, two, one, go.”
“Eliza,” said Erik suddenly, his eyes turned warm and smothering, “Is that what your name is?”
I opened my mouth and tried to say something but nothing came out. I didn’t get it; I was talking fine to him the other few times! I tried again and found my voice, “Yes,” I said dreamily, “Eliza…and yours is Tristan. I saw you on Facebook…I mean…”
Erik’s lips turned up in amusement, “Why didn’t you add me?”
“I just didn’t see the point,” I found myself saying and shrugged, “You have some nice pictures…I mean…”
I heard the sound of chuckling in the audience and then someone telling them to be quiet. My heart started beating even
louder, fuck I was really making a fool of myself here. Half the stuff I was saying was exactly what I have been doing. Creeping on Erik’s Facebook page was becoming my latest hobby, something I wasn’t exactly willing to admit in public, right on stage where everyone could hear me. Me and my big fat mouth….again.
“That’ll be enough.”
That statement was enough to snap me out of my daze and I quickly bowed thanks and made my way down the stage and scurried through the long rows of seats to find Vanessa. My heart was beating furiously against my ribcage, threatening to burst out, my cheeks were hot and my eyes were tearing up for some reason.
“Michelle,” called Vanessa’s voice.
I quickly made my way towards her and sat down on the edge of the seat beside her. She was sitting at the back of the crowd on a row belonging to two guys and four more seats for the band. Vanessa looked delighted.
“I was shit,” I told her instantly, sinking lower in my seat and putting my feet up at the seat in front of us, “This has been the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done! Did you see me up there? I looked so damn stupid!”
“No you didn’t,” thrilled Vanessa, “You were awesome! Seriously- you sang with your eyes closed and completely abandoned half the dance moves I showed you but still you sang well and as for the role play- you might’ve said stuff you really should’ve kept to yourself but none of us know it’s true so you did well. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’ll try not to worry about it,” I told her, blowing upwards to soothe my burning cheeks.
The stage area was clearing up again and I saw the director leaning in to talk to a red haired woman. The curtains were closed and the audience was buzzing up with conversation. Snatches of conversation reached my ears but none of them were about the audition. On the contrary- they talked about school gossip and what they were going to do that evening. I caught someone saying how hot Erik was and that he already had a girlfriend.
“You were good,” said a female voice from beside Vanessa and I glanced up to see one of the guys leaning in to talk to us.
Ok, maybe it wasn’t a guy, I could see that now. The “guy” in question was actually a girl with short dark brown hair and light grey eyes. She had a nice slim face with prominent cheekbones and a full mouth. She wasn’t wearing any other makeup besides some eyeliner to bring out her eyes. She was wearing a grey hat and skinny jeans with a logoed t-shirt announcing the end of the world in 2012.
“Thanks,” I smiled, glancing at Vanessa to see her looking at the girl curiously.
“Everyone else just seemed like cocky sluts,” said the girl and laughed, “You were the only one that seemed the part.”
“Well you know me, I do try to fit in with the part,” I told her, her words were the only words that made me feel better today and I felt myself relaxing, “Most of those cocky sluts probably joined in because of Erik.”
“You think he’s hot too?”
“Well I can’t protest.”
“I don’t think he’s hot,” laughed the girl and held out a hand, “Hi, my name is Ivy by the way. I’m going to be in this play so you’ll be seeing a lot of me if you get in.”
“Ivy?” that name sounded way too girly, I expected something like Sam. I shook her hand and smiled, “I’m Michelle. And if I get in you will be seeing too much of me trust me.”
“Vanessa,” said Vanessa shaking the girl’s hand, her expression changed from curious to confused and then she dropped Ivy’s hand and leaned back in her seat.
“It’s nice to meet you two,” grinned Ivy and turned back to the guy beside her.
Vanessa and I exchanged a look and turned back to face the front. She seemed nice enough anyway.
I sat back in my seat and watched as act by act performed after me; each one was a girl with a short skirt and a good singing voice. Each one of them flirted their way into Erik’s heart and made me wish that I had stayed home instead of played along with this. I was sure that I wasn’t going to get in. Who was I kidding anyway?
I was miserable by the time the auditions finished and Vanessa dragged me towards the shopping centre. She was silent too. I assumed she was trying to plot other ways of getting April back because she was also sure that I wasn’t going to get that part. For some reason that thought comforted me. There were other ways of getting April back.
There were no other ways of getting Erik.
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