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LordZeus wrote:@TinyJarStoredDreams Great post! just a couple of things I'd like you to change please. You mentioned Erik puffing out his chest as he asked if she had a light saber, but he wouldn't do that. He's not that kind of person. Perhaps it would be better if you said that he looked at her curiously as he asked if she bad a lightsaber. You see, he's 18, past the child stage so that last thing doesn't fit him.
Also, towards the end of your post you said that the kids were in awe. Well, Erik isn't really a kid as he is 18 (albeit with a great sense of daring and fun). Also, he travelled loved the galaxy for 7 years and has seen lightsabers and fights with them before. So, although Ro would probably looked awed, Erik would look wary (which is what he would feel). Could you please change that?
In any case, great post! I can't wait to see more of how our characters interact!
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