(Oh yeah--rated 12+ for some minor violence.)------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smash Bros. New Adventure Story
Prologue
It was a dark and stormy night. The wind moaned and howled outside the ominous and imposing Castle of the Ancients. Inside its dungeon, the prisoners groaned against their enchanted iron chains. Finally, Ike couldn't stand it anymore. "Let us the heck out of here, you--you monster!"
All the others agreed and grumbled against their captor. But they were quickly silenced by a deep, thundering voice. "You are my captives now, and if you do not obey, you will be thrown into the great Furnace of Heat!" At this, the fiery chamber by their jail cells suddenly came to life and crackled furiously. They nervously retreated into their cells, which they knew they would waste away in for eternity; there was no hope for them. Unless someone, a true hero, could rise above all the forces of evil. But how was that possible? They'd all been captured, even the strongest of them! So why did they still long for freedom?
Chapter 1
"I can't wait! I'm so excited to see Mario, Peach, Link, Zelda...all of the heroes that fought against Tabuu! Wasn't he a terrible, human-like monster?" the black-haired thirteen-year-old girl asked, her eyes shining as she playfully danced around her brown-haired mentor and guide, Tohru.
"Calm yourself, LiQian," Tohru gently warned. (That's what LiQian loved about Tohru--she was never harsh, but firm when needed, and Tohru was always kind and gentle as well.) "Remember that none of the impulsive nature can enter the sacred Courtyard of Cleansing of the Heroes' Palace. But yes, Tabuu was terrible. He--or it, shall I say--took many different forms and used different tactical maneuvers to get what it wanted."
LiQian nodded and continued walking behind Tohru on the path leading to the Heroes' Palace. This was where all the heroes who had previously defeated Tabuu, the all-time worst monster, lived. It was considered the greatest honor to be able to live in the Heroes' Palace. If anyone was invited to come live there, they immediately accepted and moved their belongings to the Palace.
Tohru and LiQian walked through the open gateway and went to the Courtyard. Instantly, they knew something was wrong. No one else was there; all was silent. Not a leaf stirred. The wind died down, and the sun's heat succumbed to the still, cold air.
LiQian frowned; Tohru tensed. There must be something we missed, Tohru thought. Where are all the heroes? And what about the little animals that used to always be here--the squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, and all the birds? They looked suspiciously around them.
It's quiet, LiQian thought as she narrowed her eyes. Too quiet.
At that instant, a herald voice proclaimed, "Charge!"
Immediately, Tohru and LiQian were surrounded by Primids of all kinds--Big Primids, Boom Primids, you name it. As the green, bug-eyed Primids formed a circle around them and started creeping closer, Tohru and LiQian grabbed their daggers from their belts and stood back-to-back, watching the Primids' every move.
Suddenly, when the mass of Primids came about five feet away from Tohru and LiQian, they stopped. After an awkward silence of about thirty seconds, LiQian muttered, "Oh, what the heck. We need to get this over with!"
Her dagger started slashing through the giant horde of Primids and everything seemed jumbled and crowded, with the millions of those things; they seemed robotic and dead, only following their unknown leader's orders. The Boom Primids were particularly annoying, because they attacked both short- and long-range with their boomerangs. Once LiQian had taken down all of the Boom Primids by bringing their health down to zero, she turned to help Tohru, who was fighting the regular Primids and the Big Primids. Just when Tohru and LiQian destroyed the Primids some cloud-like monsters appeared in the sky!
"Watch out," Tohru immediately warned LiQian. "I've had a lot of experience with these thugs when Tabuu tried to rule the world. See that little red bucket on their heads? That's what controls their reactions. Here comes one now!"
LiQian quickly learned the cloud-monsters' strategy; if someone wasn't paying attention, they'd get electrocuted before they even blinked, and if anybody attacked those thugs, they retaliated by turning dark black and zapping every good guy they could with violent forked lightning. It was interesting, learning how to beat special types of monsters.
But it was also incredibly draining--LiQian had to jump up right next to those floating clouds to attack them, and it was annoying, constantly having to dodge their lightning blasts. Eventually, after a huge amount of effort on her part in taking down tens of hundreds of cloud-monsters, there was only one cloud left in the sky. She sighed and watched it closely. It just stayed in that same spot in the sky, so she decided to look for Tohru. LiQian suddenly spotted her sprinting across the Courtyard towards her. "Watch out, LiQian!"
She turned and saw the cloud moving as if in slow-motion. A bolt darted out from within its puffy white folds; she reacted quickly and barely dodged the blast. Grabbing her dagger, she slashed through the monster numerous times. When she finally got rid of the last cloud monster, she was exhausted. But as she sat down to rest, she came to with a jolt--Tohru had just called for help! LiQian thrust her dagger back in its place along her belt and sprinted off after Tohru's captor, a hooded figure of some kind.
"Hey, let go of her, you fiend!" LiQian shouted. The figure did not even turn around, but merely waved its free hand at her. Suddenly, a huge, gel-like wall sprang up in front of her. She frantically tried to climb the wall, but the gel-like plasma came off in clumps off the wall. And every time a chunk of plasma came off the wall, it grew taller and wider.
She slammed her fists on the wall. "Let her go! You can't separate us forever!" The wall responded by putting on an extra protection layer of electricity. LiQian nervously tapped the wall lightly. The next instant, she pulled her arm away. "Ow!" After a few more tries, she at last gave up and turned back the way she'd come. When she reached the center of the Courtyard, she stopped there and stood motionless, honoring her friend, guide, mentor....
Suddenly, the wind picked up. It jerked her hair this way and that, as if it was telling her to turn around. Sighing, she did so. To her amazement, a solitary door stood there! She walked up to it. Tohru was gone; LiQian was all alone without anyone to help her. She shivered in the biting wind, then opened the door and stepped over the threshold.
To be continued...
Reviewers of the 1st, poorly-written edition, you can review this if you want. No obligation, though! I just want some opinions on how much improved this version is as compared to the first one. A link to the original: here. However, any reviews just on this part are fine as well! All that's wanted from me are some reviews on this piece.
It shows Tohru's character.
Gender:
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Reviews: 83