Contains some strong language & Adult humour.
Authors note: This is a sitcom heavily under-construction. The companies that it's by, "FLS Films" & "fbnproductions" are both owned/co-owned by me and I own full copyrights of each. I'd like some feedback on the current content. This is the build of Episode 2. Second names of cast members are protected.
The Orange Cover
A sitcom by FLS Films & fbnproductions
Publishing firm, set in my room.
Characters:
Reg - BEN FRANKS
Reg is a Dylan Moran-like character, he’ll be very sarcastic and lazy, mostly lying on the bed and being a bit of a pessimist. He wears a tie that hangs down from his dark shirt and wears some scruffy, ankle-swinging jeans.
Arthur - PETER L***
Roger - BEN S******
Jenkins - ALEX F*****
Ideas:
Opening credits. ~ see phone.
Ben S enters the room, everyone, one-by-one, says, “Mornin’ Roger!” He nods and begins to cry, really badly acted, so it looks fake.
“What’s up, Roger?” asks Alex.
Ben F: “He probably forgot to eat some of ‘em Weatabix, y’know Roger and his Weatabix, can’t go a week without putting aside a happy hour for ‘em.”
Pete: “No, no, Reg. It’s some’t more than that look. These are real tears.”
Ben F: “What were you expectin’? For ‘em to be made out’a milk?”
Pete: “No, no, look. When he came in last week forgettin’ his Weatabix, he just sat down and looked upset. There weren’t no real tears, Reg.”
Alex: “Oh for Christ’s sake you two, it ain’t nothin’ to do with Weatabix or tears. He probably forgot to put the rubbish out.”
Ben F: “The rubbish?”
Pete: “Yeah, you know, Reg. Like your wife.”
Ben F: “Oh! The rubbish!”
Ben S: “Oh for god’s sake!” Stops over-acted crying and gets angry, “Can’t you idiots see that I just got dumped god dammit!”
Alex: “Dumped by who?”
Ben F: “Oh didn’t y’know Jenkins? He’s been screwin’ the Milkman’s wife.”
Alex: “**** off ‘as he!”
Pete: “He ‘as ‘n’ all.”
Ben S: “Oh yeah, thanks for the morale support lads.”
Pete: “What you want morales for?”
Ben F: “No, not ‘em morales Artie, he’s on ‘bout ‘em other ones.”
Alex: “Bloody ‘ell, there’s more than one?”
Ben F: “Yeah there’s ‘em other ones, in’t there?”
Ben S: “What the- are you on about?”
Pete: “Y’know perfectly well, we’re on ‘bout ‘em morales you need.”
Ben S: “I didn’t bloody mean it literally.”
Ben F: “Blimmin’ ‘eck he must’a been sarcastic look.”
Pete: “I bloody ‘ate people.”
Alex: “We’re all down in the friggen’ dumps now in’t we?”
Ben F: “All ‘cause Roger’s screwin’ the milkman.”
Pete: “No, no, Reg. It ain’t the milkman, it’s the milkman’s wife, in’t it.”
Ben F: “Frick’ me, he’s doin’ the both of ‘em?”
Ben S: “No, I’m bloody well not!”
Alex: “Sorry ‘bout your loss Roger, wanna drink?”
Ben S: “She din’t pass away you idiot. She just dumped me.”
Pete: “Oh, so now you want her dead?”
Ben F: “Fricken’ ‘eck that’s a bit’a long haul in’t it?”
Ben S: “WHAT THE - ”
Ben F: “Oi, oi, Artie. Neighbours is on.”
Pete: “Oo, ‘ang on,” jumps across room.
Ben S: “Jesus, ain’t no one gon’a give me sympathy?”
Alex: “No, no, mate. I think its empathy you want.”
Ben S: “What?”
Alex: “Well, accordin’ to the Collins and Barrett’s dictionary it says that you want empathy ‘cause sympathy’s the other thing in’t it.”
Ben S: “I don’t bloody know!”
Ben F: “Ay, ay! Guys, Roger wants some empathy. ‘Ere you are Roger, I’ll treat you to a sing song.”
Ben S: “Oh for -”
n End of scene, slide transition to next –
“Let it be” with Ben F on keyboard and the others harmonizing. When it gets to the electric bit, we all stand and put everything into the harmony and singing like wolves.
n End of Scene, slide transition with logo to next –
Alex is typing vigorously on the keyboard and Pete’s playing the xbox. – Same monitor. Ben S is reading the dictionary for some reason.
Ben F comes in and looks at Alex, thinks it’s somewhat bizarre and walks over to Pete.
Ben F: “What on earth is Jenkins doin’?”
Pete: (Childish laugh) “He thinks he’s playin’ on the Xbox look, but he in’t. I am!”
Ben F: “Artie, we’re at work.”
Pete: “Ah, but I live to work.”
Ben F: “Well, then. Work.”
Pete: “I can’t. I’m dead.”
Ben F: (Looks at him weirdly and then retires to lying back on the bed. Pete does a zombie impression after him and he turns around pretending to be Stephen Segal. Alex curses because he crashed.)
Ben S: “Hey! I did mean sympathy not empathy.”
Alex just gets up, walks over to Ben S and slaps him square round the face.
Ben F: I was thinkin' 'bout literature the other day."
Pete: "Well don't think too 'ard will ya, Reg? You'll do y'brain some damage."
Ben S: "Yeah, Reg, 'member last week, you got all randy about 'em philosophy issues."
Ben F: "I weren't randy and it ain't no philosophy, it was 'em Greek weren't it?"
Alex: "Yeah, t'was. Artie's the philosophical one."
Ben S: "Jesus don't we know."
Pete: "I ain't philosophical, merely got an idealist, in't I. Like literature you say, I like to think of that as an onion, 'cause -"
Ben F: "Well that's fuckin' bollucks, if I thought like that the first thing I'm gonna do is fry it and then eat it."
Ben S: "Oo, In't that right. Reg and 'is food."
Alex: "You and your fricken' weatabix."
Ben S: "Oh f-"
~~Credits
Gender:
Points: 42428
Reviews: 411