I'm sitting here at...12:04 am...waiting for him to call me like he said he would. You know, when he finally gets home. I'm not sure why I'm sitting here, waiting for him. I know that the minute I give up, the minute I go to bed, he's going to call my phone and I'm going to be woken up. I'll be angry at first, just like I always am and then he'll say in his cute, little voice "Honey, are you mad?" And then something strange will happen.
My guts will go all wiggly and ooze out through my toes, and I'll forget that I sat up all night waiting for his call.
"Of course I'm not mad." I'll say. And I wont be, until I hang up and roll over, and look out the window at the lightening sky. How do guys do that, anyway? One minute you're furious with them, the next they have you wrapped around their little finger.
The problem is, when it comes to Jason, I'm Silly Putty. My friends tell me I'm crazy; a guy is a guy is a guy and all guys (so they say) are heartbreakers, when you get right down to it. But here I am, still waiting for him to ring like a faithful puppy-dog. I'm pathetic.
1:07. I am still waiting, sitting on my bed. I have pulled my knees up to my chest and I am hugging them, trying not to cry. Has he forgotten me? Is he okay? I do not know the answers to these questions, but here I am still, a pathetic little bookworm that was so thrilled when he called for the first time. How could he do this to me, after all we've been through together? We went out for track together, ditched out friends together... there is so much I am remembering, but why? Why now?
Never interrupt your enemy when he's making a mistake... unless it's to remind him that he won't fail... he just won't kill you.
Stupid telephone. Its one of those old style ones, with the twirly dial and the loud ring tone and stuff. Jason bought it for me at a garage sale last year as a joke, and both of us were surprised to find it still worked. God, how we'd laughed!
I sigh, and then scowl. I cant decide whether I want him to ring back or not. Its not like I'd take him back, not after - well. You know. Shit - were we really broken up? Suddenly I panic. I didnt actually say I was dumping him did I? My heart seizes up and I turn our brief conversation over in my mind. I'd said he was evil, and he'd said...well, I hung up before he said anything. I breathe again. We were still together then, for better or for worse. Maybe there was some kind of explanation for the Voice on the phone.
perhaps he was really was at a meeting, or was this just a voice not quite mine telling me.
Could I trully believe the Voice wasnt what I thought it was. Then I look at our 2 year little girl in the bed beside me and whisper he couldnt possibly want to do something as crazy as this and our sweet denise find out. I placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and would think about in the morning, tears were flowing down my cheeks as I shut the life off.
Sleep found me quickly, a single blessing amist the darkness of the moonless night. I drift among the stars, oblivious to Jason and even to Denise. They cannot enter the world I rest in; they can only hope to draw me back from it with their screams and arrows of pain.
My eyes snap open and once again Denise is the one to lure me from my refuge with her babyish cries. I turn to face her, my eyes meeting hers. She quiets for a moment and we stare at each other, lost in thoughts that were so very different...
Never interrupt your enemy when he's making a mistake... unless it's to remind him that he won't fail... he just won't kill you.
i dont really understand this and I couldn't find a discussion thread.. but what is going on?? is everyone the same person? What type of storybook is this?
All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, and I promise you something great will come of it.
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