Young Writers Society

I have a great deal to say, but I'm afraid this may be the wrong number on which to say it. My apologies. *click* ~Una


Jaymir's Answering Machine:

Hello, you have reached Jaymir Shevri's answering machine. You've probably been directed here in error, since most people who call me would much rather talk to my brother, Chaad. In that case, I won't be at all offended if you hang up. But if you really did want to talk to me, please leave a message. If you call me 'sir', I won't get back to you. Otherwise, have a nice day.

L'ira to Jaymir: Um... I don't know exactly how to ask this but... I'm looking for someone that's willing to sell weaponry. I got your number from some one that may or may not have been trying to get me killed. Which one was it?

L'ira's answering machine:... *beep*

Candy to L'ira:
Well aren't you creative Mr. Man! Don't know how to leave a message is that it? Well, how in the world I'm a supposed to know if I called the right number if you don't leave a message! Some people! *laughs*

Candy/Kent/Kia/Frank's Answering Machine:

Candy: Hey peoples! You've reached the home of...

Kent: Kent Peterson...

Frank: Frank Gomez...

Kia: Kia...

Candy: And the glorious Candy Abbasi! Please leave a message, and we'll try to get back to you! If we don't we're either dead or we don't like you! Love and kisses peeps!

Kent: Candy, you're so strange... *beep!*

Jaikal to Candy/Kent/Kia/Frank:
Well, I certainly hope you don't get back to me. I would prefer you didn't like me, and it would be a pleasant surprise if you were dead. Then I wouldn't have to listen to incessant chattering. *click*

Mirran's answering machine:
*Hallelia chorus sounds in background* You've reached... ME!! Leave a message. *Music is abruptly cut off*
*Beeeeep*

Oy! yous 'uv reached me kun, vinnie's kun, dat is, likesay. if yous wanna rabbit ter me ma', dun she'll pick up if de feel'n is reciprocated. and dat means yous 'ugh, yous **** 'unti mother******. i'll dead, and ay arl arse 'onestly, **** yous up, ken?

-- Vinnie

Right, well, you've obviously reached me, and either I'm not here, or I'm busy, and don't want to pick up. If that's the case, then I'm sorry. Georgie, I'll buy you a drink, or something. Vinnie, I'll... kick your arse. Sorry I said arse, ma.

Leave it after the beep.

--John Jaeggar.

Alright, like... I'm Atticus Anansi, you've reached my kun. If you've got a message then say it quick, and if its long, then say it to my face.

-- Atty Anansi.

Well, you've reached Fiona's (Well, what the **** am I, like? ****ing invisible, that is, eh?) And... And that's Georgie (George!) George Davis. He's staying for a while-- that's, hey, mum, he's staying for a while. I meant to tell you. (Where's the ****ing telly controller, I can't believe you lost the telly controller!) I ain't lost the telly controller, you arse! I've told you a thousand times that it's in the--!

--Fiona, and Georgie.

This is... This is Ruth, and... Leave your message. Or... call me later. Or, don't. I dannae. See you.

-- Ruth, the dyke.

This topic is rated G. Uncensored cursing is prohibited outside the literary forums, and only in context inside the literary forums.

If you must use curse words, censor your curse words.

Lady Grace: **the sound of someone fainting** BEEP!

The answering machine of Sir Gabriel: Hello. I'm out chasing demons at the moment. If you've just killed an entire village, press 1. If you've just seen a village destroyed, press 2. If you're a damsel in distress, you've called the wrong number. I dont do dragons. BEEP!

Brenna to Sir Gabriel: None of the above apply to me but I'd rather save the village myself.

Monessa: If you're The Pans, do not leave a message. Everyone else is welcome to.

Charlie to Monessa: Last I checked, I was neither a boy who never grew up nor a kitchen utensil... so thanks, I think.

Charlie: I'm probably grading papers--or plotting my sordid revenge against a certain gray-eyed harpy--so leave a message and if I don't wish I'd never met you, I just might return the call.

Jaikal to Charlie:
Gray-eyed harpy, hmm? My name's Jaikal, call me back. I just might be able to help you with that. *click*

Jether's answering machine:
*Pink Panther theme blasts out* Hi, this is Jether's new answering machine, how do you like the song? I'm off taking care of horses, so leave a message and if you're a friend I'll get back to you and if you're not I probably still will. Farewell, one and all! *BEEP*

Leref to Jether: That song is... interesting. Please turn it down. We can hear it all the way over here. *click*

Leref's answering machine: The Cyrok are now in control of this island, as it should be. Please leave a message and we'll get back to you in due course.

This appears to be the wrong number. My apologies.-Jebdah

Della's Answering Machine

Della's Bakery, delectable desserts made by aliens for aliens! Leave a message and I or my assistant Jebdah will get back to you about your order. Thanks!

Jaist to Della:
Good afternoon, Della, my name is Jaist from the Inn of the Black TIger. It seems that some of our supplies have gotten mixed up. You have some of ours and we have some of yours. At least I don't remember ordering twenty forty-pound barrels of cream... Get back to me when you can. Thank you.

Sethren's answering machine:
Hello, this is Sethren Jarialinson, and if you have managed to work your way through the network of my bodyguards in order to reach me, I congradulate you. Leave a message and I shall attend to it at my pleasure. *chime*

Marthina to Sethren
Hi...i must admit it was tough work to get past your bodyguards! Oh. let me introduce myself...I am Marthina...I am caling you because the spirits told me too...i do not belive in this stuff normally, but this time, i was sure it was true, it said you would have some important news for me...? Get back to me please...Marthina!


Ceridwens amswering machine...
Hello, if you are calling from Wales...please hang up...i have left you all behind and i love it here...if you are one of my new friends...then i will calll you back ASAP if you are a big green eyed monster about to eat me up...then i am going to scream...thanks...Ceridwen

Jaikal to Ceridwen:
I'm not from Wales, I'm not one of your new friends and last time I checked I'm not a big green-eyed monster. You're pathetic. Go to Hell. *click*

Jaikal's new answering machine:
Unless you're going to throw money at me or you're Pain calling to tell me that you love me, hang up and go to Hell! *BEEP*

(Sorry about that; Jaikal seems to be in quite a foul mood today. I wonder why?