A kiss. Just a simple kiss. And now he's gone.
I had woken up early that morning. I don't know, something... something was just not letting me sleep. I'm not very superstitious and all, but it was spooky... especially what happened later that morning. Maybe it was a sign from God. Maybe He wanted me up early that morning so I could wake John up. Wake him up and just leave the city. But I didn't. I didn't wake him up. I just sat there worried.
I eventually dragged my old bag of bones out of bed to the shower. I groped for the light switch in the dark, eventually finding it victoriously. Once there was light, I slid my warm hand around the cold, metal handle of the shower handle and turned the water on. The sudden jolt of liquid hitting the other side of the shower made me jump. That always happens. While I waited for the water to heat up, I stood in front of the mirror just staring at my reflection, pointing out every single imperfection of my body. My brunette hair stood up in every direction from tossing and turning all night. My eyes were sunken and grey with wrinkles protruding from the corners. Crow’s feet as most might call them. My laugh lines had grown more and more obvious over the years. Years of joy, sorrow, pain, and love. I blanked out, just thinking of all the times I had had in my lifetime. Thirty eight years... hey I'm still young. I thought of John and our first date. I thought of how much he loved me. I thought of our wedding day. He was so handsome in that black tuxedo. I thought of kids and my whole body shuddered. My mind jolted back to reality as I realized that the shower was still running. I slipped out of my pajamas and slowly walked over the the shower door, pulled it open, and slid inside. The warm water felt so good running down my aching back. Showers were my favorite. They were relaxing and stress reducing. Most of the time, I wished they would last forever. This morning was one of those times. I poured shampoo into my waiting hands and massaged it into my scalp. I closed my eyes and exhaled. A small smile came across my face. This was the life.
Once I finished washing myself, I turned the water off, wrapped a towel around my warm body, and stepped out of the warm shower into the cold, cold world. I hated the feeling of going from warm to cold, so fast. I wondered if babies felt that when they were born. Once again, my body shivered and not from the cold. Children... children just repulsed me. I always wondered why John would want such a horrid thing! All they do is want, want, want. They never give. They cost a lot of money to feed and care for. Besides, we are doing just fine on our own. Or are we? I was too tired to think anymore so I grabbed my favorite outfit, a black and red floral dress with ballet flats, and pulled it on. Once that was done, I combed my hair (exactly twenty five times on each side) and found my way to the kitchen.
In the kitchen I completely forgot what I was going to do. I racked my mind, trying to figure something out but I just couldn't remember. I waited for that 'aha' moment that usually came after pondering for a few moments, but it never came. I decided to make John a pot of coffee and get him some muffins from the bakery a few blocks from our apartment. I measured one tablespoon of coffee grounds and put it in the filter. Once that was done, I put one cup of water in the tank and pressed the 'on' button. Coffee was so easy to make. A tablespoon of grounds to every cup of water. Just that simple. I walked to the kitchen table, grabbed my purse, and headed out the door. Normally I would have left a note for when he woke up, but today I wanted it to be a surprise.
Feeling especially refreshed after stepping outside, I decided to walk to the bakery instead of drive. This also gave me more time to think. Today was one of those days that you spend thinking, but you don't even know what you're thinking about. Your mind just feels occupied. It's a very weird feeling. Within thirty minutes, I came to the entrance of the bakery. I pulled open the door, and was hit with a gust of cold wind.
"Bonjour Madame!" cried the extremely jubilant baker.
"Ah oui! Je veux deux croissant avec la creme." I replied, hoping he would understand my terrible French.
"D'accord!" he replied.
I sighed with relief. He understood me. As I waited for him to place the croissants in a bag, I took in all of the sights, sounds, and smells of the place. I loved the bakery in the morning. No people, no crowd, no annoyances. Just you and the food. I liked that. He placed the wax paper bag in my waiting hands.
"Merci beacoup!" I said as I turned and walked out.
"De rien!" was his jolly response.
I was tempted to eat my croissant on the walk home, but I forced myself to save it to eat with John when he woke up. As I got closer and closer to the apartment, it felt more and more like I was walking through a tunnel. My whole body just wanted to curl up in a ball on the ground. I felt strangely... weak. I pushed through this new feeling, and made it up the stairs, and to our door. As I turned the knob and stepped inside, something felt different. I shrugged this off as nothing and placed the food in the kitchen on my way to our room. Right when I stepped foot in our room, I noticed his suit was gone. How could I forget?! Just the night before, he had told me he wanted to go to work early to think or something like that. I sighed and sat down on the bed. I still felt weak, so I decided to take a short nap.
I woke up a half hour later and started my mid morning routine.
1) Get up.
2) Brush your hair.
3) Brush your teeth.
4) Eat breakfast.
When I got to four, I just sat alone at the kitchen table, eating my croissant. I felt so pathetic, so I decided to eat breakfast while doing step five.
5) Watch the news.
I turned on the small, portable TV that we have on our kitchen counter/ bar and tuned it to channel seven; the news. They were interviewing some random woman that I didn't know who had gotten robbed, when it switched to breaking news. I remember tearing part of my croissant off so I could eat it (I hate biting off food) and then hearing these small seven words.
The World Trade Center has been attacked.
Everything went black.
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