To sokool15- this becomes a romance I swear!! The romance part just won't come for several more chapters... this is really more of a supernatural story then a romance one, but it DOES turn into a romance, eventually... though, I can say that the romance might not be between who you think it will now...
Well, I hate to say it, but this will probably be my last update... at least for awhile anyway. I really feel that I'm not getting the feedback that I need on here... only one person has commented on my last three chapters (I actually had more then that on my first two). And while the comments have been helpful; it would be nice if I could get more then one persons opinion(s).
I really don't understand why I've hardly had anyone look at my story, is it the length? The idea? What is keeping people from commenting!?!? I REALLY want to know!!
I'm really trying to get involved on this site, so that more people will read my stuff, but it's really difficult because many of the things people are writing I don't like to read. I'm really picky when it comes to things that I read, they have to be in a certain category, otherwise, I won't read it.
Honestly, the way things are going, I think I'd just be better off at the other sites I post this story on because at least there I'm actually getting feedback.
I don't want to sound selfish, but I honestly just think that, at the present moment, I'm just wasting my time.
Here's chapter 6, for those few who are actually interested.
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Elizabeth jerked awake, breathing hard. She had had it again. That dream, the dream about Prom night, the night that he died…
She pushed the covers off of her clammy, shaking body and sat up, she moved towards the end of the bed and hung her legs over the edge. She glanced at the clock, 3:34. She groaned as she rolled her eyes and turned around so she could lay down, longways on the bed once more. But, something caught her eye, making her stop and take a second glance, almost giving herself whiplash in the process. Was that an envelope?
She raised an eyebrow. Well, that's what it looked like. At a closer glance she realized that it was an envelope.
“What the hell?” she muttered, that wasn’t there before, was it? No, she was sure of it…
She grasped it lightly in her rather shaking hands, so where had it come from? She kept her door and window locked.
Elizabeth
Was what was written on the front and she found herself opening it out of curiosity with her shaky hands. Inside, she found a single piece of paper inside.
You look beautiful when you’re sleeping… but especially when you’re having a nightmare. You have a beautiful scream, has anyone ever told you that?
She stared at the paper in shock. She screamed beautifully? What the hell was that? And who was it from? How had they gotten in here? A million other questions surfaced in her brain. She glanced around her room as if looking for the suspected person, but of course they were long gone.
But she could sense it, she could feel that they were there. Her chest tightened. Someone had been in her room, watching her sleep. But who? She shuddered and rolled her eyes knowing very well that she didn’t even have to ask that question; she had a pretty good idea of who it was.
David.
She shivered, at the thought of him being in her room. Looking at her stuff, touching her stuff and touching her. She shuddered. She would deal with him tomorrow. That she was sure of.
She put the piece of paper back in the envelope and placed it back on her bedside table and laid back down trying to go back to sleep. But the fact that he had been in her room and watching her creeped her out and she found it hard to go back to sleep, but she did… eventually.
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“What the hell are you playing at?” were the first words she uttered to him the next morning.
“And good morning to you too.” he said, nodding to her, as she sat down in her seat, in front of his. If she had it her way, she would have moved seats. But, unfortunately, Mr. Comston had the great idea of giving them assigned seats. And, how wrong she believed him to be because of it.
“Don’t you dare do that! You sicko! You watched me sleep last night! You were in my room! You wrote me a note! You creep! I told you to stay away from me!” she snarled, trying to keep her voice low, as to not draw attention to their conversation.
He shrugged.
“You were breaking and entering!” she accused, pointing a finger at him.
He grabbed her finger quite suddenly and pushed her hand back onto his desk. “Oh, was I really? Did you see any signs of me doing such a thing?” he whispered, not letting go of her hand where he had it planted on the desk that sat between them. “And, if I were you, I wouldn’t point, it’s not very nice, you know.”
“Oh, and you would know all about being nice, wouldn’t you?” she asked, trying to get her hand out from under his, but his grip tighten making her hand immobile. “Let go!” she snarled, trying to pull his hand off of her right hand with her left one. But he simply trapped that one in his other hand. Making it impossible for her to turn around.
“Who’s Andy?” he asked, quite suddenly, changing the subject and surprising her.
“What?” she stopped struggling for a few moments to stare at him. “Excuse me?” she whispered.
“You heard me, Elizabeth.”
“You bastard! How dare you!” she snarled, she said ripping her hands away from his, in her anger she was able to do so. She whirled away from him and transfixed her eyes on her notebook.
But, she felt them, the tears pricking at her eyes, wanting to come, but she wouldn’t, not in front of them, and especially not in front of him.
“Aw, did I hit a sore spot?” he muttered in her ear, making her shiver, as his cold breath tickled her neck.
“Leave me alone.” she growled dangerously low. “I told you to stay away from me.” she muttered darkly, “I did not stutter. What? Do you have a hearing problem?” she asked sarcastically, still not looking at him.
She refused to look at him; there had been something in his eyes. Something that had truly terrified her.
“And I told you, I always get what I want, Elizabeth.” he whispered, just as quietly as before.
She closed her eyes tightly. What did she do to deserve this? She was a good girl, she went to school and Church and got pretty decent grades and hardly got into any trouble. Yet, God still liked to torture her, but this was low… even for Him.
A crush she could handle, but David was no ordinary crush, he was a psycho. And okay, he was a really hot psycho, but that didn’t make it much better.
She sighed in relief when the bell rang and Mr. Comston stood up to begin class. She had never been so happy to start class before.
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Elizabeth was tense all day… and very jumpy. It was so out of character for her that her friends started wondering if everything was alright.
“Are you okay, Elizabeth?” Katie asked, as they made their way to the bus lanes that afternoon.
She looked at her friend, “Yea, I’m fine, why?” But she already knew the answer.
Katie shrugged, “I don’t know, you’ve just been really jumpy today. I’m just worried for you that’s all.” she smiled.
“Thanks, Katie, but really I’m fine,” she lied; she didn’t need to have her friend’s worrying about her. Not like she would believe her if she told her, most everyone at the school thought that David was some sort of God, even the teachers. It was enough to make her ill.
“Alright.” Katie said before she broke off heading for her own bus, she stopped and turned around, “Oh yea, I’m going to go shopping tomorrow night to get something for the show on Saturday, want to come?” she questioned.
“Sure, but I got to make sure it’s alright with my parents.” Katie rolled her eyes. She knew as well as Elizabeth that her parents would say ‘yes’ as long as her homework was done. Elizabeth rolled her eyes as she made her way to her own bus, which was a few buses after Katie’s.
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David watched her getting on her bus from where he sat in his car. There was no need to follow her today. He already had a plan and it did not involve getting on the bus with her.
He grinned, a very predatory look. His plan was about ready to be taken into action.
He glanced to his right to see his helper, a boy a little younger then himself by the name of Adam, in this great endeavor, the only one who was willing to go against Darren’s direct orders. He was too stupid to know what would happen when Darren found out, which he would. And for his stupidness, David was ever grateful.
“Ready?” he asked the boy.
The boy nodded as a response and they sped out of the parking lot and straight to their destination.
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Elizabeth sighed as she walked down the street; it was a beautiful day for walking outside. Even if it was getting a little chilly due to the ending of September and the coming of October, it was still nice out. But that was what it was like to live in New York.
The leaves on most of the trees had already turned beautiful shades of orange, yellow and red. She just loved fall, it was, to her the perfect season, especially during this month because it wasn’t too hot or too cold.
She must have been daydreaming for longer then she had planned to because she found herself almost passing her house. She doubled back, blushing, even though she knew no one could see her. Or at least that’s what she thought.
She let herself in and dumped her stuff by the stairs as usual. “I’m home!” she called.
She looked around, it was really quiet… Quieter then normal. The boys had usually come and tackled her by now and she could usually hear the sound of the t.v. from the living room, but there was nothing… not a single sound could be heard in the big house.
The silence scared her, “Hello?” she called, “mom, dad?” she asked as she began wandering around, just a little worried because someone was home by this time. Someone was always home. She checked for a note, but didn’t see one
“Okay, come on, this isn’t funny!” she called. But still there was no answer and no one came out of hiding.
This was getting scarier by the minute… something was seriously wrong. She made her way up the steps, to find that all the room doors open and clothes, thrown everywhere in the rooms as well as outside and in the hallway. “What the hell?” she muttered.
She made her way back downstairs and checked the garage, one car was in there the other one wasn’t… well, then that meant that someone should be home… she took a closer look at the car and realized that it was neither her mother’s nor her father’s.
She felt her chest tightened in fear at the thought that some stranger had parked their car in her garage and had proceeded to come in, she only assumed that because there seemed to be no one in the car, but she was not about to get closer and find out.
The sound of something falling and crashing to the floor above her head made her jump and she turned back around, closing the door behind her and locking the door. She looked around frantically, trying to find a weapon, she noticed the umbrella stand a few feet away, she grabbed the biggest one she could find and made for the stairs. “Whose there?” she was able to make out even though she was scared out of her mind.
She stepped up the steps at an extra slow pace; brandishing the umbrella in a threatening manner in front of her, even though no one was there to see her. She would use it if she had to. She just hoped she wouldn’t need to.
She made it to the top of the stairs. It had been deathly quiet since that one crash…she jumped again, when she heard it and whirled around to go the way that she heard it come from. Her parents room…
She tiptoed, though she didn’t know why, it’s not like they didn’t know she was there, they had heard her scream. At least, they probably had.
She stepped into the doorway and gasped at what she saw. Her parents’ room was in complete disarray. Clothes were strewn about the room, the bed was unmade and the pillows and sheets were everywhere. Her mother’s fine jewelry was everywhere as well. It seemed like everything in the room was broken or on the floor… so that’s what she had heard.
But where was the perpetrator? She looked around, there was no one here… No one but her.
She was about to take a step into the room when she was suddenly grabbed from behind and pulled into a very tough chest. She opened her mouth to scream but before she could make a sound a hand clamped over her mouth, preventing her from doing such a thing. She began struggling, but she found that this person, whoever they were, was a lot stronger then she was.
She jerked around as the unknown person, began dragging her away from her parents room and towards the stairs. She tried using the umbrella that she still held in her clutches, but her captor simply ripped it from her hands and threw it away from them, so she could not reach it.
“Now, we can do this the hard way, or the easy way, which will it be?” the person asked, though the voice sounded muffled like they were speaking through a mask of some sort. So, it was near impossible to figure out who they were. All she knew was that her captor was probably male, judging by the amount of strength as well as the deep voice that had just spoken a few seconds before.
He let go of her mouth long enough for her to answer, “Let me go, you bastard.” she snarled.
He chuckled, “the harder way it is then.” He said as his hand came over her mouth once more, but this time it had something in it, a dirty old dishrag that smelled funny.
It was chloroform, Elizabeth didn’t know how she knew it, but somehow she did and that was her last conscious thought before her world went black.
Nasty.
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