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Letter from Uncle Sam to Iran



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Points: 1532
Reviews: 32
Sun Nov 13, 2011 6:51 am
pettybage says...



Dear Iran,
The lawd knows my heart is heavy as I write these lines, but there are things which must be said.

You must stop developing nuclear weapons. Only us, and Russia, Britain, France, India and Pakistan have the right to have nuclear weapons. No one else does.

Only terrorists ask "why".

Imagine it this way – a house in which only me and my buddies can have guns, and no one else. If other people try to buy guns, we shoot them. A perfect system to ensure everyone’s safety, even you must be able to see that. Why do you need weapons? Trust us. We mean you no harm.

Sure there hasn’t been a decade in which we haven’t invaded some other country, but you’re missing the big picture here: we’re always doing it for their own good.

And if you do develop nuclear weapons – this means we can’t invade you and we can’t tell you how to live. Do you realize what this means? Do I have to spell it out for you?

Alright then: If you don’t want us to be able to invade you or tell you how to live, this means you are against freedom. And that can’t be tolerated.

Perhaps we’ll do a preemptive invasion, we’ve become real experts on that, just so that you don’t have time to develop weapons because of which we can’t invade.

Or maybe we’ll invade even after you develop these weapons. And this could very well mean the end of the world. You see – you are forcing us to do this. This hurts us more that in hurts you. It’s for your own good.

How about I just solemnly promise to never invade you? True, two years later the next administration may go ahead and invade you, but that's because we keep changing our governments. That's called 'democracy' and 'stability', I don't expect you to understand.

At the end of the day, your only hope of safety is to never acquire weapons which can stop us. And that’s the gawd’s truth.

Yours, Sam
  








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