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Young Writers Society


Snipits from your story.



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Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:19 am
Angel of Death says...



Another great piece, me thinks!
Elizabeth stared down at her feet. Her shoes were covered in mud and for once, it was a comfort to her. She did not care if her mother yelled at her for having dirty shoes. Patrick’s eyes were washing over her face and she could not meet them. He had changed since he had left and it was not for the best. Elizabeth sometimes dreamed what it would be like to pursue your own dreams without money. What it would be like to leave the family for love and traveling the world seeing wonders beyond imagination, with the one you loved. Patrick pushed her face up so that she was forced to look into his sad blue eyes. A smile was playing on his lips but Elizabeth could tell that it was not real. He was just trying to comfort him after the harsh words that escaped from his mouth.
“Let us forget this conversation. We shall talk later. Now let us tell the others of my arrival.”
Nodding, Elizabeth took his hand and they both continued up the path to the house. She stared at the rickety fence and the brown critters hopping about. She looked at the weeping tree looming over the house and the sky that held just a moment of sunlight. It was the only thing she could do, for she could not bring herself to look at the stranger who held her hand.
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.
  





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Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:33 am
The-Phantoms-Thorne says...



Aww, AoD! That was cool!

I quite like this long bit:

After his manservant had departed, Dr. Jekyll turned to Emilie and gave her a warm smile. “Perhaps, since we seem to have a distinct lack of patients, you would be so good as to oblige me with another French lesson?”

“Monsieur, I hardly think I need to. Your enunciation and diction are almost perfect.”

“Then humour an old man, please. It would do me good to practice.”

To this remark, Madame Chevalier-Aucoin delivered a light-hearted chuckle. “Old man? Monsieur, you cannot be more than thirty!”

Henry shook his head sadly and looked at his feet. “Curse of my family, I suppose. Or perhaps my own doing. I assure you, Madame, that I am indeed fifty.”

A delicate hand flew to her mouth as Emilie stepped back, her charming violet eyes wide with shock as she observed his broadened form, that of a man at least a couple of decades younger than his professed age. Jekyll drew himself up and pushed his shoulders back, revealing to her for the first time the extent of the changes that had occurred since the transformations that she was currently ignorant of had started taking place again.

She moved forward and touched his face with infinite gentleness, her face full of concern. Henry became painfully aware of her delicate perfume of orange blossom as he fought to stop himself leaning into her touch. Emilie sighed. “Your eyes, dear Lord, your beautifully tormented eyes. They tell the story of your journey. Your body is that of a young man in the prime of his life, but your eyes betray an unspeakable sadness that your soul does not match the body it inhabits. Oh, Henry... what is it that keeps you locked behind this facade of youth?”

Jekyll turned away, ashamed that she could see so accurately into his soul. As he made to walk away, she caught his hand and held it fast. “Don't shun me from your presence, please,” she pleaded. “I can help you, I know I can. I'm begging you, let me help. You hired me as your nurse. Let me play that part to its fullest meaning.”

Henry turned back to her and laid his free hand softly on the top of her silky hair. “You don't know what you're asking from me. You would be putting your very life at risk. I can't ask it of you. Please, Madame, for the sake of all that is good and true, don't get involved with me. I will only lead you to your grave.”

“Don't you think that is my decision to make?” Emilie whispered, moving her own free hand to run her fingers through his thick, dark hair. It was all Jekyll could do not to flinch away from her. No woman had ever touched him with such kindness, let alone display such blatant affection for him. He stood firm and resilient, capturing her hand in his and taking it away from his head.

“Emilie, this is very brave of you, but you must remain firm and resist. I cannot allow you to place yourself in such danger. I care for your safety too much to allow you to put yourself on the path to destruction. Please, if you have any feelings for me at all, honour my wishes this one time.”

Stealing her hands away, his nurse reached up and brought his head down to the level of hers, applying only the smallest amount of pressure. His eyes heavy-lidded, Henry was powerless against her ardent demands as she moved closer to him, the fingers of her right hand moving to play idly with his cravat. Jekyll rubbed the side of his nose gently against hers, his lips parting slightly as her perfume played tricks on his mind. He let out a regretful sigh, wishing he possessed Hyde's carefree abandon. “We need to stop now.”

“Please, do not deny me, Doctor Jekyll, I implore you. I have lived too many years in denial of my own needs since Alphonse's death,” she murmured softly. Henry let out a soft, involuntary moan and leaned in to kiss her, his heart racing and limbs weak.

A sudden, loud rapping on the front door broke the sensual spell that had fallen over the pair. Instantly coming to his senses, Jekyll sprang for the door, leaving a crest-fallen Emilie in his wake. Opening the door, Henry was surprised to see Lady Bernadette Lecour standing on the step with a young woman who looked closely related to the behemoth noblewoman, about fifteen years of age. Beaming a large, encompassing smile, Lady Bernadette half led, half dragged the débutante over the threshold. She turned her blinding grin on the stunned medical team. “Ah, Doctor Jekyll, I am glad that you aren't busy at the moment. This is my niece, Mademoiselle Artémise Lecour. She has been complaining of vicious headaches for some time now and I'm genuinely concerned for her well-being.”

Henry looked scrutinisingly at the young woman, who had the decency to blush a delicate pink. The corner of his mouth turned up when he realised what the headaches could have been caused by. “Madame, forgive my rudeness, but would you permit me to talk to your niece in the privacy of my examination room? Emilie will happily fetch you some tea from our humble kitchen and provide you with good company. In all honesty, this shouldn't take very long.”

“Her health is in your capable hands, Doctor Jekyll,” Lady Bernadette acquiesced. Taking the adolescent lady gently by the hand, Henry led her politely into the room and secured it well behind him. He temporarily rested his forehead against the cool, painted wood and took a deep breath. Turning to face the guilty-looking teenager, he crossed his arms over his chest seriously. “Morning headaches, aren't they? The ones that conveniently get you out of lessons. You've been out at parties and drinking too much, haven't you? They aren't headaches, they're hang-overs.”

“Please, monsieur! If my aunt was to know... she would cut me off from my life in Paris!” Artémise begged. Henry laughed heartily at the young woman's fearful face and raised a hand, shaking his head.

“I won't tell her, but you will need to stop drinking so much and cut back on the glittering social events. More attentions to your studies would also be a good idea.” He reached over to a small medical cabinet he had ordered to be installed and retrieved a small phial of white powder, which he handed to her. Met with a curious look, Henry nodded at it. “It's a pain-killer derived from willow bark, quite harmless and without many side-effects. Mix it with a glass of water and drink it down on the mornings that you suffer the headaches and it will relieve some of the agony. But I expect that you will not be back to get a refill prescription, do you understand?”

The girl nodded mutely. Satisfied that he had made his point adamantly clear, Jekyll turned to unlock the door.

“What is the price of your silence, monsieur?”

Pausing at the lock, Henry blinked slowly, forming his response carefully. He turned back to face her. “Price? There is only the price for the medicine, mademoiselle. I am a doctor, after all.”

Artémise rushed forward and grabbed the man around his waist. Panicking, Henry lifted his arms high above his head as she snuggled her face against his chest and wiggled her hips invitingly. “I am no innocent. I can pay whatever the price you desire.”

Grabbing her arms and unlatching the precocious girl from his middle, Henry sat her on the floor and leaned over her. “You are a child,” he hissed angrily, “do not grow up before your time. Enjoy the happy abandon that childhood affords. Too soon the world will expect you to be accountable for your actions.”

Artémise looked up at her physician and gasped. His green eyes broiled and churned, flashing between brilliant emerald and palest jade. She crawled away from him, unable to break eye contact. Jekyll stood up straight and nodded soberly. “Finally, you understand my meaning.”

“Oui, monsieur, I cannot escape it. Will you let me out?”

“The door is unlatched. You may rejoin your aunt.”

The girl bolted outside, stumbling clumsily into the waiting area, where a surprised Lady Bernadette almost dropped her teacup. “Artémise! What on earth is the matter, child?”

Artémise turned her head frantically and implored Jekyll with soulful brown eyes. Henry smiled in a docile manner. “There is nothing to worry about. I was simply testing how dizzy she gets during these headaches and I fear she hasn't quite recovered. However, I have given her a tonic to take away much of the pain, but it is only to be taken if she experiences acute pain resulting from the headaches.”

Lady Bernadette sighed and placed a beefy hand over her heart which, Henry thought with an ill-timed and badly concealed smirk, lay protected behind her impressive bosom. “Thank the Heavens! I rather feared she had contracted the brain fever! Every morning, she awakes rolling about in agony, crying to God to take away her undue punishment.”

I don't think it was rather undue, Henry thought to himself and dared to shoot a glance at his nurse. Emilie was stifling a giggle behind a dainty lace handkerchief. He bowed his head, seemingly to agree with the gullible aristocrat, but really to disguise a chuckle. Jekyll brought his head back up and nodded gravely. “Indeed, your Ladyship. Artémise is clearly not at fault. Not at all, but then again, I can only offer my best advice as an experienced physician.”

Clearly that is so, monsieur. I thank you for your honesty and aid. I must implore you, do take up the offer to attend the Opera with Madame Chevalier-Aucoin. My husband does not fancy the arts, but it is an experience to be had at least once. Oh, do say you'll come?”

Henry paused for dramatic effect. Turning his head, he sighed and looked over at Emilie. “I'm afraid I really don't know.”

Lady Bernadette's brow creased gently in confusion. “Don't know what, monsieur.”

The doctor turned a brilliant smile on his surgery nurse. “I don't know if Madame Chevalier-Aucoin would consent to being my escort the evening, therefore I cannot give you an answer.”

Emilie let out an excited squeal and threw her arms around Jekyll's neck. Laughing, he lifted her off her feet and spun her around. Instantly realising that this was probably not the most dignified way to respond to the polite invitation, the couple separated and reddened. It was Emilie who spoke first. “Of course, Madame. I would be delighted to accompany you and the good doctor here to the Opera. When would it be of most convenience to you?”

Lady Bernadette clapped her hands in glee. “Fantastique! Tomorrow night, then. I shall look forward to seeing you both there!” She flourished a hand in her niece's general direction. “Come, Artémise! We will return to your studies now that you have your medicine.”

As she was frog-marched to the door by her blustery aunt, Artémise called over her shoulder to the doctor and nurse. “Merci! I hope that I shall see you at the Opera soon, monsieur!”

The heavy door banged shut loudly behind the posh pair and the waiting room rang with the loud, unrestrained laughter of Jekyll and Emilie at the odd antics that had just occurred. Dabbing at her eyes with the handkerchief she had used earlier to cover up her giggling, Madame Chevalier-Aucoin sighed. “Oh dear, I haven't laughed like that in the longest time. I do believe that young socialite has taken a bit of an instant liking to you.”

“Like you wouldn't believe,” Henry chuckled, ducking into the laboratory to inspect the contents of the cupboards.
~@ Hyde's Classic Lines @~
“I must say, I enjoy a bit of carnage in the evening.”
“Well, this is the oddest angle I've seen London at, I must confess.”
  








If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
— Lemony Snicket