Okay, this is a play that I have been working on for 2 years and was finally completed in time for a Writer's Craft assignment. My teacher and theatre company seem to like it, so I would like to share it and get some more opinions because you can never have enough! On a side note, this play is being presented in my theatre company (Stage 1) on the 19-21 of August 2010 with me portraying the role of Yakov. It is very exciting!!
CHARACTERS:
YAKOV: Male. A Russian immigrant and Boris’s brother. Has a bad fake Russian accent
BORIS: Male. A Russian immigrant and Yakov’s brother. Has a bad fake Russian accent
GLORIA: Female. A cafeteria worker
DMITRI: Male. Disgraced English speaking member of the Vory
TATIANA: Female. An assassin and McDonald’s manager
INT.2: Male/Female. Interviews Yakov
Settings: Park / GLORIA’s house
(Opens with BORIS and YAKOV on opposite ends of the stage. They are being interviewed by a person sitting opposite them. Both BORIS and YAKOV have very bad fake Russian accents. They should be the ONLY ones with accents. This particular scene is fast.)
TATIANA: Boris, what makes you think you are right for this company?
BORIS: I am a hard worker. I love to work!
TATIANA: Really. (Jots something down on a clipboard)
BORIS: Yes, really!... Well, no actually…But I really need the money!
INT.2: Yakov, have you ever worked in the service industry?
YAKOV: That depends on what you mean by ‘service’.
INT.2: Customers.
YAKOV: No.
INT.2: What did you think I meant?
BORIS: – And why do you keep calling this a ‘company’ anyway? –
YAKOV: Have you ever heard of the Vory?
BORIS: – Is a McDonalds! Is a fast food place! –
INT.2: Are you threatening me?
BORIS: – Hardly ‘company’ material –
YAKOV: Threatening… Depends. Will it help me?
INT.2: No.
YAKOV: Then no. Is not a threat. Is a fact. I can kill you with my bare hands.
BORIS: – I think this is going great, don’t you?
TATIANA: Uhhh… What?
BORIS: Oh, hold that thought –
YAKOV: (Answering his phone) Hello?
BORIS: (On his phone) Yakov!
YAKOV: Boris!
BORIS: How is your interview going?
YAKOV: I’m in the middle of it. Can I call you back?
TATIANA: Boris?
BORIS: Me too! I just wanted to check-up. I love these New American cell phones!
TATIANA: Boris?
BORIS: (To TATIANA) Hold on! (To YAKOV) Okay, I will call back later!
YAKOV: Sounds good. I will be seeing you! (Hangs up) Sorry about that. Was my brother.
BORIS: (Hangs up) And what did you want to say that was so important?
TATIANA: Get out. (Drops clipboard)
INT.2: (Same time) Get out.
BORIS: I will get it!
TATIANA: No, don’t worry about –
BORIS: I insist. (They both go for it and knock heads. BORIS recovers first and grabs the pencil. He swings around knocking out TATIANA)
INT.2: Just go.
(YAKOV and BORIS are stunned for two completely different reasons. BORIS sneaks off and YAKOV walks to a park bench on center stage. TATIANA and 2 exit with chairs.)
YAKOV: Nothing. Five interviews and nothing. Does not get any more pathetic than that.
(GLORIA enters and sits beside him)
GLORIA: (Noticing YAKOV’s disposition which isn’t hidden very well by YAKOV) Bad day?
YAKOV: Who? Me?
GLORIA: Yeah, you! Who else could I be talking to?
YAKOV: Well nobody I guess.
GLORIA: So?
YAKOV: So…
GLORIA: Rough day?
YAKOV: Oh, that. I guess you could say that it has been a rough week.
GLORIA: Wanna talk about it?
YAKOV: Not really.
GLORIA: It might help.
YAKOV: I do not even know you.
GLORIA: I’m Gloria. (Holds out her hand)
YAKOV: (Tentatively taking it) Uhh… Yakov.
GLORIA: There, now I know you. Are you ever going to tell me what’s wrong?
YAKOV: I will pass thanks.
GLORIA: Oh, come on! How am I ever going to help if I don’t know what’s up.
YAKOV: Fine. I guess you can say that I am… (Finding the right word and failing) Not able to find a job.
GLORIA: I see. Well, I was the same way until I found my calling.
YAKOV: Calling? I do not understand.
GLORIA: You’re not from here, are you?
YAKOV: I moved here from Russia.
GLORIA: Why?
YAKOV: One thing at a time. Now, about the ‘calling’ thing you were saying.
GLORIA: Oh, right. Calling or what I’m meant to do.
YAKOV: Oh. And what is that. For you I mean.
GLORIA: Cooking in a high school cafeteria!
YAKOV: Are you any good?
GLORIA: Well of course I am! Don’t believe me? Come with me back to my place, I’ll cook you something.
YAKOV: What about the calling?
GLORIA: Huh?
YAKOV: High school caf..uhh you know.
GLORIA: My shift ended. I was just enjoying the view before heading home. Come on, it’s no trouble!
YAKOV: I do not know…
GLORIA: It’ll be fun! It’ll get your mind off of this rotten week of yours!
YAKOV: I am waiting for someone…
GLORIA: Call him on the way and get him to meet us there. The more the merrier!
YAKOV: Merrier?
GLORIA: Come on! (She drags him off)
(BORIS enters)
BORIS: Yakov? Huh, and I thought I was late. (Phone rings. He jumps and realizes what it is. He answers) Hello? – Yakov! Where are you, I am at the park waiting – Who? – Gloria? – A cook. I see what is going on, Yakov you sly dog you! – Oh – Okay, I’ll meet you there and she had better be pretty – No, no, I will find a way – See you soon!
(DMITRI enters as he hangs up)
BORIS: New American friend!
DMITRI: What? New American?
BORIS: Yes! You!
DMITRI: Well, actually I’m –
BORIS: It does not matter, what matters is that I need a ride somewhere. Do you know a way?
DMITRI: I actually own a taxi business. I’m heading there right now, it’s not far.
BORIS: Taxi?
DMITRI: Not from here I see.
BORIS: That much I thought was obvious; now tell me what a New American taxi is.
DMITRI: For a price, it’ll take you where you need to go.
BORIS: Oh, of course! We call it something different where I am from. New American money is an issue, however...
DMITRI: Looking for a job then? I think we can talk. I’ve been needing some extra help.
BORIS: Perfect! I am your man!
DMITRI: (Phone rings) Go on ahead, I’ll catch up. (BORIS exits. DMITRI’s Demeanor changes as he answers) Hello? – Who? – Yakov? Look, you know that he might recognize - Yes, of course, but do you remember what - No, it was not my fault! - Sorry. - I won't do it again, but you know that Yakov - Yes of course. I will get him. - Yes, alive. - Ok. (Hangs up) Yakov is here? This may be my chance. Finally, revenge will be mine! (Laughs maniacally)
BORIS: (Offstage) Is your car?
DMITRI: No wait! (Crash sounds) I didn’t take a car.
BORIS: (Offstage) I can fix! (DMITRI exits)
(Scene changes to GLORIA’s house. She and YAKOV are sitting at a table. A giant vat of… Something… is on the ground nearby)
YAKOV: Boris will be here. We can just eat now and he can eat when he gets here. Is his own fault!
GLORIA: Not until everyone is here. So, why did you guys immigrate here anyways?
YAKOV: Not important. Land of opportunity you know.
GLORIA: Oh. (Pause) Kicked out?
YAKOV: No! Why do you insist on knowing everything! Curiosity killed the cat I hear.
GLORIA: I just want to know more about you. (awkward pause) So were you or what?
YAKOV: I will tell if you would stop insisting on knowing everything.
GLORIA: I promise.
YAKOV: Okay. How to begin... uh... Do you know of the Vory?
GLORIA: You mean the Russian Mafia? I’ve only heard rumours. Are you being chased?
YAKOV: In a way, but is beyond that.
GLORIA: I’m listening.
YAKOV: I was part of the Vory.
GLORIA: Really? Did you have to kill?
YAKOV: Yes, but I did not enjoy it.
GLORIA: So you got out.
YAKOV: Yes, but there is more to it than that and with the way Vory operates, it was not so easy.
GLORIA: What’s the reason then?
YAKOV: Is not important. I went to Boris. Partly because he had told me of a new world away from everything else, but because he was the only person left that would take me. The only person who had not given up on me. He called the place ‘New America’.
GLORIA: New America?
YAKOV: Canada. He calls it New America for reasons I could only guess. Is hard to know how his mind works. Trust me, you will go crazy if you try. I initially turned him down, but when I left the Vory, it all changed and I reconsidered knowing that they would have trouble tracking me. Is great in that way, but we are more likely to be killed by starvation now. I should have known. He made this place look great. We have been here for two weeks and I have not seen anything ‘great’. Boris holds out hope. I guess I could admire that if I was not so busy starving... Can we eat now?
GLORIA: Not until everyone is here. Plus, give this place a chance. It grows on you.
YAKOV: I’m sure.
GLORIA: No, really it does! I’ll let you help me out at the school and stay here until you see that! Just give it a chance!
YAKOV: Really? Thanks Gloria.
GLORIA: No problem. You can start work tomorrow.
(BORIS bursts in)
BORIS: Guess what New American woman… And brother!
GLORIA: What?
BORIS: I have gotten New American job!
GLORIA: Good work!
YAKOV: Gloria, this is my brother, Boris.
BORIS: Nice to meet you! Tell me, Yakov, any luck?
YAKOV: Yes, actually.
BORIS: Good work! I knew you could! Where?
GLORIA: He’s working with me.
BORIS: Doing what?
YAKOV: Cooking.
BORIS: Ha! Never thought you would be doing that, eh? From killing to cooking in two weeks. Must be a new record or something. Gloria, my brother Yakov was a part of –
YAKOV: She knows.
BORIS: Oh.
YAKOV: And do not be telling everyone! Incognito, remember?
BORIS: Remember? I do not even know what it means!
YAKOV: Keep it a secret.
BORIS: Fine, whatever! Guess what I am doing?
GLORIA: You’ve got us.
BORIS: Come on, guess!
GLORIA: I don’t know, uhhh… Salesman?
BORIS: Close, taxi driver!
YAKOV: How is that close? Know what, it does not matter, you cannot drive!
BORIS: Of course I can!
GLORIA: (Looking out of the window) How did you get here?
BORIS: Dropped off by new boss.
GLORIA: No cab?
BORIS: I crashed it!
YAKOV: Of course.
GLORIA: You still have a job?
BORIS: Why not?
YAKOV: You crashed a car!
BORIS: So?
YAKOV: Whatever. Can we eat now?
GLORIA: Yes, of course! (She opens the vat. BORIS and YAKOV recoil at the smell)
BORIS: What is that?!
GLORIA: (Oblivious) Dinner!
YAKOV: Maybe you should try it before you insult her. She worked hard for this.
BORIS: Why don’t you?!
YAKOV: I know how we can solve this. Rock, paper, scissors.
BORIS: You are on!
GLORIA: There’ll be enough for all of us; you don’t need to fight over it!
YAKOV: We are fighting over the privilege of being the first one to try it. Now come on, Boris, let us get this over with!
BORIS: Bring it, Yakov!
(They have a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. BORIS wins)
BORIS: Ha!
GLORIA: Great! Now you can be the first one to try my mystery meat! Bet you can’t guess what’s in it!
BORIS: Wait, no. I do not think it was fair, uhh… Best two out of three!
YAKOV: No, I think it was plenty fair. You won Boris, now claim your prize.
BORIS: Okay…
(GLORIA puts the vat down near BORIS. He smells it and almost falls over. He puts a finger into it and tastes it. He promptly faints)
YAKOV: He okay?
GLORIA: Oh, he’ll be fine. Some people just aren’t used to the spices.
End Part 1.
Gender:
Points: 3320
Reviews: 45