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My Dark Angel- Prologue



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Wed Sep 28, 2011 9:48 pm
youngwolf1105 says...



Life had never meant much to me. I'd been careless, reckless even, if there was a difference. I just hadn’t cared. But that all changed within a week. Then after that my life settled into what is now my ordinary life. Even though, I can’t call it normal or ordinary.
  





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Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:28 pm
youngwolf1105 says...



This in only a little bit. I'd decided to break this apart from the 1st Chapter.
We were made to corageous,
We're taking back the fight.
We were made to be corageous,
And it starts with us tonight.

And the only way we'll stand,
Is on our knees with lifted hands.
Make us corageous,
Lord make us corageous. - Casting Crowns
  





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Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:46 pm
Island6 says...



Wow, that's a really short prologue! Honestly, you might as well just make it a part of the first chapter since it's so short. It was interesting though. Makes me wonder what happened to your main character to make them change.
<3
  





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Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:58 pm
youngwolf1105 says...



i know it's really short, but i like to make it really mysterious. i'm working on typing out the 1st chapter!
We were made to corageous,
We're taking back the fight.
We were made to be corageous,
And it starts with us tonight.

And the only way we'll stand,
Is on our knees with lifted hands.
Make us corageous,
Lord make us corageous. - Casting Crowns
  





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Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:04 pm
Deathcurrent says...



You might want to add just a smidgen more to the prologue. Then it will be a nice short prologue with the benefit of being longer to get us readers thinking, while keeping it mysterious.
“Logic and practical information do not seem to apply here.” -- Spock from Star Trek

"There's power in stories. That's all history is: the best tales. The ones that last. Might as well be mine."-- Varric Tethras from Dragon Age II
  





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Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:09 pm
youngwolf1105 says...



thanks for the advice, i don't always have that problem. This is the shortest prologue i've ever written.... scratch that, it's not!
We were made to corageous,
We're taking back the fight.
We were made to be corageous,
And it starts with us tonight.

And the only way we'll stand,
Is on our knees with lifted hands.
Make us corageous,
Lord make us corageous. - Casting Crowns
  





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Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:29 pm
FutureFamousWriter says...



i'm hooked! what a great prologue! my prologue for one of my stories is really short too, so don't worry too much about how short it is. i'll post it for you to check out- its called World War 3 prologue. check it out if you want to.

:)
  





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Thu Sep 29, 2011 2:22 am
theLockedLibrary says...



Wow, that was really short! Haha, but it was still really wonderful. I think you've captured a sense of mystery very well, and I can't wait to read more of it! But, since this is a review, I would advise you to change the "prologue" in your title to "epigraph." I suppose you could call it a prologue if you would like, but if it really is, then it definitely should be longer. Also, a prologue is, well, how do I put this? More of a "pre-scene" in the story. An epigraph would describe this much better since it suggests a theme. One last thing. In "Then after that..." there should be a comma after "that".
Otherwise, I liked it a lot! I'll be glad to review more of your work! =D
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often helplessly,
into another's skin,
another's voice,
another's soul.
  





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Thu Sep 29, 2011 8:46 am
WaitingForLife says...



Hey!

So I'm gonna do the obvious think and point out that it might be a bit too short. But then again, I did want to know what happened next, so that might not be a problem cause it worked how it was supposed to. Size doesn't always matter.

I've one critique. I'd cut the 'then' in:
Then after that my life settled into what is now my ordinary life.

It seems sort of useless, as then means the same as after that. And having merely 'after that' would flow better from the previous sentence.

But yeah, even though this was short, it makes you want to read more. I admit, this is soooort of a clichéd start, but you know what? It's clichéd because it works, and people have noticed it. So I don't see a big problem there either. Tell me when the first chapter is up if you would!

|Life|
Call me crazy; I prefer 'enjoys life while one can'.
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Thu Sep 29, 2011 2:55 pm
youngwolf1105 says...



thanks for the reviews ya'll! i really appreciate it! i wanted to make it way longer, but i couldn't really figure out how without repeating something. hey, watingforlife, thanks for the advice about the "then", i hadn't saw it intill you pointed it out, thanks!
We were made to corageous,
We're taking back the fight.
We were made to be corageous,
And it starts with us tonight.

And the only way we'll stand,
Is on our knees with lifted hands.
Make us corageous,
Lord make us corageous. - Casting Crowns
  





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Wed Oct 05, 2011 8:03 pm
Maelstrom says...



I think it's a good prologue. Short but sweet. I like it and I really want to know what your character's story is. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE LIKE TWILIGHT!!!! As long as its original and you keep going on the track that you seem to be on right, I think you got a good book on your hands. G.E.W.D gewd
  





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Sun Oct 09, 2011 4:44 pm
Rydia says...



Hi! Sorry I didn't respond to this earlier, if I'd looked at how short it is, I'd have come sooner! But never mind, here's a few things for you to consider:

1. Tense! Okay so this would be much more powerful in present tense, which can be a little tricky, but since it's going to be a prologue, you could have just this section in present an then change for the main story. Look, I'll show you just how cool itt would be. First, here's yours:

Life had never meant much to me. I'd been careless, reckless even, if there was a difference. I just hadn’t cared. But that all changed within a week. Then after that my life settled into what is now my ordinary life. Even though, I can’t call it normal or ordinary.


And in present tense...

Life didn't mean much to me. I didn't care, have never cared. I'm what you might call reckless. It's strange, how a short, sweet week can change that. But now I open my eyes and I don't want to die, I want to live like ordinary people. Not that my life is anything you could call ordinary.

Okay so it's rough and a bit quick but get the idea?

2. This seems more like a synopsis than a prologue? That's the writing which goes on that back of the book and makes people want to read it. But hey, it's got a certain intrigue about it.

3. It's too short to say anything else ;)

Well there you go, maybe that's given you something to think about at least :)

Heather xxx
Writing Gooder

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Mon Oct 10, 2011 3:02 pm
youngwolf1105 says...



Thanks, I can't tell you how many times I've wrote different ones, but none of them fit just right.
We were made to corageous,
We're taking back the fight.
We were made to be corageous,
And it starts with us tonight.

And the only way we'll stand,
Is on our knees with lifted hands.
Make us corageous,
Lord make us corageous. - Casting Crowns
  





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Sun Nov 06, 2011 3:06 pm
adorkableXxme says...



It got me kind of interested but it's really short, you should think of maybe making it a little longer, or maybe this can be the little summary you always read on the back of the books. Anyways, it was pretty good so I think I'll read chapter 1 now. Good luck in future writings, Hunn.
"Love keeps hatin' on me, so I hate love, I hate love..." I hate love- Jojo
  








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