The last few days had been void of all feeling. I had mostly concentrated on my job and avoiding all other people, Charlie included. After pushing Jacob away, and running upstairs to escape my emotions, I’m sure that he was angry with me, since I hadn’t heard from him at all. I suppose that I couldn’t blame him, after he’d been so vulnerable with me. Why couldn’t I just take Edward’s advice to heart? Maybe it was impossible, as he’d strewn me wrong before.
I went through another day of numbness. Work was humdrum. I expected to go home and be left to my senses. Unfortunately, for the first time in his career, Charlie had arrived home early. I hoped that he would mind his business, as usual, but that wasn’t the case.
“Good evening, Bella,” he greeted me with.
“Hi, Dad,” I responded.
“So, I decided that maybe we could have dinner together tonight. At the diner,” Charlie remarked. I could tell that Charlie had had his heart set on eating dinner with me. I supposed it wouldn’t hurt, if he absolutely wanted me to go to the diner with him.
“Sounds good,” I replied. I was disappointed. I presumed that I wasn’t allowed to be alone tonight. I hurried up the stairs to my room, to change clothes. Dinner alone with Charlie. Of course, if he had wanted to eat here, I could cook something. That wouldn’t be as bad as going out, where there was no way to avoid conversation.
* *
After we had been seated, Charlie announced that he had to use the restroom. When a few minutes had passed, I began to wonder if he was okay. I was ready to ask a waiter to check on him, when the last person I thought I’d see appeared at my table.
“Bella,” Jacob uttered. I looked up in surprise.
“I told Charlie to bring you here tonight,” Jacob explained. “We need to talk.”
I hung my head in shame, a rush of guilt flooding over me.
“I’m sorry, Jake. It’s just, well, the other night…” I trailed off.
“Bella, all that matters is that we’re together. If you’re not ready for other things, I understand. I just want to be with you,” he admitted.
He really had me. I had hoped that I wouldn’t start to cry, but it was too late. Jacob reached over and wiped my eye.
“Could you-would you…give me a chance, Bella?” I couldn’t bear seeing Jacob so miserable.
I knew at that point, something would have to give. Having both Edward and Jacob just wasn’t possible. As much as it hurt to admit it, there really was no choice to make. Edward was gone.
“Jacob,” I replied, shutting my eyes, “I’ve made my decision. I guess…I could give you a chance.” I opened my eyes at that moment, to view his reaction. He was grinning from ear to ear.
“You’ve made me so happy, Bella,” Jacob responded. “I promise I’ll never, ever hurt you. No matter what, okay?” He glanced at me, to which I gave a small smile.
“Now, let’s order. I’m starving!” he exclaimed.
Jacob ate more slowly than was usual for him, I suppose, to keep pace with me. While we were eating, he reached under the table and caressed my hand softly a few times.
After we finished dinner, Jacob cleared his throat.
“Bella? Would you like a ride home?” he asked.
“Um, sure, Jake. That’d be nice, since Charlie drove me here.” And abandoned me, I thought wryly. “Speaking of Charlie, where is he?” I wondered.
“He met Billy at Sue Clearwater’s. It’s Seth’s birthday,” Jacob replied.
“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t know.” Seth was a nice kid. I felt sort of bad for missing his special day. “How old is he?” I asked.
“Eighteen, finally. Seth’s been anxious to come and work for Embry and I, and now that he’s of legal age, he can,” Jacob responded.
I stood up from the booth, grabbing my jacket. Jacob paid the waitress, and we left for home.
* *
Jacob and I pulled up to my house at around nine o’clock. He got out of the car very quickly, and came over to my door to open it.
“Thanks, Jake,” I said.
“No problem, Bella. Say, do you have anything you need to do?” he asked.
“Well, no, not really. Did you have something in mind?” I questioned. Jacob blushed a bit.
“Mind if I come inside for a little while?” he wondered.
“Don’t you need to go to Seth’s party?” I asked.
“Nah, I’ve already given him his present. A tool set,” Jacob replied.
“In that case, sure. I could show you what I have finished so far with the blueprints,” I remarked.
Jacob and I walked up the stairs. I fished in my purse for my house key. It was nowhere to be found.
“Is there a problem, Bella?” Jacob asked me.
“I can’t find my keys,” I told him.
“Are you sure? I mean, your dad won’t be here for a few hours probably,” Jacob said.
“They must be on my desk. Crap.” I was a little frustrated about forgetting my keys inside.
“Do you want me break in?” he asked.
“No, Jake, that’s fine. Besides, how would it look when Chief Swan was called on his daughter breaking into their house?” I laughed.
“You’re right, Bella. But what can we do until then?” Jacob asked.
“Are you sure that you don’t have anything to attend to?” I asked.
“I’m positive….If you don’t mind, maybe we could sit in my car and listen to music?” Jacob said.
“I suppose that would be okay,” I replied. Both of us got back in the car. Jacob reached under his seat and pulled out a folder.
“I have Paramore, Linkin Park, Metallica, Avenged Sevenfold, System of a Down-”
“Paramore is fine,” I interrupted. Jacob put the CD in his player. We listened to around five songs before Jacob succumbed to being alone together. I knew when he “yawned” that he was going to stretch, and wrap his arm around my shoulders. Was I okay with that? I guess it wouldn’t hurt as long as he wasn’t too touchy.
When the CD was over, Jacob moved a little closer to me.
“Bella?” he asked.
“Yes?” I responded.
“Would you mind, I mean, do you think I could maybe…?” he drifted off.
“Would I mind if…?” I wondered.
“I wanted to know if it’d be okay for me to kiss you,” Jacob asked. “You know, after the other day, I wasn’t sure. You were a little freaked.
“Yeah, I guess I was,” I replied.
Did I want to kiss him? Should I? It’d make him happy, wouldn’t it? I nodded. Jacob smiled. He reached out and gently moved my face towards his before making his move.
* *
We’d made out for about half an hour before the lights of Charlie’s cruiser shone through the windows of Jacob’s car. The scenario of being in the car of my date, while enamored in passion and caught by my father, made me feel like a kid again. Charlie got out of his car and came over to Jake’s. He tapped on the window.
“Bells?” he asked. Jacob opened his door.
“Bella lost her house keys so we stayed here to wait for you,” Jacob insisted.
“How was the party, Dad?” I wondered.
“It ran longer than I expected. A few of Seth’s friends put on a dance competition at the last moment, and wanted me to judge,” Charlie explained, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
“A dance contest?” Jacob scoffed. “Must have been a sight.”
“Yeah, I really enjoyed seeing Harry and Sue. They loved watching the kids,” Charlie said. “So, what have you two been up to? Did you get a chance to talk?”
“We had plenty of time, Dad. I was locked out, remember?” I told him.
“Of course, Bella. I suppose you’d like to come inside now. And you, Jake?” he asked.
“I’d love to, but I’ve got to pick up Billy,” Jake replied.
“Another time, then,” Charlie responded. Jacob got out of the car, walked over to my door and opened it for my retreat.
“Bella,” he said softly.
“I’ll call you,” I told him, as Charlie and I walked inside.
From the look on Charlie’s face when he spotted Jake and I inside his car, he knew that we had been up to more than just talking. I knew he’d probably let it go. Subjects like dating embarrassed Charlie to no end. Luckily, that meant that I had received the “sex talk” from Renée. I was sure that Charlie would be too uncomfortable to even bring up his concerns about the situation.
After I finally was able to enter my house, I walked up the stairs. Instead of going straight to bed, I posted a new entry in my anonymous blog. Really, who (or what) else could I tell my innermost personal thoughts to?
Finishing up my entry, I decided to scan some late-night television. Normally, the only programs airing at this hour were either news or badly written sitcoms. Tonight was different. I came across a program on abnormal psychology. It seemed fairly interesting, so I lay down on my bed to watch.
The TV program concentrated on memories. I had missed the first fifteen minutes, and they were now discussing subdued, unconscious memories. I settled into my bed, instantly interested in the topic. As I viewed, I learned that the mind was unique in that it was able to repress vivid memories that a person truly did not want to remember. I seemed to have escaped the luxury, I thought to myself. I still had every painful memory of when Edward left me. The sound of static snapped me out of my depressive thoughts and I focused back on the television, only to see the screen had become fuzzy. I squinted through the static as the picture began to come back into focus. My mouth dropped as a face began to appear. I knew that face. It was Edward’s face.
He looked at me for a moment and then disappeared back into the fog. I looked down at the remote control in my hand and noticed that it was shaking violently. As I raised the remote to change the channel, I noticed another image coming into picture on the screen. I blinked once, terrified. As the face of Tom Cruise came into focus, I let out a sigh of relief. This quickly turned to dismay when I realized what film had decided to appear on my television screen. Interview with the Vampire.
I quickly shut the television off. Could I have been imagining this? It was very unlikely that I had done so. Of course, seeing a real, live, person’s face in the television static (in Edward’s case, he wasn’t live) could spook anyone. I decided that I would sleep with the closet light on tonight. It wouldn’t do any good to lock my window, as Edward’s vampire state allowed him to simply go anywhere he wanted to.
What was I thinking? I was with Jacob now. Edward was no longer a part of my life. Then again, he had been such a big part of my life before. I was much too tired to think. How could I even fall asleep?
A tapping noise came from my window. I looked over, only to see two bronze-colored eyes looking back at me.
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