Young Writers Society

This continues right where the first part left off.

(Scene opens at the park again. DMITRI is sitting on a bench waiting for someone while looking at a photo. After a moment, TATIANA enters. She is wearing a bandage around her head. DMITRI hastily pockets the picture.)

DMITRI: About time, Tatiana. The Vory doesn’t like to wait... What happened to your head?

TATIANA: Nothing. And I had to make sure no one was following me.

DMITRI: Like who?

TATIANA: Doesn’t matter. Standard procedure. What do you want?

DMITRI: This man. (He goes to take out the photo, but a knife falls out of his pocket)

TATIANA: (Indicating the knife) You nervous about this man?

DMITRI: You don’t know the half of it. Here. (Hands her the photo)

TATIANA: Name?

DMITRI: Dmitri.

TATIANA: His name.

DMITRI: Oh, Yakov. Yakov Istor. A Russian immigrant. I need you because I won’t be able to get close without him recognizing me. The Vory wants him alive, but I’m sure I can explain if he ends up dead. Sure would be easier.

TATIANA: You two have history?

DMITRI: You could say that.

TATIANA: You do understand my payment.

DMITRI: You’ll be well compensated.

TATIANA: Where is he?

DMITRI: He was spotted at the house of some cafeteria worker.

TATIANA How reliable is the source?

DMITRI: I gave the kid twenty bucks for the information so he’d better be reliable.

TATIANA (pockets picture) I will accept.

DMITRI: Good. Now go.

(TATIANA exits. DMITRI sits and pulls out another photo from his wallet. He has been obviously obsessing over this. YAKOV backs in. DMITRI sees him and jumps behind the bench.)

YAKOV: (Sitting) Okay, Yakov. Calm down. You have seen worse. Much worse. Is just food. Food. Yes. That is it and nothing else…Who am I kidding, I have NEVER seen anything like THAT.

(He buries his head in his hands. DMITRI appears behind him with the photo. He looks at the photo, then at YAKOV and smiles. YAKOV turns and he disappears.)

YAKOV: I am just paranoid. Was nothing. Gloria’s mystery meat has obviously left a mark on me.

(DMITRI appears again with a knife poised to strike. At the last moment, YAKOV turns and DMITRI is forced to hide the knife.)

DMITRI: (Badly innocent) Hello there.

YAKOV: Uhh, hello stranger. What are you doing behind bench?

DMITRI: Nothing important. (YAKOV turns again. DMITRI goes to strike, but YAKOV gets up and he misses.)

YAKOV: Well, can you tell me something, friend?

DMITRI: (Getting frustrated) Sure.

YAKOV: Do you know what is in mystery meat?

DMITRI: No.

YAKOV: You do not want to. Trust me.

DMITRI: Good to know. (YAKOV turns his back to him)

YAKOV: This woman I know, (DMITRI draws the knife and the picture falls again) says cooking is her calling. (Rises knife, YAKOV turns, he hides it)

DMITRI: (Increasingly frustrated) Really.

YAKOV: Yes. I thought nothing of it at first. I mean, I did not even know what a ‘calling’ was, but from what I saw, I am being led to believe that her definition of ‘calling’ is eerily close to our definition of ‘murder’.

DMITRI: I see. (He takes out the knife, but YAKOV doesn’t notice as he is preoccupied with the picture on the ground.)

YAKOV: What is this? (Swing and a miss by DMITRI. YAKOV has the picture) Is me!

DMITRI: (Twitching with frustration) Huh. (He goes to slash, but YAKOV moves out of the way. DMITRI is tripped up and when YAKOV turns again, they should be face-to-face)

YAKOV: You look familiar.

DMITRI: I’m sure.

YAKOV: Have I seen you before?

DMITRI: Possibly.

YAKOV: (Dawns on him) Look, buddy. I do not swing that way.

DMITRI: What? (YAKOV pushes DMITRI and he drops the knife. YAKOV is still oblivious)

YAKOV: I know I am attractive and all, but you are not my type. This is your picture, is it not?

DMITRI: I really don’t know what you are talking about.

YAKOV: Do not lie, I know it is. That is why I recognized you; you have been following me so you could get your chance to talk to me.

DMITRI: Not likely.

YAKOV: I am not interested, but I am flattered. Look, I have to get back to work; do not let me catch you following. (exit)

(DMITRI grabs his knife and BORIS enters.)

BORIS: Boss!!

DMITRI: What the – Oh, you. Didn’t I fire you?

BORIS: No, I do not think so. Why would you, we are friends!!

DMITRI: You crashed three of my cars. In the same day. You’re not even supposed to be driving!

BORIS: I told you, I can fix.

DMITRI: And how is that going?

BORIS: Well, I need to get that one out of river first.

DMITRI: Good luck with that.

BORIS: When is my next job?

DMITRI: Never.

BORIS: Do not be like that! You know I need this New American job so I can make New American money which I could use to fish New American car out of New American water and start to live the New American dream…New America!!!

DMITRI: Not my problem.

BORIS: I need this job, boss!

DMITRI: Do you even know my name?

BORIS: (Rare pause. Cricket sound effect. Savor it) Bob?

DMITRI: Dmitri. Not even close.

BORIS: Dmitri! Wait, that sounds Russian, but you are not Russian.

DMITRI: (Mimicking BORIS in an earlier scene) That much I thought was obvious! (Normal) I’m half Russian.

BORIS: Small world, eh? Look, I would love to stay and talk, but I need to go see Yakov.

DMITRI: Yakov?

BORIS: Yes.

DMITRI: You know Yakov? (Too himself out of blind frustration) Of course. That crafty little man. He knew that I knew him so he really couldn’t personally make my life a living hell, so he sent someone else to ruin it for him. Makes perfect sense. And if he were to ever meet me, he would play dumb and I would look like a fool!

BORIS: Uhh, is just my brother. Are you okay?

DMITRI: You two are related!? He sent his brother to torture me? And thought I wouldn’t find out? He definitely is underestimating me.

BORIS: What are you talking about?

DMITRI: Right, Boris! As it turns out, I need you to go and fetch him for me.

BORIS: For what?

DMITRI: Well, I have something of his back at my cab shack. Can you get him for me?

BORIS: Of course! Anything for New American boss!

DMITRI: Go now! I’ll meet you at the cab shack. (BORIS exits enthusiastically) Now I have a backup plan in case Tatiana fails, and who better to carry it out that Yakov’s own brother. I must prepare! (exit)

(Scene opens at GLORIA’s house. GLORIA is adding ‘spices’ to the giant vat of ‘mystery meat’. YAKOV stumbles in. He looks ready to hurl)

YAKOV: I think you have added enough spices.

GLORIA: Don’t be foolish, you can never have enough!

YAKOV: But is bordering on lethal!

GLORIA: Oh, what’s a few casualties in the name of art!

YAKOV: Art!?

GLORIA: Of course! Here, try! Oh, and try to keep it down this time. And don’t die like the last one did.

YAKOV: There was a last one!?

GLORIA: Many other ones! But they all seem to die after trying the mystery meat. Oh well, I’m sure it’s not connected. Now come here!

YAKOV: I do not think so. We can find someone else.

GLORIA: You want to help?

YAKOV: Yes.

GLORIA: Then you’ll be helping if you try it. I need to know if it is ready for the students.

YAKOV: The smell says that perhaps it is not ready.

GLORIA: Oh it’s supposed to smell like that! Now taste!

YAKOV: Okay... I guess I had a good run.

(As YAKOV gets ready to try ‘it’, TATIANA enters with a gun drawn)

TATIANA: Stop right there Yakov and step away from the... Is that meat?

GLORIA: Yes it is!

YAKOV: Oh thank God!

GLORIA: Wait! Who are you?

TATIANA: Don’t you be concerned, I need Yakov.

YAKOV: Perhaps I should go before she hurts somebody.

TATIANA: Really? That was easy.

GLORIA: Wait, I need him!

YAKOV: Do not try to be a hero, Gloria. You will just get hurt.

TATIANA Come on.

(BORIS enters and throws TATIANA out of the way without really seeing her. She knocks her head off of the vat and is unconscious again.)

BORIS: YAKOV!!!

YAKOV: Boris!?

BORIS: You need to come with me!

GLORIA: You knocked her out!

BORIS: (Sees the body, the head should be hidden from him. He doesn’t recognize her as INT.1.) What do you know? I did!

GLORIA: You saved Yakov!

BORIS: I did?

YAKOV: (Looking at the ‘Mystery Meat’) That is still questionable.

GLORIA: Now you can try my mystery meat!

BORIS: No time! My New American boss has something for you!

YAKOV: Who is your boss?

BORIS: (Another rare pause. Maybe cricket sound effects) Bob or something. Now come on!

YAKOV: He needs me.

GLORIA: Hurry back! (BORIS and YAKOV exit. TATIANA regains consciousness) Will you try this? (She looks at the vat. Sniffs. Faints) I guess not.

End part 2

I don't really know all that much about scripts, but I saw this on here and thought I'd at least give it a read. And I'm glad I did! It was really funny, for one thing. The comedy of Dmitri going to stab Yakov and Yakov moving every time... classic, but still funny. And, the mystery meat. Also very funny.

I don't really know what to say about it other than that. It was funny, and I liked it. The dialogue seemed good to me, and I could hear the various speaking styles of the characters in it; whether that was you or my imagination, it doesn't really matter. And so, characters are good, dialogue's good (which I guess is important for a script), and it was really funny. Would be better actually acted out, of course, but that's just how things go.

And... that's all I have. Sorry I can't be more helpful.

Rach